"Missed you at the Meeting"

by Crooked Lumpy Vessel 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  How many times did you hear that before you were baptized? After?

  I got a little tired of it when someone called me and said that. This was the first sign of the control thing. "We are watching you". I always found myself making excuses like...I wasn't feeling good or my baby wasn't feeling good. I think some saw this as a sign of encouragement but later learned that this is how they get their gossip. Towards the end I got more bold and said, "yeah...I wasnt there". Dead silence. This sister just did not know what to say.

  This one particular gossipy sister called me once and said, "I missed you at the meeting" I said, "no you didnt--you never talk to me when I am there so how could you miss me?." It was a canned expression as far as I was concerned. She was taken back and apologized and I felt guilty for verbalizing my feelings. But she has nevered called me with the "canned expression".

  I found that once you were baptized everyone stood back and put you under their person spiritual microscope. At least that is how I felt. There was no more encouragement.
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  stichione

  I too only go to Sunday meetings and am an inactive JW. At every meeting I attend the same Elder comes to me and says the same old words:" It's tood to see you!". Argh!!!
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  EyeDrEvil

  This was the first sign of the control thing. "We are watching you".

  I agree with you 100%. Kind of creepy. Especially when you consider that IF they had an honest interest in you as a person, maybe they could frame their interest in you in a different context than "meeting attendance" or "field service." Such a narrow focus made me ill and very leary about my relationships at the Hall. Maybe that is why I never really fit in.

  EyeDrEvil
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  codeblue

  I have to agree with you. They "seem" like they want you to tell them "why" you weren't there.

  As a person that has relocated several times, I have witnessed this over and over and I have been raised in the truth(tm).

  If they really "missed you"...why haven't they called to see if you need some assistance, or even a coffee at Starbuck's???

  It really is a control issue otherwise their "love" would be in action to prove they missed you.

  Take care,

  Codeblue
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  Leolaia

  I used to hear that a LOT. It is definitely meant to mean "I noticed that you did not come today, I'd love to know what you could be doing that's better than Jehovah's service".
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  Maya

  Leo,,,,,,,,,you took my post right outta my fingers........

  and sometimes, just to screw with their head, I'd say "what are you talking about? I WAS there....I can't believe you didn't see me!"..........
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  Quotes

  It is definitely meant to mean "I noticed that you did not come today, I'd love to know what you could be doing that's better than Jehovah's service".

  I would like to see this definition added to the American English Hacker THEOCRATESE: http://jehovah.to/glossary/
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  iiz2cool

  There were many times when I'd miss a meeting but my wife would go. People would go up to her to ask about me. Usually these were people who wouldn't give me the time of day if I was there. Eventually she got tired of being interrogated about my whereabouts, so she'd say something like "Why are you asking me? If you were REALLY interested you would phone him." Of course, no one ever did. They had no interest in me or anyone else other than to find something to gossip about.

  Walter
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  4JWY

  Yes, this comment is the classic of all classics!

  There's almost nothing I hated more than receiving one of those 'put up to' phone calls. This old pioneer sister called, checking on me, and told me how it was her one day of the week that she sets aside to call everyone who wasn't at a meeting! Then she proceeds to say a prayer on my behalf over the phone lines! I never gave any reason to anybody either. So fake.
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  talesin

  I have heard this old saw far too many times over the years. "They miss you", "so-and-so was asking about you, they still miss you".

  Someone said "I miss you" to me just a few weeks ago when I bumped into them. I replied that if they really missed me, they could have called my parents and got my phone number anytime.

  talesin