MJ...it's a long story--will try to condense it here, but basically I became a JW after I was married. I was mislead at the beginning as to what the status of my husband would be with my religion--told that he was santified through our marriage (didn't tell me he was doomed to die at the big A if I could not drag him into the religion--found this out after I was baptized) Anyway, hubby is a great guy and we had a daughter who we raised together with all love and goodness and she grows up to be a very nice person. I have only one child because I am a JW with an unbelieving mate and I am lead to believe that this is the best thing for me to do. I took her to the meetings and she learned about the JW beliefs and lifestyle, but never bought into it, though she lead a moral life and is a kindly person. She met a nice non-JW man who she fell in love with and they planned on getting married. Elders step in and tell me what a sin it is for her to marry and how she should be looking in the Org for a husband if that is what she wants to do. Catch 22--she is not baptized or a witness thus is not qualfied to marry a brother and doesn't want to in the first place. Elders put pressure on me and tell me it is my responsibility as the believing parent to set the rules. (Daughter is an adult and 21 years old). Elder tells me what an evil thing this is that being married to an unbeliever is like Satan being married to Jesus (so, what is he saying about my hubby?). Also, that my daughter is worthy of having a tent peg driven through her groin and this is how Jehovah feels (explains tent peg through groin bible story) They make a ruling in the congo that nobody should attend the wedding and question my doing so telling me it is a sin for me to support such a thing. They say that this is because even though she is not a witness they prayed about it and the holy spirit revealed to them that she is a witness in her heart and therefore accountable to the same laws as witness. I write the society a letter and they send me back a form letter and basically tell me it is up to my conscious to attend the wedding (I wasn't asking their permission--I was reporting the elders for all the things they were saying to me and what they had done to other people too--the society did not address those issues) . The elders argue the letter and write their own letter to the society. They call the branch and say the branch agrees with them--agrees with them what?--I ask. What are you expecting me to do? Talk to a CO and he tells me that I should do what is right in Jehovah's eyes and then tells me how he has had to "emotionally separate" from his family so he won't feel so bad when they die at the big A and how he and the other elders are concerned by the fact that if Grandchildren come from this marriage I "may" become attached to them thus dividing by heart from the Org. Elder tells me that once my daughter leaves my home she will then be considered to me as "worldly association" they totally leave my husband out of the picture and have no respect for his feelings in the matter. i try to explain to them how if I didn't attend my own daughter's wedding what it would do to my marriage and relaltionship with my family---AND, THEY DON'T CARE. Many in the congo begin to shun my daughter around town causing us point pain--some begin to treat me coldly. The elders ask is they can meet with all of us before the wedding--me and hubby and daughter and future son in law--they want to tell us all their point of view on things. I say no way! They aren't even witnesses! (What right did they have to even ask this?) Elders warn this marriage may stumble some--would be a bad witness to the town (nobody in this town gave a rat's ass that my daughter was marrying a non-JW and though her marriage was a wonderful thing). Oh yeh, in the end the elders told me they got an answer to their letter back from the society --the society had agreed with their point of view, though I never go to see that letter. There is the condensed version of the twisted tale. My daughter was engaged for a year and 1/2 and I was so worn down by the elders by the time she got married I was in a deep depression. If I would have followed the direction of the elders I would've done irreparable damage to my family and this distressed me to the point of suicide. So, to get back to the theme of this thread--are these the kind of people I now want as my friends?
