Age Difference?

by simplesally 58 Replies latest social relationships

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  Aalena

  Insomniac, Danny wasn't referring to the elderly in general badly, but the prey that some elders have taken upon themselves to marry. This prey being, signifigantly younger people in the congregations that have pretty much no experience in life and are a good amount of years younger.

  My younger sister, who is a pioneer in her hall, married a man that was 18 years older than she was, at age 20. This man used to be married to a woman who he married when he came back from bethel, the day she turned 18(and he had dated since she was 14...). This woman also used to study with my younger sister and I when we were pre-teens and teenagers. The couple used to "babysit" us when our parents went out of town and have "get-togethers" for many of the young ones in the congregation during that time as well. I remember this man and his brothers commenting on how my little sister and I were going to be "hot" when we were 10-12 years old and being bothered by their comments. This man and his wife were actually neighbors to us at one point. The two of them divorced because of infidelity in the marriage and as soon as my father died, after my little sister was 18, he started to date her(he knew my father would kick his ass). Anyhow they married and I am disgusted by it.

  I think there are circumstances for every relationship and some are innocent and are not to be judged. Others- I think there are some underlying issues that people are not addressing. In this case I believe my little sister is attempting to replace our father and I think he husband is just a sicko.
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  Insomniac

  Aalena- I agree with you, that the situation with your sister is not a good one. However, Danny did not mention any specific cases, just talked in a very general way about his feelings on older/younger relationships, and ridiculed older people for a physical infirmity which is all too common with people just a bit older than he is.

  I don't appreciate it when people speak contemptiously about others' choice of romantic partners, or lob childish insults at the elderly. I'm quite sure that Danny would like to be treated with respect by those younger than him.

  At any rate, he's a grown man, and quite capable of answering for himself, so I welcome his reply to the concerns that I've voiced.
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  finnrot

  I have to agree with sixofnine, a 26 year age difference is just perfect for me.

  I am 46 and my wife is 20 years old. To say she is young enough to be my daughter would be appropriate. My wife is a few months older than my youngest daughter and she is a few months younger than my oldest daughter.

  When I got divorced a few years ago I just decided that I would be alone the rest of my life, and after 18 years spent in a horrible marraige, the prospect of peace and quiet and no nagging was a releif.

  The reason I figured I would not get married again was because I just didn't find women in my age rage very appealing, on any level. A co-worker who is of Filipino decent casually mentioned to me that if I was looking for a good woman then I should look for someone from the Philippines. I had never heard of such a thing, but I did some research using google and found that there a lot of fil-am dating sites on the net.

  After a ton of research on the net, I decided to reply to some of the ads on a few of the free profile sites for filipinas that were searching for American husbands. I received some replies to my emails but one girl, my eventual wife Jet, popped up on my Y-messenger one night while I was at work. We talked for about an hour when all of the sudden she told me that I was probably too old for her, and that she had a girlfriend that had a child and would i be interested in her, I told Jet that I wasn't interested in her friend and that I agreed that I was probably too old for her, and then I popped her messenger screen off of my computer.

  Jet popped up on my screen and asked me to forgive her and that she liked talking to me, I popped her off of my screen several times before I gave in and began to talk to her again. From that night on we talked for about 6 to 8 hours non-stop every night until I flew over to the P.I. 6 months later and converted to catholicism in a record 20 days so I could marry Jet in a nice big catholic wedding. Turns out that about 92% of the population of the Philippines is catholic. How ironic, I spent much of my youth arguing with my catholic neighbor friend about which religion was better, J.W. or catholic, and I end up converting to the enemy..lol

  After a long immigration process that took over a year, my wife is finally here with me. I must say that I couldn't be happier. We both are very much in love with each other. I have told Jet that she can go back to school and finish her college degree here if she wants, or she can get her real estate license and go to work under my mothers brokers license, or if she chooses, she can stay at home and take care of the house. It's completely up to her.

  Who knows what the future holds, but for now I can guarantee that we are amongst the few married coulples that can honestly say that they are married to their best friends. We laugh together, and play together, and love together. As far as jet and I are concerned, the rest of the world can screw themselves if they have a problem with it.

  By the way, I wear a cool gold cross every day that Jet bought me in the Philippines, and as I promised to the priest the married us in the P.I. I take Jet to Mass every Sunday. It's really cool. It's mostly singing and it's only about one hour long....Perfect!!
• 

  mercedes_29
• 

  prologos

  A bethelite made a general comment once that an older man with a younger wife would work better than the other way around, because the energy level of the younger male, riding his dirt-bike, working at two jobs-, partying all night, would conflict with the stay at home desires of granny., whereas

  The experienced and settled and financially stable older husband (translated bound to the house) old english), allow the younger wife to flourish. that said

  I know of a couple over 20 years happily married, where the husband is pushing the mid EIGHTIES, his wife half his age, and they just celebrated their youngest childs Ist BIRTHDAY. so it seems to work sometimes.

  In praise of older women notwithstanding,

  older men seem to need more stimulation, and younger ladies seem to do that. think of King Davids last years, it does not always work.

  Pharmaceuticals were not the same then what they are now.

  dont give up.
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  tiki

  omg - this reminds me of a situation many years back - and seriously i should have remembered this one for the whackiest comment thread. elder of questionable virtue has wife that dies.....early 60's, sudden event. he was somewhere between 65 and 70. his sons and daughters really were not into the idea of dad having to be their responsibility for care as he aged, so one of them set him up with a late-twenties divorcee. Literally within months of the first wife's demise, there was a short engagement and marriage. His reflection, which I heard with my own ears.... "if your old dog dies, what do you do? you got get yourself a brand new puppy." why that girl married him is beyond me, but apparently she was in a desperate state. another widowed elder i know of married a woman 20 years younger.....but she was in her 60's and you do the math, so that one wasn't quite so nauseating.
• 

  wasblind

  Pharmaceuticals were not the same then what they are now______Prologos

  An older man shouldn't become overly confident in those Pharmaceuticals

  thinkin' he can roll a woman half his age

  There are risk takin' meds that increase the male stamina

  Like the loss of vision and heart attack

  It's a sad day when Ol' Henry finally stand errect

  can't see where he need to go, and die before he get there

  jus' sayin'

  ,
• 

  prologos

  was blind: The pills that would have cured David's ills: I was talking about the David and Abishag the Shunammite situation, his last female companion, reputed to be the most attractive young landy in the land, who slept with him, but did not succeed to RAISE offspring for the aging king.

  was blind: as you know men are not blind, and good visuals leave their mark, and marksmen. see Math: 5:28. ladies well know that, and hence their greater preocupation with looks, trending to reduce age rather than stress maturity.

  I believe to have read that good sexual manners into old age extend the life expectancy rather than reduce it? May be that is why the men of old (and their wifes) lived so long. if sex kills you: what a way to go!!!

  Talking of age differences in the symbolic, bible fable realm: think of The ETERNAL God and his "wife" the "Jerusalem Above", infinitely younger,-- or The Christ, older at least by 15 billion years (if you are a non-Trinitarian) than his bride to be the "NEW Jerusalem" (the 144 ks) now engaged and to be married not later than 2 overlapping generations from 1914!!

  No wonder the diverging-age couples like the example above are blessed.

  thank you for the encouragement.
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  wasblind

  Thank you for your explanation Prologos

  But I was referin' to men of today and when you mentioned

  pharmaceuticals, the risk that come along came to mind

  .