by sandy 69 Replies latest social relationships
It seems that you want him (in knowing that you won't get him back for real - but just being used) thanks for the question but you already had instinctively the answer (that is why you didn't slept with him yet) cause you know exactly what he wants -
So the question is what do YOU want ? SEX or LOVE ? When you'll get the answer you'll know what to do (you said NO for now).
What makes you think you have broken up? Seems to me he now has two fish on the line. Don't let him make you his "bitch," you have sex with this guy more then many married couples do, cut the line. The thing about men is we like sex. If you are a woman who has a man frend, he will most likly have sex with you if you want it, that's why we hate it when our ladys have man frends. | ||
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If you got him back, you couldn't love him; you don't even like him.
Sandy, just one more thing. I was just discussing your challenge with my wife, Mary, who loves me so much I must be the luckiest man in the world. She is pretty smart and worships the ground I walk on, which is sort of an oxi-moron.
Anyway, I ran a scenerio by her in which we had broken up, I had someone new. The question I posed to her was:
Knowing that you still love me so much and hurt that we are apart, and the sex would be really awsome, and with the act of sex, the symblance of an emotional connection would sort of fill the loneliness, would you have sex with me?
She said under those circumstances, no matter how badly she wanted it, she has too much dignity and self-respect to keep sleeping with me knowing that somewhere in my head I was comparing her to the other, and not willing to commit to a real relationship. She would rather do without if it meant such a compromise. She had me all to herself at one time, gave it all to me at one time, and would never settle for sharing because she deserves all or nothing.
I hope a mature, well-grounded woman's viewpoint helps.
Corvin
Corvin, my dignity will not allow me to sleep with him. I do know better. I totally agree with your wife on this one.
I shouldn't have said I was tempted because that is not true. I was just more after all of your opinions as to why some people ask their exes for sex.
I was looking for a different answer than just he is horny.
I know there is more to it than that. I am sure it is a combination of things but I m sure the hordog in him is the biggest part of the reason. The fact is he doesn't want a relationship with me at this time. And I cannot do the casual sex thing with him. To me sex between him and I was far deeper.
To Willy-Wink, I don't know if you mis-understood me but I am not having sex with him and I haven't been. We had sex together only one time and it was about a month after we broke up.
I did mis-understand you Sandy and i'm happy you are not leting him use you.
WELL FED UP I AH WEEELLL UUUMMMM.
HELL, I DUKNOW AM I??
DO YOU MEAN MY CURRENT WIFE? EVERYTHING A MAN COULD WANT.
OR DO YOU MEAN YOU MAY BE ONE OF MY EX WIVES.
I HOPE NOT. IF YOU ARE, I'M NOT GOING TO LIKE YOU VERY MUCH AND
NO I DON'T WANT SEX WITH YOU.
Outoftheorg
edited to try to make some sense out of what I said
A Question for guys:
Actually 3 questions:
Why do some guys feel the need to have sex with their ex-girlfriends?
I think it is all evolutions fault, after all look at our closest relatives the apes and chimps. We both men and women have evolved this marraige faithfulness thing that is neither right nor wrong,,it is just a thing. Unfaithfulness to ones partner is found thru out the animal world,,sometimes it has good effects, sometimes the unfaithfulness may be more comon with the female and in some it is the dominant male that gets all the females with other males sneaking some nooky when they can get away with it.
What I'm saying is evolution.
Is this a common thing?
I don't know the satictics but you can probably look them up on the net.
How many of you guys did or do this?A few million I guess or at least.
Ok everyone I just talked to my ex-boyfriend. I am really emotional this week but thank goodness I kept my cool.
Earlier today I called him but his voice mail came on so I said "Hey I wanted to talk to you but don't worry about calling me back I'll put it in an email to you. Bye."
Well, he just called me about 20 minutes ago. He said what's up I didn't see an email from you. I just said yeah I decided against it. Blah Blah Blah....
We talked about other things, school, current events, family. Nothing too deep though.
Then he went there (which I was waiting for him to do). He asked me when I wanted to do the specific thing we do. Sorry to sound so mysterious I just don't feel comfortable with the whole board knowing.
I said that is what I was going to write you about in an email. I told him calmly: "Don't ask me for sex anymore." I am not ever going there with you again outside of a relationship with you. And that is obvioulsly not going to happen so stop asking me."
I told him that I am insulted and even hurt that he would ask me for such things. I told him you must not care about me at all. You know breaking up with you is still affecting me.
He said Sorry he didn't think it was a big deal since I went along with it and acted like I was interested. Which I did act interested but only to shoot him down later after he truly believed I would give in.
Stupid games I know. I told him all this and he said he was sorry and he wouldn't ask again. Yeah right less than 3 minutes later he asked again.
So I said as I have before every time you ask me for sex I wonder how many times you cheated on me. And just as before he denied it. WHATEVER!!!
Then I asked him How he could justify cheating on his g/f. He avoided answering me and instead made a joke: He says he is doing me a favor.... Blah BLah Blah....... Its for you. So I said I never call you and ask you for sex its not about me. Its all about you.
So I tried to corner him again and asked him the same ? how do you justify cheating I really want to know.
So he gets all serious and says I wouldn't have gone through with it. WHATEVER!!!! Which is exactly what I said to him.
Then he said really. So I said you know just to prove that you would do it would be the only reason I would ever go through with it.
So to that he said well than make me prove it.
So I just said you disgust me and keeping my friendship with you makes me feel like trash. Don't call me anymore. Bye. then I hung up.
Ok, I need to grow up I know.
You know, he doesn't sound like much of a friend, sandy. Friends don't pressure you for sex, especially after you have said 'no'. Why keep playing into this nonsense? I know how you're feeling right now, but if you cut off contact with him, you will begin to heal from this relationship.
Just say, BUH-bye!!
