Hmm, yes, the diary is a good idea!!!
For the kids: THEY are giving you the classic JW guilt trip. You could LOGICALLY ask them why they are not honoring their father: is this not a part of the biblical command? My father for over 30 years of STALKING me after I left the KH quoted "honoring your father was the first command with a promise".
ASK POINTED QUESTIONS!!!! And you might sit in on this Bible Study and see what is happening. Go lightly and quietly at first. If you INSIST that you are the "Head of the House" your wife will have little choice. Make her explain why she is defying "Jehovah's order and provision of things" if she balks.
Watch out for the LOGICAL FLAWS; Farkel recently published a "dictionary" of most of these; check his posts of this week.
BTW, JW's are the most decadent in a sense of being spoiled and ill mannered of any that you can find: They care not a whit for what they say or do means, they only care that they get their way.
If a child is old enough to participate in the psychological warfare, they are old enough to get it back!!!
When the wife objects, point out that this is low and dirty pool, but who taught them that.
BTW, as someone said, use the "Head of the House" and PROVIDER thing to the MAX. Place emphasis on that PROVIDER.
Mustang
PS My advice is perhaps rough, though you are in a rough position. GO SLOWLY & speak only with care and deliberation!!!