A QUESTION FOR GUYS (page 6)

Sirius Dogma

Sandy, Good for you!

If he ever calls you again, tell him to go fuck himself, he sounds like a real dick.

regards,

SD

sandy

I cannot explain to you everything about him and why he acts the way he does.

You guys only see a piece of the puzzle. Yes he is a jerk I know.

But I am no angel. I am not trying to defend him but when you are with someone for four years it is not so black and white.

I'm telling you just the bad now. He is a good guy with some asshole ways. He doesn't intentially hurt people or me.

He needs to grow up and he'll be ok. I know I need to cut off ties completely.

Some time soon him and I will get it right. I get mad and emotioanl but deep down I know he cares about me as I do him. But that doesn't mean I am going to take the bad treatment.

I am sure many of you can realate.

I will make a confession here. I cheated on him once, a year before we broke up. To this day he doesn't know. I had my reasons though I am not justifying what I did in any way.

The picture isn't always black and white.

confusedjw

Earlier in this thread Confused said:

Don't have sex with him.
Ignore him for the rest of your life.

Listen to him. This is good advice.

Sounds like you made the right choice Sandy.. You are right, that things are not always black and white. I was thinking about the time I went and ended up having sex with my ex.. We had it for two different reasons. I was going through a tough time (and not to mention drunk on prescription diet pills and alcohol) and so a comfort from the past felt 'right'.. when I was with him, it felt like I was just with my husband, nothing dirty or wrong, just a place I felt safe. Now he evidentally wanted it for all the reasons the guys in this thread mentioned.. just plain being horny.. not getting enough or good elsewhere.. etc etc.. at the the time he mentioned it to his dad (an elder) and so I had to call the elders (I was a JW at the time.. although he was doing a fade)... well it was a difficult process for me. Was he supportive? No.. his reaction for the elders coming down on me (he didnt' go to meet up with his elders when they called), wasn't oh I am sorry, we shouldn't have done that, it was............that was fun, can we do it again?? we should do that every once in a while..

little1

I think I understand your attachment and your reluctance to flush 4 years of a relationship down the toilet. I had a similar circumstance with my ex-he wouldn't commit to me, yet still wanted to sleep with me. I kept hoping that he would see how great I was and that he would eventually want to stay. It didn't happen. But as long as I was willing to let him hang on (for 3 years), he was there trying to take advantage of my love. I finally had to cut myself off from him. I couldn't take the pain. Yes, I still miss the good times, but ultimately I know I did the best thing for me.

Tell yourself that you deserve someone who treats you with respect and caring, and that someday that someone will appear in your life. It's hard to let go of someone with whom you have had such a close connection to, but ultimately it will be doing yourself a favor. At your young age there are plenty of worth guys out there. At my age it seems more difficult! It will be one year in Sept since I saw him. It gets a little easier each day. Hang tough.

l1

Yerusalyim

Actually, I've hooked up with both ex wives and several ex girlfriends...but this was really only shortly after the break up. The sex can be pretty awesome as there's the drudge element...and the emotional stress is out of the way.

Fed Up

WELL FED UP I AH WEEELLL UUUMMMM.
HELL, I DUKNOW AM I??
DO YOU MEAN MY CURRENT WIFE? EVERYTHING A MAN COULD WANT.
OR DO YOU MEAN YOU MAY BE ONE OF MY EX WIVES

I'm sorry, outofthe org, you must not have read my any of my previous posts and misunderstood.

By that I meant that my husband also has a problem with his ex wife trying to have sex with him, (so she can get him to cheat on me) and that's been going on for 20 years now! She just broke up with yet another husband and has renewed her campaign to get HIM back and he's about as fed up with it as I am!

He's "out of the org[anization] too and from the tone of your post, I was just somewhat being facitious in commenting that you could be him, because you seemed to be "echoing" his same sentiments about his ex.

Please forgive me for not clarifying. Is this better?

And in case anyone else misunderstood--Of course I agree with all the guys who commented that there are plenty of women who play this game with their ex's too! After all, I've been dealing with one who's been after my husband going on 20 years now!

Crazy151drinker

Sandy,

How many times do I have to tell you, you just need to have sex with me

(Gotta Love the Dubbies)

bluesapphire

Hi Sandy, I know a guy who will make you forget all about your ex. Call me and we can figure something out for you two to meet. Find someone new who deserves your love. It's not black and white but just the bad parts you're talking about show how dysfunctional you two are. Move on with your life, sweetie. You deserve better!

ApagaLaLuz

Ok, I need to grow up I know.

No ya dont sand..... you just need to drink more and buy a vibrator :) *muah*

A QUESTION FOR GUYS