I'm not excessively tall at just over 6 feet. However, I must have been first in line when God was dishing out hands, feet and heads.
To date it hasn't been much of a problem except when I have to travel 25 miles to the nearest shoe shop to get a size 14 (UK). Even then, the width I require does limit my final choice considerably.
Well, now things have changed. This is due to my spending a few days in hospital, when I was diagnosed with an erratic heartbeat caused by a leaky mitral valve.
To keep the rhythm stable, I have been prescribed Amiodarone which limits the hearts electrical impulses so that the beat remains constant.
Because the formerly erratic heart beat can leave blood clots in it's wake, I have also been prescribed an anti-coagulent, Warfarin, to prevent a possible stroke.
Great stuff! No side effects at all, it seemed. I'm back at work zooming up an down ladders with boundless energy. Excellent!
But.....
The Amiodarone can be problematical because it reduces the skins tolerance to sunlight. So, the answer is to get a wide-brimmed hat to wear when the sun is really hot. I shall get a Panama hat!
The Warfarin means that I can bleed for hours if I cut myself. What if I'm in a car prang and unconcious though? I need to get a medical alert so that paramedics will know to give me a pro-coagulent. I know, I shall get a medical alert bracelet!
Hmm..
First, measure my bonce. Wow, 63 centimetres, that's about 7 and 7/8 in old Imperial.
Next, measure my wrists. Almost 9 inches. So that's why I can never get a watch to fit!
Now scouring the net, Google UK. Hatters! All sizes Panama hats, 57 centimetres to 62 centimetres.
62? I need 63 minimum!
Lets go for a medical alert bracelet, come back to hats later. Hum..all sizes up to 8 and one half inch!
Damn.
OK, lets go try High and Mighty in Bristol. No customer too large. No hats though. Big men don't wear hats. Really?
Back to the medical alert bracelet. Yes, I can have one especially made to order. Great!
Er, just a minute sir, we can make you a solid silver ID bracelet, but you'll have to have it engraved, we also can't duplicate the medi-alert symbol of the snake around the staff.
Doh!
I am sure that I shall resolve the situation if I persevere.
Until that time, anyone hearing reports of a large Englishman teetering about up a ladder wearing a folded newspaper on his head and and a suitcase label attached to his wrist should not be overly concerned.
Englishman.