by LyinEyes 37 Replies latest watchtower medical
I confess that I really do have anger issues when it comes to mistreatment by JW's . . . from childhood until now.
It is really like a very tender scab that gets picked and festers everytime I have to deal with the JW mentality. It would heal if I did not have to deal with them still. I think it's getting better, but slowly.
Every day the anger comes up in me becase of the JW past.
When the anger comes i dont give it thoughts, i just feel the anger and then the anger slowly goes away. If you have thoughts with the anger you just feeding the bad feelings indside you and it will never stop.
Read This book!!!
Eckhart Tolle, called: The Power of Now - A Guide to Spiritual Englightenment
Nordic
The anguish and the agony of having to renounce the life-long convictions of my heart.The surreal horror to learn that it was all a LIE. Listen up! For 33 years I went door to door with a Bible in my hand and Watchtower literature 
On the doorstep threshold of of my neighbors and of perfect strangers.....CONVINCED that unless I recruited you,that you and your family members were going to die! Only to learn after the vital youth prime of my life has expired...that this was all a LIE! Not only that,,,but the promise that if i did all this recruiting work,I would be rewarded with eternal youth right here in Bangor Maine. Well,that's all a lie too! Sooo,what do I do now? Don't tell me to get a f**king life and just forget about it!
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Real people,real sorrow,real watchtower family wrecking! I wasn't told even what year my beloved mother died!
Now,you tell me what other religion that does this,think long and hard about this question?Would the Taliban,the Neo-Nazi's or even Charles Manson deny one of it's subjects/members the right to know WHAT YEAR their mother died !! Think!
| Name | Birth | Death | Last Residence | Last Benefit | SSN | Issued | Tools | Order Record? |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| MARY ANN HASZARD | 18 Sep 1937 | 13 Oct 2002 (V) | ) | (none specified) |
I had to look up my mom's death certificate on the internet,when the database came up to speed.
Dedicated to my family members, nieces and nephew Lauren, Ashley and Kevin Haszard that have gone missing in the Jehovah's Witnesses. ? CLOSURE ? PAN AM FLIGHT 103 DOWNED BY TERRORIST in 1988 Why they can't,"..JUST FORGET ABOUT IT" SOUL RAPE OF MY FAMILY: Why I can't, "..JUST FORGET ABOUT IT" "CLOSURE", is a phrase for people who probably have never been through a horrific tragedy..When you have losses that are permanent..It's forever! WE ARE THE INCONSOLABLE ! It is not being ,'retro' for us to demand justice, ( proverbs 6 :33-35 ) There can be NO appeasement,for vicious atrocities .
HELLO !..I LOST MY ENTIRE FAMILY They are being held hostage (cocooned) by the Jehovah's Witness cult.. There is a time honored taboo..In a fair fight,you don't assail and assault your opponent's kin..Family's are off limits..You don't,'hit below the belt'. Like the,next of kin, of the victims of terrorist..I am positioned front and center , to seek retribution and justice.. NO REST FOR THE WICKED
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Anger issues from dubby mistreatment......color me the poster child!
Whenever a group sets themselves on a pedistal and looks down with disdain on the rest of the world, and then practices injustice and unkindness, they reveal the truth of themselves. Pompus arrogant lying controling uncaring fools.
I can't even pitty them anymore.
Thunder ==}>>>>>>>>>>>>
The anguish and the agony of having to renounce the life-long convictions of my heart.The surreal horror to learn that it was all a LIE.
I agree Danny. (Even though I only spent half my life in there). It is still surreal to me to look back on the whole ordeal with anything but anger and distain, which is more strongly triggered some times than the other, which I brought out in my topic this week..."A knock on my door and I'm still shaking". Encountering JWs--even the syrupy sweet ones who are trying to "encourage" you to get back to the meetings can still throw me into a loop of depression and then anger. I would like to think I am stronger than this, but I am only human and have been pushed "beyond what is normal". Thank you to whoever brought the point out that we are victims of victims. I agree with that one and this is why I cannot lash out at some of these like the woman at my door this week. She is a victim too. But the elders better not come around to see me this week--I could definitely say something to them right now and it would be far from "theocratic."
Dede....I can totally relate.
