The anguish and the agony of having to renounce the lifelong 
convictions of one's heart.The surreal horror to know that it was all a lie!
For the 33 years that I was a J-ho,the central theme of discussion among active Jehovah's Witnesses was their inescapable mortality.Here i am 47 years old and the onset and onrush of middle-age can be overwhelming and devastating.
When they die they don't go to heaven.
Many like myself,squandered our youth for the Watchtower.Years of are vital prime spent in the Borg are gone now forever.
GROWING OLD IN THE WATCHTOWER'S "SPIRITUAL PARADISE"
Here it is friends in the year 2004.We are well into the 21st century.How are you coping?When i was conceived in 1956,my pioneer parents were reviled by the 'friends' for getting 'knocked up'.The end of this deplorable ole wicked world,was so close how dare they!The JW missionary's,from old Bridgewater Mass.USA .Who recruited my clan,also knocked themselves up with a beautiful baby girl.For this they never forgave themselves and were guilt ridden for life.That pioneer couple have turned to dust by now,I'm sure.
Roy A. from the Wilmot Flat New Hampshire USA cong.,had heard a"judge" Rutherford sound truck booming along the road ca.1930'sh and responded to the 'ring of truth'.Roy pioneered to the extent that he had literally spoken to every single family member in his vast territory.
Last I saw him in 1982 he was suffering from multiple disability's due to old age.He was so frugal, to budget his meager pension,EVERYTHING, for his full time pioneering.Rest in peace
,Roy good buddy. 
The same goes for four generations of my family.We SQUANDERED our youthful vitality for a deceptive and demonic cult.
MILLIONS of victims of a conniving cult of greed.Many have No retirement plan or savings to support them.No pension or social security, some are even rendered HOMELESS in the "spiritual paradise"
What will happen to the Watchtower?BE WARNED WHEN THE JUDGMENT COMES, IT WILL START WITH THE HOUSE OF GOD!
Watchtower Whistle Blower www.DannyHaszard.com
The Surreal JW Horror show our agony and anguish
by Undaunted Danny 40 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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Undaunted Danny
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Leolaia
Danny...You really have a talent for telling it like it is. I know that through your website and posts you are helping more ppl than you ever will know. Keep up the good work.
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logansrun
Danny, I'm being cruel to be kind but I think your antics do more harm than good. When I was a doubting JW I sought reasonable, balanced and less emotionally charged information than you provide. I dare say that is what most thinking JWs want.
You seem quite fixated on hate.
Bradley....(duks)
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exjdub
Danny,
Well said...
Logansrun,
I guess sometimes I have thought that Danny's methods were a little too passionate for me, until I realized that I have said some of the same things, just not as openly as Danny has. One thing about him is he tells it like and I respect him for that. I think that different people react to different things and I am sure there are those that have responded to his message. Peace Danny...keep up the good work.
exjdub
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kls
And that is the truth. As usual Danny tell's like it is.
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logansrun
It's a paranoid organization and we only play into their hands if we act paranoid ourselves. I stand by what I say.
B.
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Cicatrix
"When i was conceived in 1956,my pioneer parents were reviled by the 'friends' for getting 'knocked up'."
Nothing much has changed over the years, Danny. When I unintentionally got pregnant with our last son, a pioneer sister felt it was her duty to come and chastise me for it-and I wasn't even a pioneer. There I was, suffering horribly from morning sickness, wondering how I was going to find the energy to care for another baby when I still had one nursing and in diapers, and she was lecturing me about how she didn't understand why "the friends" didn't take the advice of the Governing Body to delay having kids. She actually asked me if I knew what birth control was and how to use it!
Well, life sometimes has a funny way of evening up the odds. She got pregnant herself a few months later, despite birth control and her intention to fully obey the Governing Body, lol. She did have the decency to apologise for the things she said to me.
As far as the retirement issue, I hear you there. I wasted my time helping to run a business that was running in the red when we bought it, made a profit for one year out of ten, then subsequently sucked us dry. I wanted to go to school right after high school (was offered a full scholarship), but the WTS mandate on that was not favorable for so long, and I wanted to "please Jehovah" so much, I didn't go.
