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joelbear

I've been thinking a lot about this board and the people here over the past few days.

As most of you know, I got pretty pouty and threw a couple of fits over what I saw as being a wrong direction for the board. I claimed doom was near, etc. etc. etc.

I have come to think that this board is very real. We get mad, we scream, we yell, we discuss, we reach out, in a nutshell, we do all the things we weren't allowed to do under the construct of the society where we all had to grit our teeth and just smile at each other.

I, of anybody, should see the uselessness of pretending to be nice, burying anger, etc. What good did all that do me when I finally decided to be and think for myself? Zippo. Every friend, every family member turned on me and threw me out of their lives.

We see the reality of each other here and yet here we are continueing to associate with each other. It dawns on me, that that is what caring and friendship are about.

Anger frightens me. I was a scared little kid who grew up into a scared adult. I think that is what came out in me when the angry posts started here.

In the end, I am thankful for this board and for being able to be me, warts and all.

hugs

Joel
www.joelbear.com

DB

Hi Joel. I guess that what you are referring to is the condtional love that seems to permeate the JW faith. It is indeed very readily apparent. 'Think like we do, and we will love you. Do as we do, and we will love you'.

Unfortunately, in many human relationships, not just JW relationships, the same thinking is apparent. When people think like we do, we tend to embrace them. If not, we tend to distance ourselves from them. I think that's sad.

waiting

hey joel,

, I got pretty pouty and threw a couple of fits over what I saw as being a wrong direction for the board. I claimed doom was near, etc. etc. etc.

It's been known to happen to the best & worst of us - trust me on that one.

Welcome to the family...........

waiting

Simon

I've often felt that 'doom was near' ... usually just before I do a software update

I'm glad you find the forum useful joelbear - it is nice getting to know so many different people and yes, we're all just regular people so we fall out make up laugh, share & cry.

Like you, most of the people I grew up thinking of as 'friends' weren't really and turned on us when they were told to. Not all, but most. The ones that didn't we've intentionally kept away from so that we don't cause trouble for them.

DannyBear

Joel,

You are definitely not a "scared adult", I cannot imagine the fears you must have had before revealing your sexual preference. Your webpage is proof of your courage.

I like you Joel, not that that is particularly important, but I have no other way to say it. You are a man who has definite opinions, but you don't cram them down our throats.

As far as Iam concerned you set an example for all males on this board. You know my feelings on homosexuality. I say you set an example any man, aspiring to be manly, would do well to follow.

Glad to have made your aquaintance.

Danny

Bendrr

Hey Joel!
The internet is the first ammendment in action worldwide. What other outlet do any of us have in our life to be 100 percent honest and open with every thought in our minds and still have the security of anonymity and isolation?
While that security sure does bring some strange, unpleasant, and sometimes downright evil thoughts into public, it also brings total strangers closer together.
We have to be mature enough and open minded enough to tolerate the fact that someone is going to say things we don't like in order to get to the good aspects of this board and indeed the good aspects of life otherwise the internet's arena of free speech and thought is doomed.
It would come as no suprise if we learned that the most aggressive on this board were very quiet and subdued in person. I'm sure people have said things on this board in anger, in humor, in flirtation, that they would never in a million years say to a co-worker, friend, or spouse.
You're not a scared little kid in the way you put it, buddy. If you're not scared, you're not alive. But let me say this. Life is much more enjoyable when you decide not to let what people say bother you and if it does not to give them the satisfaction of seeing it bother you. Sure you'll still have occasion to get pissed off, what's life without that? Sometimes it's best to rise above a situation and walk away. In fact most of the time that's the best answer. In the heat of the moment we don't really think about the other person, we just see how so-and-so is a total asshole and what they had to say becomes the worst possible insult we've had since just after lunchtime.
I'd bet that many a member has woke up the next morning and thought about a post made in anger and regretted it. Thought about how it could have been worded differently.
Well, Joel, the day arguments and flame wars end is the day the internet truly becomes boring.
Sounds like you're not leaving or anything and I'm glad cause you seem pretty cool.
mike.

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed,

Bendrr

ok, I just couldn't resist this follow up.
Danny, please don't use phrases about cramming things down our throats in the same paragraph as references to homosexuality.
(snickering) just had to be at the HEAD of the line to make this thread suggestive. the opportunity was just STICKING OUT THERE.
better stop before this joke gets too LONG.
mike.

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed,

Kent

Hi Joel

Anger frightens me. I was a scared little kid who grew up into a scared adult. I think that is what came out in me when the angry posts started here.

Relax, Joel. The angry posts are in reality healthy. You will learn who is your real friends, and who are the real shit-heads. Some people care, and some people just try to play god.

We humans are just like that. Some of us try to help, try to offer our sympathy, try to do what we can. Others try to LOOK nice, are the ones "fighting" for themselves, to show how fantastic they are.

Be assured of one thing. Words never hurted anyone! This might seem like crap - but it's true. Words are nothing - words are just what you allow them to be!

If you decide that "this word" is bad, and theis word is good, you're in deep shit. Words aint bad - people are bad - not words.

Angry words doesn't exist. Angry people exist. Idiots exist, idiotic words is an invention by idiots! There is no reason for being scared, my friend. Just believe in yourself, and be aware that you are special. No matter what others are saying, you're special. Be sure you dare to be yourself - and the rest will go on tracks!

Yakki Da

Kent

"The only difference between God and Adolf Hitler is that God is more proficient at genocide."

Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
http://watchtower.observer.org

Amazing

Excellent post Joel. Yes, we are all continuing to develop normal relationships on this board. Normal relationships allow for anger without assuming that it is all or nothing, black or white, good or bad, loyal or disloyal to the Big-O. Rather, we can be human, and after debate, sometimes heated arguments, we can smaile and still be friends and be the better for it. Freedom may have a price, but what we have it worth every last cent we pay to be truly free. As Martin Luther King said, Free at Last! Free at Last!, Oh thank God we are Free at Last!!! - Amazing

slipnslidemaster

Oh Joel.........((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Slipnslidemaster: "Men have become the tools of their tools."
- Henry David Thoreau

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