Were You Ever Hauled Into The Library By The Elders...

by exjdub 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  exjdub

  For something really stupid, or for something you didn't do?

  Since joining the JWD board I have had a lot of deep, deep, memories pop back into my head. Sometimes they are memories that are not very enjoyable...and sometimes those memories make me laugh out loud. Well...for whatever reason, one of the funny memories popped into my head this morning after reading the post about the Green Bible Dinosaur (I also drew a skateboard underneath the little bugger).

  I was 20 years old and I had been dating my wife for a few months at that point. We were at a circuit assembly in the Natick, MA assembly hall, bored stiff, listening to another boring talk in the afternoon session after the lunch break. I started "cutting up", as is still my habit when I am bored, trying to make my better half laugh. So I grabbed my pink songbook, opened the front cover, and drew a big smiling fat man, with his shirt riding half way up his belly, and then drew his belly button (hey, I never said I was mature...just bored). So after giggling and snickering for a few minutes, we had to get serious and listen before the attendant came over to talk to us, and I put the songbook away.

  A year later, a couple of elders approached me and asked to speak to me in the library. Of course I was scared to death because they had the "you are in big trouble" faces on. I felt sick, but into the library I went. One of the elders hands me my pink songbook, which I had lost, and demands an explanation for my drawing. I was so embarassed... but I explained the whole fat man concept to them. They were not amused. I could understand why they didn't like drawings in the songbook, but I couldn't understand why they were so angry, until one of the elders points to the drawing of the belly button and says: "What is THAT!" Again, in an embarassed tone, I said: "A belly button". He said: "It is NOT...it's a PENIS!"

  It finally became clear why they were so mad, but by that time I was so relieved and also so amused about what they thought my drawing was, that I got the giggles. It was hard enough to sit there and explain an immature drawing in the first place, but to try and argue the belly button vs. the penis? That made them even madder and one of them said: "It's not funny, this is very serious"! After quite a long time of them trying to implicate me for drawing a penis, and me insisting that it was not, they finally gave up. I don't think they ever did believe me. They wanted to nail me to the wall. I would have been the first JW to be disfellowshipped for a drawing of a belly button! What would that fall under, loose conduct???? Anyway...

  Were you ever hauled into the library for something completely ridiculous??? If so...what for?

  exjdub (*of the I can't explain why these crazy things are popping into my head class*)
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  FMZ

  Not by an elder, but by a crazed neurotic mother. I was organizing a trip out to the cinema with a number of witness buddies, and was inviting all the young people. There was one girl who was rather quiet, as her mother was very possessive...... (for want of a better word). Well, I decided I would do the right thing in "agape", and ask her if she wanted to come along. I was extremely careful to make sure she realized this was not a date, just a "get together".

  Well, that was on Tuesday. Thursday night, this flaming mad midget of a mother came to me after the meeting and pulled me in the back room. She was beet red, and boy did she start shouting... "You aren't old enough to be dating!" etc... Man she was a freaking psycho. After she was done, I humbly told the biznatch that I had invited a lot of young brothers and sisters. This pissed her off (that I disagreed) and off she went again. I ended up just walking out.

  I hope and pray her daughter realizes the truth about the Troof and gets out of there, the poor girl.

  FMZ
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  iiz2cool

  DAMN! I never realized that elders were professional art critics!

  I have to feel sorry for an elder that would mistake a belly button for a penis. If my penis resembled a belly button I'd probably feel bad too. Perhaps we should forward them some penis enlargement spam emails.

  I wonder if they found your drawing stimulating? Did they at least give you back your songbook?

  I was counselled for many things, like biting my nails, having a moustache, wearing bright ties, etc. But your experience takes the cake!

  Walter
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  exjdub

  I have to feel sorry for an elder that would mistake a belly button for a penis.

  Walter, I thought the same thing too, but apparently, when they looked at it straight on it they saw a penis. I also thought at the time that it showed where their minds were at because you had to stretch your imagination to come up with a penis...perverts...

  Did they at least give you back your songbook?

  Well...as you might imagine, I wanted as much distance between me and that songbook. They did give it back, but I chucked it in the trash real quick. I do have to say, though, that it did cure me of drawing in the publications because I never did it again.

  exjdub
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  dorothy

  Oh my God exjdub, that is the funniest thing I have ever read here!!!!!!!!!!!!

  It was also a great inspiration. When I go to the assembly this year some of the old ladies that use their songbooks to save seats are going to get a HUGE surprise when they open their books. Penises for all!
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  New Castles

  When I worked at the bank on Friday nights we worked till 7pm. The kingdom hall was about 35 minutes away from where i worked. One week we had to switch the meeting to Friday night and I arrived barely on time, without a tie. I thought it was more important to arrive without a tie than to not arrive at all. The elders met with me in the back and I was counseled as to why I did not have a tie on. I was later told to keep one in the car, just in case it would happen again!!
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  Amazing1914

  I was hauled in for scolding a sister over artwork she did on the kingdom hall decorations. She and I and one other sister were tasked with designing the year text. We decided upon using the look of an ancient scroll. We decided to balance it out with a scroll showing the tetragrammaton ... the two scrolls were displayed on each side of the front wall next to the platform.

  Unfortunately, one of the hebrew characters in the tetragrammaton was slightly too short. A brother well versed in trivia noticed the problem and pointed it out to me. I was amused and went to tell the sister who painted the scroll. She and I laughed and she promised to come in the next day and make the correction. No yelling or scolding ... just laughing.

  The elder making the allegation lied. But, I was not allowed to know at the time who made the allegation. I politely denied it and went and got the sister, who backed me up and said that we laughed and that there was no scolding. I again asked the name of the person making the allegation so I could confront him/her. Again I was told that was not important. On the ground that I was "insisting" on knowing the name of the accuser, I was denied a recommendation to eldership.

  Years later, after I became an elder, I learned the name of the accuser ... and also learned that it was a set-up to see how I would handle a situation, and whether I was qualified to be an elder. I was shocked at the childish actions of the elders who pulled the stunt ... but they were all gone to other congregations, except the one who lied ... he was no longer an elder and eventually ended up facing me on a JC. He was accused by his wife of smoking. Oddly enough, he was also one of the men who I reported his child molesting acts.
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  exjdub

  some of the old ladies that use their songbooks to save seats are going to get a HUGE surprise when they open their books. Penises for all!

  dorothy,

  Sounds like a plan! They might even enjoy it. By the way, I meant to make a strong recommendation...if you are going to draw in a publication, it might be a good idea to not put your name in it. Take it from me, it saves a lot of humiliation!

  I thought it was more important to arrive without a tie than to not arrive at all.

  New Castles,

  Ahhh! the old missing tie counsel. I guess you really listened to their beneficial counsel because it was more important to them to have the tie instead of the meeting. And here you are on the JWD board without a tie! LOL!

  exjdub
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  ozziepost

  Strange isn't it that the elders have the same methods around the world. Summoning people into a back room at the KH in view of the congregation seems to be the modern version of pilloring.

  Ozzie
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  exjdub

  Strange isn't it that the elders have the same methods around the world.

  Ozzie,

  Isn't it heartwarming to see the united bond of true worship Gestapo tactics? This loving arrangement proves that they have the "Troof." Library=Trouble in any country!

  exjdub