The conflict was terrible, though, and I finally broke down and enrolled in college in my thirties. I thought things would get better, as the society had started to have a different view of higher education. But it turned out that our congregation didn't. I had tons of negative pressure from the "friends" and from my husband, who assumed I was going to college so I could divorce him (somehow he was able to not even think about the fact that we were going broke-probably because he had made me the treasurer of the business, and told me he was "too busy" to be concerned with the monetary issues. Add that to the fact that I was still working full time, taking care of five kids, and getting them to as many meetings as I could ( I missed a lot of them), and voila! You have a recipe for a breakdown. Something had to give before I did, so I quit school.I quit six freaking weeks before the end of the semester. I was getting all As! Somehow, having the "friends" and my husband console me just didn't make it better-it made me angry.It also made me start thinking, and pulling away from the WTS control.
I ended up going back to school about a year later. This time, I ignored the "friends" and endured my husband telling me almost every morning that I was just going to school to "meet guys".A year after returning to school, I disassociated myself.Then the business finally went belly up for good, and I was able to concentrate totally on school.
My husband has a much better job now, back at a plant where he worked before we bought the business, and he has excellent retirement benefits (he could be retired by now if he would've stayed in this job instead of quitting to run the family business). But he will have to work until he's about seventy to save even a minimum retirement now, and I will have to work too. Plus, we have four boys to educate yet. I'm still a few years away from a degree. I won't be in a well-paying career until I am over forty. But still, things are much brighter than they would be if I were still a Witness, waiting for "permission" from the elders to be able to move where we could find work to support us (that's something that always urked me-that you were supposed to get the approval of the elders before you moved, and you had to be "in good standing" to get their permission. We didn't notify them one time-just up and moved, and I had to put up with a lecture for my "transgression".The stupid thing was, my husband wasn't a baptised publisher, he was just studying, and he's the one who wanted to move, not me. And I didn't even see the control then. Geez, was I blind or what). -
Leolaia
logansrun....I understand your perspective because I know I would not have responded either. I would in fact have been turned off by such protesters. But....not everyone is like you and me. I am just as certain that some Witnesses already experiencing some of the things that Danny describes will see the clarity of the rest of their lives in such focus because Danny tells it like it is. It's the equivalent of having the truth smack you upside the head. Danny is speaking emotionally....duh....because he had personally been screwed big time by the WT, and he's pissed off about it. It's anger towards the organization, not hate towards ordinary Witnesses, that he's expressing. He has every right to feel the way he does and it's his story he's telling, so I beg to differ with your dismissal of the way he tells his story as mere "antics"...
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Country Girl
Bradley:
Sometimes people just say things different ways. It not anything, Danny's way of communicating his anger and rage at the JW's, his militant manner, gets attention. While I think that's neither here nor there, it's a bona fide fact that sometimes militancy is what it takes. Other people, it takes more of a subtle touch, and there are those here that do that, too. People respond to different things.. sometimes it takes a hardnose line, and sometimes more of a analytical line, which I think YOU are good at! Everyone has their own way, and we shouldn't come down hard on those that really feel it, and really want to express that rage and get people out. I think it's great! Danny's more brave than *I* would ever be, carrying around that trailer, making signs, all that stuff. He's brave, when you really think about it! Sure, some people might think he's nuts.. but he just tells it like it is and he's courageous and truthful.
Screw the JW's, what they think about him. Who cares? Are they responsible for his salvation? No. He doesn't care, either. He just is another voice in the crowd that wants to be heard. They can ignore HIM.. but if they have a doubting bone in their body, at least he's there.. out there.... and maybe they will listen. Who knows?
Country Girl
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exjdub
But....not everyone is like you and me. I am just as certain that some Witnesses already experiencing some of the things that Danny describes will see the clarity of the rest of their lives in such focus because Danny tells it like it is.
Exactly, Leolaia. I thought that nothing would seperate me from the "Truth" until they turned on me...then I understood why so many people had left, never to come back. Danny is reaching people, no doubt about it. There are those that understand that anger quite well and will respond.
It's anger towards the organization, not hate towards ordinary Witnesses, that he's expressing. He has every right to feel the way he does and it's his story he's telling, so I beg to differ with your dismissal of the way he tells his story as mere "antics"...
Right on.
exjdub