Yeah, it is like the onion or the guy who writes this likes to make up quotes and see how people react. Kinda funny actually. A lot of people take it seriously.
Or these:
Edwards Pick Forces Cheney Choice: Avacor or Rogaine (2004-07-06) -- Now that Vice President Dick Cheney will likely face Sen. John Edwards in debate this fall, Republican insiders say he also faces an historic decision: Avacor or Rogaine?
"I'd like to say that the vice presidential contest pits a seasoned veteran against a flash-in-the-pan rookie," said the unnamed GOP source, "But the reality is, people evaluate character by results. If you can produce a thick, luxurious cranial covering, that's considered a mark of good character."
In addition to over-the-counter and prescription medications, Mr. Cheney has also considered hair implants.
"The time's too short to do the implants," the source said. "Cheney can't go on TV while his head looks like a cornfield in mid-June."
or this one LOL!
Kerry Backs Pre-Conception Abortion (2004-07-05) -- Just a day after revealing that he believes life begins at conception and that he opposes abortion yet supports abortion rights, Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry today announced his plan to implement "pre-conception abortions".
"Unlike the brutality of uterine abortions which savagely destroy human lives," Mr. Kerry said, "Pre-conception abortions can be executed painlessly with sedatives on irresponsible couples. It would end their lives, preventing behavior that may lead to abortions."
Mr. Kerry, who is also a U.S. Senator, said the problem of unwanted pregnancy actually begins some time before conception in a process not fully understood by science.
"My plan would deal with the issue upstream and would truly make abortion rare," he said. "But it's only a temporary solution. Ultimately, science will show us how to identify embryos and fetuses which are predisposed to becoming adults who produce unwanted pregnancies so we can abort them before they have a chance to do that. I support a woman's right to abort a fetus which is destined to create an unwanted pregnancy."
In case you had any doubts, from the site itself -
ScrappleFace, the daily news satire site, features new stories virtually every day
Good one Elsewere, I was totally like WTF?! A good reminder to not believe everything that you read people.