JW Aging Parents/ Rest Homes

by 4JWY 18 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  4JWY

  For those of you with aging JW parents/friends, I would like to pose a question:

  If the time came when they would need to reside in a senior assisted living facility of some kind - would the JW belief regarding close association with "the world" keep them from moving in? The WTS does not provide any kind of JW home environment for the elderly/infirm and when folks have had their thinking controlled by the org and taught the DANGERS of "the world" for much of their lives, this can be an especially traumatic time.

  I know it sounds like taking the thought to the extreme but, in my case, my father told his Dr. that homes are full of "ungodly ones" and he would never reside among them. Not wanting me to ever have to push the issue on his behalf, he made the decision to end his life. How strongly do those you care for, or know - feel about this kind of "worldly" association?
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  ohiocowboy

  I guess it would depend on the person. Some would be fine with it, as it would allow them "Fresh Territory" to be able to spread God's Word, and have Bible Studies. In addition, if in a home, does not mean that they can never leave, unless of course they were totally bedridden, and would still be able to have Brothers and Sisters from the Cong. Visit, and pick them up for meetings, etc. I have visited rest homes, and they can be quite depressing, but once again, it would be the person's outlook, and what they could make of the situation. JW's are surrounded by "Ungodly People" in everyday life, so I don't see how it would be very much different.

  I am very sorry about your Father....
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  avishai

  One of the coolest, most spiritual (seriously) old pioneer sisters lived in a rest home. When i was little we went almost every other day to see her.

  Tell your dad, would Jesus have looked at it that way? Think of all the opportunities to witness!

  At least, that's what I would've said as a dub.

  Avishai of the will go quietly to a rest home when it is time class
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  talesin

  My parents have talked about this for many years. I always thought it was fear of elder abuse, but you have me wondering if they also fear 'spiritual endangerment'. I know that neither one of them feels they can depend on the 'friends' to care for them or about them, so this may be a very real concern that they have.

  I'm sorry that your father made that choice.

  They truly are a suicide cult in more ways than one.

  tal
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  4JWY

  Thank you ohiocowboy ~

  yes, especially with him the fresh territory should have been the draw ! Unfortunately with the negative views of the world reinforced constantly, it was very difficult to remain positive as a JW in old age (or any age for that matter! )

  During a suicidal attempt intervention one night -I tried to discuss this matter of old ones, homes, and the harm done to all JW's from the "dangers of the world" teachings, with dad's PO, and didn't get much thought out of him other than, "well, how old is he now? He probably won't live long anyway." The damage was already done by the cult's ingrained thoughts.

  I worked at the front desk of a home for a year and there were a couple of JW's living there, but they always appeared so guarded around the other residents and I always wondered how this aspect of the" world" was truly affecting their days.

  Appreciated your thoughts,

  4JWY
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  ohiocowboy

  I am absolutely sickened by what that P.O. said to you! It gets me how an organization that claims to be God's chosen people, can be so callous when it comes to one another's needs. They preach Love, too bad they don't practice it as they should....
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  4JWY

  .....tried to edit that last post to include you ~

  avishai,

  Yes, I was always drawn to the older ones too and got a kick out of lots of 'em. I shoulda just put a WWJD pin on him huh? Good idea for others for reinforcement oh - I'll be sure to visit you one day!

  tal,

  It is a combination of so many different fears and I know it's not unique to JW's, but that added fear factor- spiritual endangerment, has gotta play into it.. I heard about the "urine odor" factor too of course!

  All the best to you and yours if decisions ever need to be made in this regard - thank you for your thoughts-

  4JWY of the "it's almost 2:00 a.m. and I am sitting here class ?" Goodnight all.
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  Big Tex

  My father in law moved into an assisted living facility a few years before he died and loved it. (He had been an elder/congregation servant for 40 years, anointed, etc.; I only mention that as a frame of reference because of what your father said and in case you want to use it with him). Where Bill lived was clean, provided 3 meals a day, plus maid service and an alarm to call for help, which was good because he had heart disease. It was in no way anything approaching a nursing home, rather it looked and felt more like an apartment complex.

  The facility was maybe 50 or 60 yards from our house and he loved walking over and having lunch with us, or just popping in. He made a lot of friends and was in charge of several committees when he died. He loved it so much we held his memorial service there and he must have had 20 or 30 of his friends attend.

  I don't know what the current JW thinking is, although it wouldn't surprise me if they were against it. They seem to be against everything.

  Chris
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  cruzanheart

  4JWY, I am so sorry about your dad. I do wonder if you had the same P.O. we did, who completely brushed off my dad's depression, which led to his first suicide attempt. The second one was successful, in February 2003.

  My mother is in a nursing home, and has been since 2001. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember anything at all, but even in the earlier stages we noticed that she very happily participated in birthday and holiday celebrations, and attended the weekly church services. Even though I was at the time still attending meetings (but pretty disillusioned and almost out), I didn't care -- good grief, the poor thing deserved some fun! At one of the homes, though, the staff told me there was another JW woman whose husband instructed the staff to not let her participate in any of those pagan celebrations because he didn't want her to be "swayed."

  Idiots.

  Nina
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  4JWY

  Ohcowboy: Yes, that comment was one of many - and by this elder, a former DO/CO that for whatever reason, does have his housing needs met, living in a beautiful home in a lovely community and believe it or not, purchased by the WTS ? He must have had an "in" somewhere I guess.

  Big Tex: I'm glad you shared that good example for others to benefit from. Your f-i-l had a great arrangement being so close to you and I'm sure you hold the memories close. Sorry for your loss.

  I've never heard anything particularly against these living arrangements, it is an individual choice. If one has no other feasible alternatives and with the longevity these days, many others will face this issue. Unfortunately, the dissonance experienced can be especially deadly for the elderly.

  Nina ~ ((())) I feel your pain, I'm so sorry about your dad's death. Your mom's condition is a heartbreaker too and I wish for you the strength to deal with it. Isn't it so much of a relief to just ALLOW her to have a ball living out her last days? You will at least know that you are over the past judgemental ways of the org.

  As we know, elders don't have professional training in dealing with the depression brought on by the very lifestyle/belief system they cherish. Their form of "encouragement" was to read the scriptures and study more. At 3:00 a.m. one night, we sat there with this same elder at dad's house and listened to him read the scriptures and tell dad, "yes, it is a fight, we need to fight against Satan and the world ! Suicide is a SIN and a STENCH before Jehovah." I wish I would have called a local crisis hotline to "encourage" him instead.