I used to be a guy who was real hard to piss off. After I was booted out of the dubs.....I got to where I didn't like to take needless crap off of anyone.......especially if I felt they belittled me, took advantage of me, or were simply being a deliberate prick to me. My attitude is F- You you piece of shite! ( except it's the shit word) That's a bad attitude.. I know
I think the emotional harm of being made to feel you are a loser because you left the "truth" , causes red flags to go up when someone makes you feel you failed in some way. I have no trouble accepting truthful critisicm.......it's getting myself to believe it's "truthful criticism", and not someone just pickin on my ass! I'm a po mixed up bastard!
(I'd prolly let denny pic on me though cuz he's a tough and mean bastard!)
Gumcoward
Iz2cool ; It is not the individual dubs who are to blame - rather the institutional system that governs them. As Ray Franz says " We are the victims of victims"
I met a lot of people as a JW. Many were nice, but most were assholes. I agree the primary responsibility for their abusive practices rests with the WTS. But I don't believe individuals can absolve themselves from all responsibility by simply claiming that they were told to behave a certain way by some "higher authority". People cannot claim to have loyalty to the organization and at the same time divorce themselves from its methods. They have brains. Those who have any common sense, integrity, and conscience eventually leave once they see the cult for what it is.
Walter
I agree Iiz2cool.......we all in part of our own healilng, have to make amends to those we hurt as JW's, if we are allowed to. Some don't want to hear what we have to say , but if we try , we did the best we could.
I mentioned in Sheila's thread ( about her experience with her sister that was on drugs and didn't think she had anything to be sorry for ), that part of the AA 12 steps is to go to those we hurt and make amends the best way we can, even if it is just saying I am sorry.
I did that with my sister who d/a herself before I did. I treated her like scum. I was such a brainwashed JW, that I took what she did personally when it wasnt about me at all. I am thankful that she was so understanding and forgiving for the way I treated her. It made me feel better to apologize and it was not hard to do at all , for me.
LyinEyes.............good post!
Anger...........ah yes! When I hear that word it reminds me of how people are constantly trying to tell us to get rid of it because it's bad for us etc. I don't agree that anger is a bad emotion, it's just another, real emotion that needs acknowledgment and respect. It's how we deal with it that's important. It is healthy to express what we feel, within reason. Why should we freely express only the happy emotions.......then smother the shhhh<<<<anger! When I discuss somethig on this forum, it usually has to do with something the WTS (individuals or as a collective) has hurt me with. FACT: I have been hurt by the wts, badly! WHY? Because I went in trusting and believing, then I got screwed! That hurt has led to anger. I would be a moron if I wasn't angry at
My hurt=anger has motivated me to take certain actions which MAY help others.
When the elder at my jc told me that my anger toward the pedophile was what led me, like Cain, to commit a sin which lead to my df'ing.......I realized then that I was dealing with evil. He was happy to put a guilt trip on me because of my more than justified feelings. He totally disrespected my emotions. The wts came first, always! And the pedophile got the support and protection.
And that brings me to my final point. There are some 'new' ones on this forum who are obviously still associating with the wts. They bring with them the same quality of the above mentioned elder. A quality of disrespect for peoples' hurt. When they defend the wts to me, when they reprove my actions, when they tell me to get over my anger, when they make me feel like I have to justify my actions to them..........that makes me angry all over again. I actually think they come here to push buttons.
So yes, I can get angry about certain things. I'm not known as an angry person but rather a positive, happy, funny one. But under all that there is hurt and anger. If the lid is taken off it will surface. How dare some take the lid off then tell you to not be angry. Sorry, if someone pushes the anger buttons they must then accept my emotion just as much as my happy one. I'm not violent or abusive in my anger but I do pour the guts out!
Cheers, Bliss (the happy one)
Yous said it all there, Sister!!!!!!!
Boy, I would hate to see a JW, phedophile defending. JW in a room with some of us huh? Gessssssh, not to mention the ped himself!!!
I totally agree with you that anger is in itself not an evil emotion, it is how we deal with it. Anger is the one of the most important emotions if you think about,,,,,,by expressing, feeling anger,,,,,we protect ourselves. It is a self preservation drive that keeps us sane really, if we can find constructive ways to deal with it of course.
