May I look inside your heads for a moment?

by SwampThing 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    First of all, a belated welcome to you! I haven't read others' experiences, but I'll give you one. It's not my experience, since I had trouble putting my life into another person's hands. However, I've studied my JW mother, and her reasons for becoming a JW.

    My mother had a bad upbringing which included physical and sexual abuse. She got married at age 19 to an alcoholic and abuser. They had one child together. The marriage ended in divorce when my half-brother was about six years old. She hated putting him through it.

    My mother re-married to another alcoholic (my father) and they had me. My mother came close to leaving my father a couple of times. My mother was also struggling with the issue of religion in her life. Then, the JWs knocked on her door, and showed her a "much better way of life". She previously had a wild side, with no sense of self-control. The JWs made her realized that control was needed in her life to make it better. However, they didn't show her that self-control could be learned. They taught her that a religious organization should control her life. She uses the JW teachings to control her life, because she cannot control herself.

    She is still with my father, but I believe she would be much happier if they were apart. She continues to live her life in unhappiness because she's been taught that it is the correct path. My father has quit drinking, but has turned to gambling. They are constantly miserable toward each other, and my mother has a difficult time dealing with him. She's completely astounded at how I deal with him (and everything else in my life), and I have no religion controlling my life. She doesn't understand how I do it.

    It's sad to see how my mother's past, combined with the JW religion has messed up her mind. The JWs don't teach you to deal with your past. They teach you to just leave it behind, and everything will go well as long as you keep reading the Watchtower, attending meetings, and go out in service. They also offer their perfect paradise earth where all wrongs will be corrected, and everything will be perfect and happy. My mother has bought into this, and is relying on Paradise Earth to fix everything that is wrong in her life. It's sad that she can't see her life can be fixed without this hope.

    JWs teach people to block out mistakes of the past, and they do this with their doctrine as well. Because of this, my mother's memory fails her repeatedly. Also, when my memory succeeds where hers fails, she tries to convince me that my memory is failing as well. I've had arguments with her about trivial things in my childhood. I hear lots of "You don't remember that! You're making it up!" She's either astounded by my memory, or she doesn't want me to remember. She wants me to lie to myself, just as she has been taught to.

  • cyber-sista
    cyber-sista

    Thoughtful topic Swamp thing.

    Why did I turn myself over to the WT in my adult years? I think many of the posters here have echoed much of what happened to me, but here's my list

    Raised by a mother who was aloof and disconnected--Father who had anger and alcohol problems--never felt loved or appreciated growing up. Grew up depressed, confused and suffered from low self esteem.

    Turned into an idealistic thinker in the 60s and 70s, but was disillusioned with the whole movement after a while.

    Was suffering from post partum depression after my daughter was born (when I was first dragged into the Org) and didn't wanted to give her the best life I could without all the things I had experienced. I also loved her so much and the question was planted in me--you want your baby to live don't you? Of course I did!!!

    After that I was promised love and friendships and support and a program that would help me to be the best wife, mother, friend and all around better person (Christlike). I was also promised "somewhere over the rainbow" the promise of paradise and all good things to come. And all I had to do is take the red pill and remain in a denial state of mind forever, but some 20 years later I took the blue pill and here I am shocked back to my senses and still picking up the pieces.

    cybs

  • observador
    observador

    Nosferatu,

    very good comments made by you and others in the thread.

    However, I've studied my JW mother, and her reasons for becoming a JW.

    Nice!

    JWs teach people to block out mistakes of the past, and they do this with their doctrine as well. Because of this, my mother's memory fails her repeatedly. Also, when my memory succeeds where hers fails, she tries to convince me that my memory is failing as well. I've had arguments with her about trivial things in my childhood. I hear lots of "You don't remember that! You're making it up!" She's either astounded by my memory, or she doesn't want me to remember. She wants me to lie to myself, just as she has been taught to.

    Man, you can't imagine how hard I laughed on this one. If it wasn't your intention, please forgive me. It brought back a lot of memories of myself growing up. I also couldn't help but remember of 1984 by George Orwell. 'We have never been at war against Eastasia... Eurasia is who our enemy is...', remember?

    Observador.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit