Elders "disassociated" me-after I married non-JW

by Nikita 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Nikita

  In was baptized in 1983 at the age of 18. By the end of 1984, I was beginning the fade thing. For 5 years I was an "inactive" witness. I can recall maybe one visit from an elder , though a few more from some "friends" that had missed me. Shortly after I married in June 1989, it was announced that by my actions I was to be considered "disassociated." I don't know what actions they came up with-marrying a non-believer-is that grounds for it? The fact that I was married in a church? Looking around at Quotes website, I see that the elders can make this determination if the person has:

  15 Or, a person might renounce his place in the Christian congregation by his actions, such as by becoming part of an organization whose objective is contrary to the Bible, and, hence, is under judgment by Jehovah God. (Compare Revelation 19:17-21; Isaiah 2:4.) So if one who was a Christian chose to join those who are disapproved of God, it would be fitting for the congregation to acknowledge by a brief announcement that he had disassociated himself and is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses.*** Watchtower 1981 Sept 15 p.20-26 Disfellowshiping?How to View It ***

  Did they determine because I was marrying someone of different faith, in a church that I became part of that organziation? (which I had not done, btw)

  On their own website (http://www.watchtower.org/library/rq/index.htm?article=article_10.htm) they list the practices God hates as being:

  fornication, lying, gambling, stealing, fits of anger, violence, magical spells and spiritism, drunkeness

  None of which they can claim I was guilty of!

  This has really got me thinking tonight. Does anyone here have a similar situation -that of being "disassociated by your actions" as determined by the elders? I'm just curious. I don't even really care, except for the fact that it has severed ties with one of my brothers.

  Thanks for any input!

  Nikita

  Of the can't sleep, 'cause I'm doing to much thinking class!
• 

  XQsThaiPoes

  It was the marriage in a chruch which they consider participating in a chruch service which is interfaith to the wt. I believe JWs can attend chruch weddings/furnerals but not have them. They can't DA you for getting married to a non jw. Oddly this is weird I notice when people date or marry a non jw the elders may begin to examine the person to find past transgressions that they never brought up before.

  Also DAing is excactly as it says meaning you are not a JW anymore. Technically they dont have grounds for shunning you but they will anyway. Heck some shun unbaptized publishers. I know since it is 89 you are not freshly wounded but I rather be DAed DFing is a made up term anyway and it implies guilt. DAing just means you are now a "worldy" person again.
• 

  Nikita

  Thanks for replying XQ's. Is there scripture to support the "consequences" (by that I mean "disassoication" or "disfellowshipping") of marrying of a non-believer within a church?

  Nikita
• 

  kls

  XQs. jws being able to attend weddings and funerals in a church? I have never seen it happen,my jw husband stood outside during his grandparents funeral that was performed in a church. Weddings ? when his/ my daughter was getting married in a church ,it was a fight for six months and he spent most of the time standing in the back room. It is such crap ,you can be any religion and my enter the godly walls of a hall ,but if you are a jw ,you must not enter a church or the demon's will get ya.
• 

  jgnat

  Such a policy is ridiculous, and causes untold heartache. I think the real reason the WTBTS abominates all other churches is because they don't want their members to shop around.

  I am in a weird mood, Nikita, so I hope you don't mind if I indulge in a bit of scripture-shopping.

  Revelation 18 (KJV) 1 And after these things I saw another angel come down from heaven, having great power; and the earth was lightened with his glory.
  2 And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird.
  3 For all nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth are waxed rich through the abundance of her delicacies.
  4 And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.

  "What is Babylon the Great"? Viewed collectively, all religions that advocate attitudes, beliefs or practices that have their roots in the religion of ancient Babylon make up Babylon the Great." from Survival into a New Earth, copyright 1984, chapter 11, paragraph 2.

  "If a person belongs to any part of Babylon the Great, shares in her celebrations or imitates her ways, who is thus honored? Certainly not Jehovah. Instead, such a person is, in effect, bowing before "the god of this system of things," the one who has blinded the minds of mankind. - 2 Corinthians 4:4." (para 8, same book)

  2 Corinthians 4 (KJV) 2 But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
  3 But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:
  4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.
  5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.
  6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
• 

  jgnat

  2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)
  Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
• 

  exjdub

  Nikita,

  Although I do not have a specific reference, XQ is right, getting married in a church (Babylon The Great) is grounds for getting DA'd, at least the last I knew. That is different to them than attending someone else's funeral or wedding in a church, those are conscience issues, for what it's worth.

  exjdub
• 

  robhic

  For what it's worth, maybe you can sorta justify things with this:

  In Deuteronomy 21:10-14, Israelite men could marry non-Israelite women.

  Deuteronomy

  21:10-14

  10

  "In case you go out to the battle against your enemies and Jehovah your God has given them into your hand and you have carried them away captive; 11 and you have seen among the captives a woman beautiful in form, and you have got attached to her and taken her for your wife, 12 you must then bring her into the midst of your house. She must now shave her head and attend to her nails, 13 and remove the mantle of her captivity from off her and dwell in your house and weep for her father and her mother a whole lunar month; and after that you should have relations with her, and you must take possession of her as your bride, and she must become your wife.

  Just tell them you were forced to wed in the other church after being taken captive. It may make a difference if there was no jehovah-sanctioned genocide and wanton slaughter of women and children in the name of the loving god, but you might pull this off. Of course you may have to shave your head and nails...

  Robert
• 

  Nikita

  Kls said:

  XQs. jws being able to attend weddings and funerals in a church? I have never seen it happen,my jw husband stood outside during his grandparents funeral that was performed in a church. Weddings ? when his/ my daughter was getting married in a church ,it was a fight for six months and he spent most of the time standing in the back room. It is such crap ,you can be any religion and my enter the godly walls of a hall ,but if you are a jw ,you must not enter a church or the demon's will get ya.

  This is my experience: When I married, both of my brothers did not come into the sanctuary for the service, but they were out in the foyer to greet us when we had our receiving line. But, when my Dad got remarried, they attended the wedding, because, I think, he was never a baptized witness. By not attending mine they could show their disapproval and hopefully "win" me back. By attending dad's they could show support and hopefully plant a seed. This is my take on things. Thanks for the reply and sharing your experience!

  Nikita
• 

  PinTail

  It is rather high minded of the witness's to say that unless you marry in a kingdom hall or under the direction of witness elders than your marriage is doomed.