Did You Stay as a Witness Because You Needed a Social Life & "Friends"? (page 3)

cyber-sista

I understand how hard it must be for some who have close family members in there- spouses and children--and my heart goes out to you. In all my years as being a JW my closest associations were my unbelieving hubby and daughter. I had few JW friends, but even those few I always felt strangely guarded with . We hardly did anything together--shopping at the mall sometimes, but I don't like shopping at the mall. There was also a social separation for me because I was a sister with an "unbelieving mate." This most definitely puts you into the second class citizens catagory in WT land. When they tried to take my hubby and daughter away from me and isolate me even further I said forget it. I told an elder. "You know I guess my only real sin in the end was to love my family. (Hoping to help him to see what I was going through but he said "Well, I love my worldly family too but I consider my real family to be those within Jehovah's organization" (His wife and kids are JW and he couldn't put himself in my place to think that I might love my spouse and daughter the same as he loves his) That was it. I don't like people who think like this and I don't want to be their friends anymore.

minimus

WOW Sista!! That was P O W E R F U L !!!!!

Lostreality

I had been on my way out for years. When i finally left, only 1 person my age didnt want to go with me...now ask how many did...

go on...

ask...

I DARE YOU..

Thats right, all of them chose to stay witness since some didnt want to leave. True friends are found in adversaty...guess i didnt have any.

4JWY

Far from it. That's a big part of why we checked out. We were tired of fake friendships. We never could express our true identity as unique individuals since the expectations to have been molded into the homogenous group were ever present.

We realized what a mistake it is to raise a child among such a sick society that controls your thinking to the extent that you truly believe that they are the only humans appropriate to socialize with. Our kids could never understand how it was that they had 3 kids to choose from to be friends with at our hall- they shared no common interests, yet were told, these must be your friends- not any of the hundreds at school. My son would tell the kids at school that he couldn't come to their house etc. because they are "worldly" ??? I always tried to help him find another way to explain it - but it was just as lame. He HAD to be friends with the kid at the hall who at 12 yrs. old, didn't even know what a washcloth was!

Soledad

IMHO, only the upper crust in the congregation have a social circle to speak of.

yup, you're so right. my congregation had so many cliques it was ridiculous.

was very easy for me to leave. I had no friends and I didn't belong to any stupid clique.

liquidsky

Bondie said

I left because I had no "friends" or social life as a JW.

My entire life as a teenager was exactly that. I had absolutley no freinds or social life as a JW. Once I got out on my own at age 19, I had no communication skills, no social skills and no friends. I had to start my life over at age 19.

garybuss

I stayed a Witness for social reasons no doubt. Plus Witnessism was my core belief. For a while it was easier to stay a Witness than to leave. Then it was easier to leave than stay a Witness.

I had lots of social stuff going on as a Witness, something going on all the time.

Maybe a few here can remember before 1975 the Witnesses got mean. That mean attitude made it easy for me to want to leave. Then they waited until 1992 to start to shun me. The shunning changed me from a silent walkaway to a rather vocal individual:-)

minimus

In the late 70's, during the Ray Franz era, they were "gentler". Now they suck more than ever!!!!

garybuss

I missed that "gentler" phase in late 70's. I walked in 1974. I have talked to Witnesses that said that is true. Then it got meaner than ever in 1981.

The Witness people have been a discouraging lot to me. I am glad to be away from them. Please may they shun me forever.

minimus

1981 was the year they instructed the elders to "tighten up". I thought that was an old song by Archie Bell & The Drells. Once they trained us to look out for any sign of apostasy, we were on the hunt. Even a little rebelliousness or "Jezebel like" influence was not tolerated. Now it's worse but thankfully, people are using their brains and getting out!!

Did You Stay as a Witness Because You Needed a Social Life & "Friends"?

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