by Brummie 44 Replies latest jw friends
...are seperating, and darn it feels so weird. One day I'm like "yeah, ok, sounds like this could be for the best" and the next day I'm feelin like :(
Wont share anymore except to say there is no 3rd person involved or anything like that
If you have dealt with seperation how did you cope? Still friends? I'm not an emotional wreck or anything but rather having one of those times when the world moves at a different pace, one day ok, the next, cant believe this is happening kinda days.
Brummie
((((((Brummie))))))) I am friends with both of my ex's, one together 6 years, the other 4. My husband and I separated mutually, and it was very strange, it took me a long time to accept that we'd really done it. I went wild for a while, but have since settled down...a little. I hope all goes well with you, love, and if you ever need to just talk, you know where to find me..
@ you
Feels strange to become "only friends" with someone after they have become a huge part of life, hope we can though, cant imagine being enemies with her, I'd feel gutted to have hurt her feelings to the degree that she hated me, too weird.
x x x x
Brum:
Sounds pretty normal. One day up, the other down. It's a grieving process. Sorry this has happened, and I think the best way to deal with it is just keeping busy and trying to be there for your kids. My thoughts are with ya...
Country
I'm sorry Brummie to hear that you're going through this.
By the way, who's going to keep the cat?
Thanks CG Weird thing is, we have never had a big argument, and I dread one happening when I move out, cus then we might fall out big time, coward en i though! :)
Lol @ JH, hahaah, the cat is M.I.N.E
I hope the 2 of you get back together
Brummie, I'm sorry to hear about this.
One day I'm like "yeah, ok, sounds like this could be for the best" and the next day I'm feelin like :(
I went through the exact same thing. One day, things are going pretty good, the next day I feel like hell. Your feelings are probably going to be f***ed up for a while. They'll be swinging back and forth like crazy. It will even itself out in time.
If you have dealt with seperation how did you cope? Still friends?
I chose to cut her completely out of my life, however, your situation's different (you have children). The less contact you have with her, the quicker you'll adjust to the situation, and the quicker you'll move on.
It's always best to look at a situation like this at a positive angle. You now have a chance to do stuff you normally wouldn't or couldn't do. You have a new life set in front of you - single life. It's only bad if you think it's bad. Make the best of it, and regain some of the fun you had before you got married.
I wish you all the best on your new life.
((Brummie))) sorry to hear that youre seperating..I think you sound as thought youre coping really well...
...I went through it 18 years ago..it was tough but after the first month I settled into a new routine..and realised I was going to be ok.but I had a lot to be angry about which kept me moving forwards and away from him....am about to go through it again now..it's tough.Some days are awful-I know its for the best, but it still hurts as its so much emotional upheaval and you get worn out..
. and this time there are children involved who hurt too so that makes the whole situation tragic.Its been on the cards for a long time-but I have so much hate thrown at me all the time , espacially this past week, that it takes alot to keep on top of it and not let myself buckle.Am having hypnotherapy for stress and to encourage m to see problems as a challenge to look forward to rather than to get worried about...and to try and stay centered and its working quite well considering the level of abuse.
You both sound very civilised about it and im sure if you are your boys will be fine.im sure mine will be too;but I'll be really low at weekends... not having my children aroud will be awful.,,ive not been apart from them for longer than a few days all of their lives apart from occasional holidays with the school etc...i dont like to think of them having a weekend without me not knowing what theyve done or sharing itwith them:( thats going to be the killer for me..
As long as they know theyre loved and you dont talk badly about the other parent they'll cope:)
and so will we
when you spend so long with someone it's going to be a painful process what ever the circumstances, especially children as theres no clean break-you have to keep seeing them for the rest of your life becasue youre both parents.....we just need time to get used to it.
I have terrific guilt feelings that my husbands loosing his house that we both love so much...You feel as though youve got too much and they dont have 'enough', even though assets will be split 50/50.
its just so sad its over because I feel ive 'failed' regardless of my feeling for him.
But im trying to see the future is a big adventure.
Brumley, I hope that you are happier, the both of you. Its tough when you have to split up. No roadmap on what to feel. I hope you two can still have friendship.
If you have dealt with seperation how did you cope?
Made a lot of dumb mistakes. In between the dumb mistakes I took out time to actually get to know myself, though its an ongoing thing, and me and myself have come close to having a seperation. Played more golf. Dated (see "mistakes" above)
Still friends?
Sort of. I've not been a really good friend to her, I can admit, and I don't think she really knows me at all, and vice versa. She's got her life, and I got mine. If it weren't for the kids I doubt we'd ever really talk to one another again. It's not a bitterness thing, its just that life went on. It's sad, really.
