| I don't believe individuals can absolve themselves from all responsibility by simply claiming that they were told to behave a certain way by some "higher authority". People cannot claim to have loyalty to the organization and at the same time divorce themselves from its methods. They have brains. Those who have any common sense, integrity, and conscience eventually leave once they see the cult for what it is. | |
| Walter is right. | |
Do you have anger issues because of mistreatment by JW's?
by LyinEyes 37 Replies latest watchtower medical
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mamochan13
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cyber-sista
There are some 'new' ones on this forum who are obviously still associating with the wts. They bring with them the same quality of the above mentioned elder. A quality of disrespect for peoples' hurt. When they defend the wts to me, when they reprove my actions, when they tell me to get over my anger, when they make me feel like I have to justify my actions to them..........that makes me angry all over again. I actually think they come here to push buttons.
Bliss, good point--but this is how I feel towards any and all the JWs now and that is why it is hard for me to speak with them. Whenever they start to preach the WT to me or to encourage me to go back to the JW routine it pushes my buttons majorly--they aren't acknowleging the pain I suffered under the WT and they are encouraging me to go back to that abusive routine that almost killed me and destroyed my family.
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johnny cip
so many honest posts here . were are all the posters that defend the wt to some extent or and other on this thread? i'll tell you were they are . there waiting for a thread about the wt's corp. rights, freedom of speech, or some other legal junk they can use to defend this group that uses $$$$$$ POWER AND CONTROL to screw up peoples lives. this one thread alone is enough reason to burn the wt to the ground. and there are 1000"s of more stories like these here. but many here will say the wt has a right to promote their bull$h!t . i have no respect for any one that says the wt should be allowed to continue operating. and that goes for any other group, that pulles the same garbage. that's my stance . john
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sf
There are some 'new' ones on this forum who are obviously still associating with the wts. They bring with them the same quality of the above mentioned elder. A quality of disrespect for peoples' hurt. When they defend the wts to me, when they reprove my actions, when they tell me to get over my anger, when they make me feel like I have to justify my actions to them..........that makes me angry all over again. I actually think they come here to push buttons.
Some 'oldtimers' too.
sKally
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Rabbit
It is a good serious thread Dede, thank you for starting it. A "Great Crowd" of people here with a Great Deal of hurt, pain and anger.
I like this: As Ray Franz says " We are the victims of victims"
True words...
I've had some "stuff" come up recently that's depressing...it sure makes all the oily crap 'float to the top'. My youngest is about to turn 18, she is very much under the mind set and control of her JW Mom and of course the WT Mafia family in NY. When she turns 18 -- that will likely be my last contact with her -- for the foreseeable future. She can get on with "Full Time Shunning" then, because -- no more visitation will be available to me. Then of course...she can make up her own mind, who knows which way the wind will blow her? She is just an innocent and very young victim, as were both her parents and their parents. I am not angry at them..I feel sorry for them. Neither of my 2 older kids now have anything to do with the KH anymore and my eldest and I get along good now, much to the disgust of their Mother.
So, there is "hope", it's just that soon -- because of "...the loving Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses's" I will have NO access, I will be OUT of the loop. I will continue to love them and try to keep up contact...what else is a father to do ??? Dozens of letters and cards over the last several years -- never answered or acknowledged. According to my oldest...never delivered to my daughters by their Mom.
We have to realize that we as X-JW's are just as important (to faithful JW's) as a crumpled piece of paper...easily thrown away. No matter -- we are parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles...cousins... * sigh *
Victims: While going thru therapy for major depression after this all started several years ago...my doc wisely pointed out something to me. She said, "You feel like you've been a victim, don't you?"
"Well...yeah...I AM A VICTIM !"
"That's true, she says, but how long are you going to STAY a victim...?
"W-w-hat, do you mean ?"
She let me know it would be hard, very hard, but, if I was going to survive this...I was going to have to stop letting them 'make me a victim'. In other words, we all have a choice...we can sit down and let this kill us or...we can go on. She said, "Right now...to your family and church...you look like a failure...in their eyes, because you have forsaken THEIR beliefs..."
" So-o...what if you show them a successful happy person again? They will see that and it will make more of an impression than anything else you can do..."
Well...that is very hard indeed. With all our JW baggage...whew!
I want to end this comment on an upbeat note tho'...this is a cycle...this is temporary. We have others like us who have walked in our shoes and WE are showing love for one another...that's why we'll survive. I know I will do it eventually. I am motivated by freedom and love for my family and I will...
Never Surrender...
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LyinEyes
You go Johnny!!!!! Very true feelings and words in your post.
(((((((sKally)))))))
Rabbit,,,,,,,,,,hugs , hugs and more hugs . I so much appreicate your post,,,,,it shows so many emotions ,from sadness, anger , to realization of the cycle of healing. I agree we are victims of the WT, but as your therapiet said, we don't have to CONTINUE to be victims, in that we keep letting them (WT) destroy our lives. Some wrongs done to us , can not be fixed by anyone, not even ourselves to a degree, but it is how we live our lives from here on out that will be the only way to be a true survior. That is about as healing and postive as things can get. Some dark things that happened to us, will always be there, and triggers will always remind us, but we can choose to be angry, cry, and then REFUSE to let it ( the memories) victimize us anymore.
I saw in your post , that you are doing that Rabbit in this situation with your daughter, I know you must be hurting, but you see there could be a postivie that probably will come out of it.....that she will see the WT for what it is and be free too.
Rabbit, do you remember the when Puternut's daughters, his youngest I think,,moved out of the house, to live with the pioneer sister, and how he had little to no contact with them?
Later, his daughters did come to him and last I heard they have a relationship now. Let's hope that Puternut's happy ending will be yours as well. I bet your daughter will see it. I truly felt that Puternut's daughter's would see that their dad had always looked after them, loved them and wouldnt do anything to cause them grief , and they would think about WHY dad left, and then open their minds........They did. I bet your daughter will do the same. Here's to hope Rabbit,,,,,,,,,,((((((Rabbit and Daughter)))))))))
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poppers
Hey Nordic, The Power of Now was the beginning of a new way of living for me 4 years ago - what an eye opener.
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Rabbit
Thanks, Dede and all the rest of you, too.
I am hoping the best for all of us. Thanks for letting me vent a little, this is unusual for me, but I needed it.
Now I have a letter to write her...haven't a clue what to say...something wise and spectacular that I must have missed up to now. lol
I guess I'll end up telling her I'm here for her...and love her like I always have. Yep, that'll do it.
I really do have hope...my oldest has come back to me...maybe age and maturity do go hand in hand sometimes. Everyone 'progressess' at their own rate, even us who are healing OUT of the ORG. It makes me shudder to know how long it took me to "See the Truth?...." about the WT...at MY rate, it will take her 25 - 35 years.
I really believe she's a lot smarter than me.