Elders "disassociated" me-after I married non-JW (page 3)

Golf

Nikita, it has surprised me to learn that we have different standards across the country. It doesn't make for a happy family. Then again, what kind of familiy are the JW's? Ah yes, dysfunctional.

Guest 77

Poztate

It's just another way of telling us that we are permitted to have no 'joy' in our lives.

This is the real truth.It is not about "keeing the congregation clean" it's about sticking it to you in such a way that others are scared shitless to offend"mother" and will stay in line no matter how much garbage is directed at you.

Hi Talesin. POZ.

talesin

Hey, POZ!

Yes, and some of their methods are oh-so insidious. It's good to discuss them. I've found that since having convos like this, I see my family in a clearer light. The control is so real, and touches every area of their lives.

And as you said earlier, it affects us forever by placing the members of our families into different camps FOR LIFE. So sad ...

tal

Nikita

Thanks Poztate, talesin for your comments. Your'e right, Poztate, I'll always be a JW who has forsaken Jehovah in their eyes (even though I don't consider myself one of them.)

will stay in line no matter how much garbage is directed at you

When my brother Funchback was having his doubts, my other brother mentioned something about the fact that he has questions too, but that doesn't mean you "give up" (or as I perceived) and pursue those doubts. I know, in the bottom of his heart, he feels safe not knowing rather than risk his whole world be turned upside down.

It also allows them to feel that we are 'still a part of the family', since they are including us in the death rituals. Thereby, salving the collective consciousness that exists within the bOrg. After all, they do not abandon us in our time of need. Whatever!

I was amazed at the number of my former brothers/sisters came to my Mom's funeral! I know that they were there to support my brothers, but given that we had 2 ministers (of "Babylon the Great") leading the service, it sure amazed me!

Guest 77, you get an AMEN on that comment!

Nikita

HappyDad

My experience in this regard goes back to about 1990 or 1989 (I resigned sometime in 1990 as an elder).

A brother I had known for over 20 years and who was very active and always did thing for those less fortunate, one I was close to (or so I thought......remember this.........there are no true or real friendships in the org unless "mother" comes first .... reminds me of what we were always told about communism.....everybody, including family was watching everybody to turn them in at the first opportunity as an ememy of the state) and as much as I hate the thought......I would have probably turned him in for some percieved wrongdoing.

Anyhow...........he started to get more and more lax in his meeting attendance until finally he wasn't attending at all. Next we hear is that he got married to a Catholic girl and in a CHURCH! Well, you would have thought the body "spiritual policemen" were now the KGB the way they investigated the matter. Turns out he started coming to a few meetings and Memorial and clarifies that the wedding was a civil ceremony. Whether this was true or not, I don't know nor at the time did I care anymore. I haven't seen or heard from him in over 8 years now. But I was there when he made the statement to me and some others in the cong that for over 20 years he served Jehovah and Jehovah didn't see fit to give him a woman from the org.......but without even trying.........a woman was given to him from the world.

He is probably lucky that he didn't marry one from the org.......No offense to any of you wonderful ladies who were in the org! HappyDad

head-spins

Well, I came to this place to find out more about interfaith weddings and marrying a JW.Now, I've just read this thread and I'm a bit worried. I'm not JW, I'm not even a Christian. Yes, I'm the dreaded Pagan that JW's are striving to keep away from. But wait there's more....I have known the man I am to marry for over 20 years. I had a crush on him as a kid. In my early 20's and his late 20's, we dated, lived together and had 2 daughters, and got married. He was not a Christian at all then, he was an evil man.We were divorced 4 years after he went to prison; and (though still there) after 10 years, he began to see the light of God/Jehovah. He studied many denominations and found JW was most accurate. He was also raised that way as a child.While he was in prison ( and still is) I spent my life caring for my daughters with no help.I studied my own spirituality, and even though things would be easier if I could just go along with his beliefs, I cannot. When we find our path.. it kind of "clicks" like all the pieces of the puzzle ( of life) has come together. I cannot in good conscience change my beliefs, and even though he wants me to, he respects how I feel.

Does this mean something will happen to him if we get married? Ther are no interfaith weddings?? CAn someone tell me something encouraging?

Nikita

Welcome to the forum head-spins!

Is your husband to be a baptized JW? I have a feeling that his congregation/elders might take a different view on his marrying outside the faith. They may look at it as he is reconciling his realtionship with you and your family-which is "Jehovah" would want. Although, I don't think they would go for him marrying you in a church setting, they probably would go for it if it was in a neutral place.

But, then again, it seems that there are some variances depending on the elders in each congregation, which is why I started my thread-just to see what others experinces had been compared with my own. I know of a man who was a JW who married a Baptist-he was not counseled, in fact they were very happy for him. But, in my case, I got announced as having disassociated myself.

I wish you well.

Nikita

Country Girl

Not to hijack the thread.. but how do prisoners get baptized with full-water immersion if the prison doesn't have a swimming pool?

Country Girl

garybuss

The Witnesses say to go door to door to be like Jesus, be like Jesus to be a Christian. I told my dad years ago that if I were to be "like" Jesus, I would be a Jewish Rabbi and preach primarily to Jews. Paul preached from Synagog to Synagog as well. :-)

Witness people have a slightly hard time with equal application of principle:-)

Nikita

Witness people have a slightly hard time with equal application of principle:-)

Amen to that Gary!

Nikita

Elders "disassociated" me-after I married non-JW

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