Learning not to be judgemental

by eljefe 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • doogie
    doogie
    So where does the moral dilemna arise?

    i had the same problem when i was coming out. but i think it comes from the indoctrination of the WTS' values. i started to stop myself when i had judgmental thoughts and really see if i could come up with a valid reason as to WHY that thing was "bad" in my mind. almost all of the time i came back to the answer, "because the JW's don't do that."

    really, why is 'kissing or fondling a stranger' bad? if you're in a relationship it could be considered disrespectful to the mate. i think that's a valid reason. but what if both are single? then i think the reason is because it could "lead to something more..." (i.e. watchtower think). why is "something more" bad in and of itself? i think that's up to everyone individually but personally, i think that unwanted pregnancy is something to avoid and i'm certainly not a big fan of STDs, but i see nothing wrong with people having safe fun...

    my point is just that i think we hold on to values that have been "injected" into us long after we leave. we assume that those values (by which we naturally judge ourselves and others) are OUR values, but maybe they're not. i think after we determine what our personal values/morals are, we won't notice ourselves judging others so much because we'll fully realize that our morals are simply OUR morals (and maybe there is no such thing as "good" and "bad").

    plus, i hate how my family and friends project their morals and definitions of sin on me. i'd hate to tdo the same.

  • Freedom Fighter
    Freedom Fighter

    Hi there and welcome -

    I think that being judgemental is an essential part of the witnesses' psyche. As they put themselves forward as the only true religion then the natural consequence of this is for their followers to believe that they are right. It's this deeply ingrained sense of 'being in the right' that develops into a habit and can be therefore difficult to break.

    JWs are constantly bemoaning the lower standards of ' worldly people ' and rejoice smugly in their own superiority, although we all know that this is a complete joke. It's a hard habit to break, but as time goes on it gets easier.

    FF

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