Our dear Jackson is sick again . . . . interesting parenting question

by cruzanheart 36 Replies latest social family

• 

  Sunspot

  Hi Nina,

  I had five kids in ten years and started in my teens......I had all the energy I needed under normal (?) circumstances, with illnesses and all. What I was lacking in was experience and maturity! I'd have handled a lot of things very differently.

  It did get nuts around here at the times when one would bring something home from school, and three days later another would come down with it, and so forth. I remember the "Spring of the Chicken Pox" when we were ALL confined to the house during each outbreak and the subsequent further outbreaks as they happened and the recuperation period to go through when they're feeling fine but the school won't let you send them back yet. I wonder sometimes HOW in the world I did it!

  Then at age 41, we take over the "job" of our 5 month-old autistic grandson, (with ADHD). We didn't know of his condition until he was 8 months old.........and quite a task to handle! So NOW I had the maturity but my stamina wasn't what I'd have liked it to be!

  SOMEHOW, we've got to figure out a happy "in between" to have all the perks of maturity AND stamina!

  Hugs to you and little Jackson,

  Annie
• 

  Sunnygal41

  Not to hijack your thread, Nina, but, have you tried giving Jackson a tablespoon of honey every day? I read somewhere that there is something in the honey that will help desensitize you to local allergies! It has to be raw honey, and it has to be from your area. It may not do too much, but, any slight improvement would be a relief for you and Tex.

  Terri
• 

  cruzanheart

  Thanks for the support, y'all, and thanks for the suggestion of the honey, Terri. We have done that before and it didn't seem to do much good, but I think we are going to aggressively try some homeopathic remedies to build up his immune system. I'm HOPING that this latest virus is the result of his immune system being compromised by the Prednisone and not the cycle of viruses starting up again.

  Poor little guy, he's had a crappy summer. BUT HE DID GET TO SEE SPIDERMAN 2!!! (Great movie, BTW.)

  Nina
• 

  Evesapple

  Poor little guy...I hate when they get sick and are so helpless...hope he feels better soon.

  As far as being a younger mom, I had my daughter at 21 and my son at 34....I love my daughter very much but in no way was I prepared, emotionally for parenthood...I was still a baby. I have a lot more patience now and appreciation for my status. But, I do enjoy being a younger mom of a teenager....we do enjoy one anothers company and I'm not so far spanned from her generation that I cannot relate nor remember. Energy wise, I think I have more energy now than I did then. I'm more educated about taking care of myself and staying active. It's definetely better being older....I'm ready for one more :) why not?
• 

  Simon

  Sorry to hear he's poorly again

  Hope he shakes it off quickly and can concentrate on important "being a kid" stuff

  (((( All of you )))
• 

  Special K

  Raises hand up high.. I'm the older mom.

  and I'm glad I didn't have kids when I was younger.

  I feel I'm more mature and more patient...

  A big plus is that with children, at least in our household, my husband really helps up alot with the 3 boys.

  As I read in your topic post, Big Tex was right there with you doing his part to help with the clean up.

  And we have taken turns with the alarm clock to get up and check to see if fevers are soaring again.

  In the past, when I have been away at the hospital with the youngest one for 10 to 15 day stints, my husband has held the fort at home with the other boys, cooking, cleaning, getting them off to school and working full time himself. He is a very good "fort support".

  At one time in our lives we could have looked to our extended family for back up.. but disfellowshipping sure chucked that out the window. We have learned to rely on each other through upheaval and have now built up, what I call, some "chosen family" to help us in emergencies.

  I wonder if I would have had a young husband that he would have had the maturity to see the need of his help?. hard to say, maybe but maybe not.

  ....

  ((( Nina )).. It never rains but it pours when you are tired (refering to your work who let things go until it became a mad rush.. I hate that.

  Special K
• 

  seeitallclearlynow

  we are going to aggressively try some homeopathic remedies to build up his immune system.

  Hi Nina, I'm glad to hear this, as I believe strongly in the benefits of alternative treatments. I hope you find a good health specialist who can help guide your son's treatments. My brother has suffered all his life with various respiratory problems and he also had his adenoids and tonsils removed as a little fellow.

  As to whether it seems better to be a young or older parent, I'm sure it all depends on the person and the circumstances, naturally, but in my case I would definitely be a better parent to little children now than I was at 23-29 when I had mine. But a lot that might seem natural is reversed in my case - I did not have more energy when I was younger as would be expected, rather, I'm much healthier in every way now that I'm older, happier, more relaxed, mature, loving, etc. Funny, though, my son commented last year to my daughter that "she had it better - because she got Mom when she was young." Odd thing to say; I don't know what he meant.

  Oh well, we certainly have fun now!
• 

  Mulan

  We had our first three children in our 20's, and then had our fourth 10 years later when I was 34 and Dave was 36. We both feel we were much more patient and casual about parenting him. Suddenly not everything was a "disaster". Many people thought we were overly permissive with him, but the things that seemed such "big deals" for the older kids, were suddenly not so important with him. He was a very good boy, and never gave us a minute's trouble.

  We had more money so could give him more. By the time he was 9, all the older kids were gone from the house, and he got to go out to dinner more, went on more trips than the others ever did, and got 100% of our attention.

  Of course the other kids thought he was spoiled rotten, but they helped to spoil him too. It was like he had 3 other parents in many ways. He was everyone's baby.

  I'm so sorry Jackson is sick yet again. Our baby also had asthma and we had lots of middle of the night trips to the emergency room. I remember the first time they gave him a cortisone shot. I about had a heart attack...................I hate that stuff, but the doctor assured me that once or twice in his life wouldn't hurt him in the long run, and at least he could breathe again. I finally took him to a Naturopath even though our insurance wouldn't pay for him, but he helped him too. He still has asthma, at age 25, but seldom has problems anymore. You might try that. Just a thought.
• 

  Englishman

  Hope the little fella's health improves soon.

  Mike.
• 

  calamityjane

  Nina sorry to hear about Jackson. Poor kid.

  You wanted an opinion heres mine. If I had to do it again and based on the emotional turmoil as a woman at my age of 46, I would have had the last two kids earlier in life. My oldest is 24 and on her own in Toronto, and I wish my two youngest ones at 14 and 12 were not far behind in leaving the nest, but I still have a way to go.

  On my bad days coming from work, I would just like to be able to come home to the clean house that I had left in the morning. So before I can even make supper, it takes half and hour to clean up their mess plus yack at them for not doing it, and then getting attitude.

  I find I need my space (clean space) and they do not respect that. They will eventually get it, but in the meantime I think to myself that my oldest is on her own and if I had the last two right after her, they too would be on their own or close to it.

  Hugs to you and Chris.

  love

  cj