Can anyone help me? Loved one being torn away

heart broken

I am not going to divulge any names or contact details as I do not what this being taken much further.

I will cut to the chase, I have fallen in love with a jehova's witness. I am not a Jehova's Witness... can you see where this is going? I have been told that her being in love with me is strictly against JW "policy"... Now, I have been scowering the net for days now, becomming increasingly insomniate and I have to admit, I have found NOTHING to support this warning. What I DID find tho were the following quotes which I found quite supportive to my cause:

God has committed judgment into Jesus' hands, not ours.?Matthew 7:1-5; John 5:22, 27

and

Marriage mates with different religions are encouraged to treat each other with tolerance and respect. Children should be given the opportunity to learn about the religious views of both parents.?1 Corinthians 7:12-14.

Now, we are not quite ready to get married just yet! lol... but surely this could help us?

The trouble is, I am not prepared to become a JW, however, I DO NOT want her to disassociate herself the JW's as she has no reason to... I am not anti-religion in anyway, I would love for her to remain a JW because it makes her happy...What I want to know, is how can I convince the doubters that this relationship could work? Please, I am asking you, being on the verge of having my heartbroken, to help me...

thank you all

Crazy151drinker

Mr Heart,

There are numerous threads on this site that will give you the answers that you seek. I however, being the cruel evil person that I am will simplify it.

GET A NEW ONE.

DanTheMan

how can I convince the doubters that this relationship could work?

The JW's in her life will never ever condone the relationship. Never. This will be a constant source of stress for you and her, as no matter how good of a guy you may be, to them you are "worldly" - a follower of Satan who is in line for destruction at Armageddon.

outoftheorg

VERY FEW MARRIAGES WHERE ONE IS A JW AND THE OTHER IS NOT, ARE HAPPY.

THE JW DOCTRINE ALL BUT PREVENT MARRIAGE WITH A NON BELIEVER. THE NON BELIEVING SPOUSE IS LOOKED DOWN ON AND AS A POSSIBLE THREAT TO THE BELIEVERS SPIRITUALITY.

IF YOU AND YOUR WIFE HAVE PROBLEMS IT IS COMMON TO FIND YOUR WIFE IS GOING TO TAKE THE ELDERS DIRECTIONS AND NOT YOURS.

SHE IS TAUGHT TO BELIEVE THEY ARE SUPERIOR SINCE THEY ARE GUIDED DIRECTLY BY THE HOLY SPIRIT.

THE RELIGIOUS LEADERS "ELDERS" FEEL THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO CHASTIZE COUPLES REGARDING THEIR SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR AND ANY OTHER ISSUE THAT COMES UP IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

IF YOU DO NOT GO ALONG WITH THEIR DEMANDS, THEY WILL TELL YOUR WIFE THAT DIVORCE IS ACCEPTABLE IF THERE IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU WILL CAUSE YOUR WIFE TO CHANGE HER BELIEFS.

REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU HAVE READ OR BEEN TOLD, THEY WILL PRESSURE BOTH YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN TO BECOME MEMBERS OF THE RELIGION.

THIS PRESSURE WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU MAINLY THROUGH YOUR WIFE. IMAGINE THE STRESS THIS PUTS ON HER AND YOU AND THE MARRIAGE.

MY ADVICE? RUN MAN. RUN LIKE HELL.

Outoftheorg

ohiocowboy

Hello! Sorry for your dilemma....

You will find a lot of topics here regarding this issue, as there have been a lot of people wondering the same thing. To be honest, all posts and replies point to the same direction. It would be very tough to have a relationship with someone who is in the Organization. They are taught to be free from the world, and those in it. By not being one of Jehovah's Witnesses, you would be considered part of the "World". If she decided to be in a relationship with you, there would be comments made by those in the congregation, and depending on the situation, she could be deemed by her peers as being bad asscociation, and likewise would be looked down upon by those in the congregation thereby causing depression and mental anguish. In addition, JW's are taught to put "Kingdom Interests" first in their lives. You would never be the main priority in her life. In addition, if you were to marry, the Organization gives specific instruction on what kinds of things are to be done sexually. Sex would not be fun, as "How to" is dictated by the Society, and also the Elders in the congregation, and could cause a great deal of frustration on both parties. I feel bad that you are in this situation, but there is usually only one outcome for those who pursue a relationship with a JW, and is not a positive one.

I hope you do find what you are looking for. Please make sure to do a LOT of research before you jump into a relationship, it will surely save a lot of heartache for both of you. You also may want to be honest with her, and talk about these issues with her, and get her viewpoint. You may be surprized at what is said.

Best wishes,

CJ

concerned mama

The world of the Watchtower can be pretty baffling for us non-JWs.

My teenage daughter had a JW boyfriend for 2 years, so I looked into it pretty carefully.
There are alot of rules, written and unwritten that a JW must follow. I learned a lot by reading 2 books published by the Watchtower. One is called "Questions Young People Ask" the other is "Secrets of Family Happiness). At least, then you will see the rules that your gf is expected to live by. Remember if she doesn't follow the rules she can be subject to shunning and losing her family.

When I read the books, I noticed that the WT quotes people without using references, so you know a doctor said something, but not who or when or in what publication. They also take Bible verses out of context and use part of it literally and part figurtively

I decided that most JWs grow up with huge feelings of guilt and that the answer to everything is more prayer and going in service. Women are definately second class citizens in the JW world and are required to be submissive. It is part of the marriage ceremony.

You could ask your gf for the books or check at your local library. Also have a look at this site

http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/inlove.htm

Check out Jgnat's thread for newbies as there are good links in it. . I will bring it back to the top for you.

Best wishes and please keep educating yourself. Send me a PM if you have any questions...and the others are right. I doesn't generally work if she is commited to being a JW.

kls

Recently someone else had basically the same post. No matter what we tell you ,you won't listen. You will do what your heart feel's and you will suffer the consecquences

4JWY

Yes, it's "strictly against JW policy" as you have heard. It's a long, pot hole filled road that you will be traveling down if you decide to stay in this relationship. People here speak from years of experience in seeing these relationships begin, struggle, destroy lives, and end - many have been in one. I'm thinking more and more lately that it really is cruel for a JW to allow these relationships to develop unless they are ready, willing, and able to make a complete split from the fanatacism of the cult.

All the best to you in investigating and decision making,

4JWY

A Paduan

She believes the wtbts is God's mouth - that's what it means to be jw.

You will be second to the wtbts, i ncluding with matters regarding your own children.

Make no mistake - they even lie to themselves.

Sentinel

If this is an experience you are meant to travel "though" in your life, you will do what your heart tells you. It seems the heart wins out in most cases like this, despite the great pain it may bring later. These are how we learn our lessons in the journey of the soul.

Having hope is never wrong when you love someone. Knowing when to let go is usually the most difficult. I hope it works out for you. Trying to change another person, even with the best of intentions usually fails and it is heartbreaking.

Love,

Karen/Sentinel

Can anyone help me? Loved one being torn away

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