situation,Hello everyone

by vampmonk 27 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  ms.mjg

  Hi Vamp,

  I also came to this forum looking for info and insight into my relationship with someone who is a JW. At first the information given to you will seem harsh, blunt and unfitted to the object of your affection. And for the most part it may not apply to the person that you are interested in. But you are a teen and Im to assume that she is as well, and that means that not only does she have to deal with her religious conditioning as it relates to interpersonal relationships, but also her parents and they may still at this point be her main concern.

  You are a young man, and I have this much to say in terms of your relationship with God, you should have one. I dont mean that as to pass judgement, however if you are willing to go into a KH and consider making that kind of long term/ extreme commitment for a , you should at least consider doing some soul searching for yourself.

  Listen with discretion to what the folks here have to say, I see that they are being a little more delicate with you than they were with me, not nearly as many bold typed RUN messages, but consider that all of the information may be true. Most importantly you are a youth, there will be many more issues to deal with and they will all seem just as important as this one.

  Start being wise today!
• 

  bebu

  Teenage love is a crappy thing. Everybody told me it was infactuation also and it wasn't real. Ya right... it's real enough for me. And I bet it is for you too. Talk to her that's all I gotta say.

  Yes, it is real and strong in many ways. There are plenty of folks who do marry their high-school sweethearts, so teenage love CAN truly cement into something permanent.

  I personally do not disparage putting God first in a relationship--in my case, doing this has helped filter my words and actions for the better toward my spouse, and greatly strengthened my marriage. The trouble is putting a "man-made ORGANIZATION that considers themselves as God" first in your relationship... what business do they have there???? And that will always be the struggle your sweetheart will be dealing with if she is a believing JW--between you, and the Watchtower Society.

  I think it would be good to help her out of the organization, if you can. Why not, if she will listen to you?--and if you take the part of someone who is genuinely interested in hearing whether there are decent answers to the conundrums you uncover?

  bebu
• 

  xLaurax

  To be honest the girl sounds as though she is not strongly in the Jw faith seen as though she has already dated others outside the faith and you have obviously been made welcone in her home. I think that these are good signs and that you should go for it.

  It depends where you are as to how strict the Jw's really are. I come on here and read some absolutely awful stories that i have never seen happen over here. In England the Jw's seem to be so much more leniant. she's shown that she's interested in you and there has been no protest so far either from her or her parents so why not give it a go!!

  xLaurax
• 

  gespro

  VAMP!

  Welcome to the JWD Board!!!

  Please take to heart what I'm going to relate to you but please don't be offended. I have experience with life to a certain extent and do know some things. Hell I even got kids older than you BUT believe it or not, I was 16 once...and it almost seems like I had more on the ball at 16 than I do at 45.

  There seems to be two ways of explaining what you're in for: Long version and the short.

  I left home when I 16 and again for good when I was 17, by the time I turned 18, I was married to someone outside of the Borg who was basically a drunken party girl. I was NOT developed enough as a person and my lack of wisdom/experience caused a poor choice of a mate but I felt sorry for her and thought I could help her- she was the first woman I was ever with. I should have been helping myself instead of putting a dead weight on my shoulders. She was pregnant and I married her and got her into the Borg. This is the begining of my woes and there isn't enough space to tell her the details of the hardline I towed and still pay for tothis very day...

  so here is the short story:

  I was young and full of energy and ideals. I was born and raised in the cult. My quick explanation to you would be to RUN! GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE! I'M NOT KIDDING! IF YOU'RE WISE YOU WILL RUN AND NOT TURN BACK! RUN LIKE THE WIND! RUN LIKE THERE IS A PACK OF WILD DOGS ON YOUR ASS ABOUT TO RIP YOU TO SHREDS! DO YOU HEAR ME???????? IT'S NOT WORTH THE MANY PAINS THERE ARE IN STORE FOR YOU...

  You've been warned...

  sincerely and with all due respect,

  gespro
• 

  wasasister

  but religion aside,

  That's just it. To a "real" Jehovah's Witness, their religion will never be "aside".

  I'm sorry to be so blunt, but both of you stand to get hurt. She'll probably suffer more than you...just the way thest things work out.

  Edited to add:

  A few more things not mentioned in previous posts...If your girlfriend and her parents really believe the JW religion, they want to save your life and the only way your life can be saved is by converting. Otherwise, you will die at Armageddon and your wife will be left a widow. Ask her or her parents if this is true.

  Be honest with her. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you never EVER intend on becoming one of Jehovah's Witnesses and ask her if that is OK with her.

  If she stays in the religion, it will be the basis for all other decisions made in your life - who your friends will be, what movies you will watch, how many children you will have, where you live, and what car you drive.

  If she leaves the religion, she may well resent you for taking her away from her family and friends. Relationships based on "I can change her/him" almost never work. The one who changes eventually hates the one who changes them, even if the changes are for their own good.

  Wasa - knows whereof she speaks
• 

  Nathan Natas

  Hi VampMonk,

  I noticed you said you wanted "to be in a relationship with her." What does that mean? Hold hands? Kiss? Exchange oral favors? Have her baby?

  Look, this is your very first "special girl." She will always have a place in your memory, but trust me, the next "special girl" will be even better, especially if she isn't a Dub.

  As Nosferatu already suggested, she has a big invisible boyfriend named Jehovah, and he is going to kick your butt real soon! (She thinks -- her "boyfriend Jehovah" is imaginary, but ther delusion is not.)

  You need Leykis 101, my friend.

  You might also find this amusing: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/9941/index.html -- an extensive history of the end of the world. You see, the world has always been going to end "any day now," but it has never actually ended. Lots of kooks to read about.

  You deserve better than her. Really.

  Fortunately for you, there is a really cool atheist girl who will be in one of your college classes, and she has been hoping to meet someone like you for a long time. Let her find you. Don't screw up your life at 16.
• 

  vampmonk

  and thus i choose not to follow my obvious childish infatuations. it seems that every

  it seems it is a common belief everyone including my friends that i do not know what i want, ergo, i give up. i do not care what anyone else has to say, im truly fed up. now i rid myself of these pitifull human emotions for good. i've had enuf trying to look for the illusions of love and its scary realisations, i am quite obviously not meant to function like the rest of the lemming teenage society and have no place amongst them. im too different and will never be accepted by society it seems. if this "god" does exist, he's made a pretty bang up job of making my place as disjointed as possible. thank u "god" for being the one person bent on making my life somewhat miserable.

  undoubtly replies would say me too young and naive to understand anything, well from what little i understand, im pretty p!$$ scared of finding out the rest. this world is a horrible place that filters the weak and misunderstood from an ideal utopic state that is shared by the rest of humanity. i, unfortunately, just happen to be one of those people that does not "fit in". thus i swear, after having completed my studies, i will be on the first trip to a tibetan monastery to live a life of solitude and silence (bout the same it was going to end up anyway).

  I'm sorry to say that even you people have brought untold discomfort to my already unstable mindset, i apologise truly if this does offend but too often i have been told "the truth hurts", and boy does it.

  I thank u all for sheding some light on the situation, I am indeed grateful.

  and with that i bid u all farewell and good luck.

  Sincerely, VampMonk.
• 

  avishai

  im too different and will never be accepted by society it seems

  i, unfortunately, just happen to be one of those people that does not "fit in".

  Thank GOD!!! Or whomever. Wear it like a badge of honor. Being ordinary, status quo, etc., is no fun and won't get you anywhere!