Survivor, You have a message!
JW SINGLES site shut down due to GUILT!
by Survivor2004 56 Replies latest jw friends
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FlyingHighNow
I could'nt begin to count how many nice, attractive, decent people are stuck in singlehood because their options are limited by these controlling methods!!!!!
Or even much worse, married to people who are completely wrong for them because they married one of the slim pickens. Been there done that. Thank goodness I am divorced now.
Flyin'
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codeblue
Welcome Survivor
The WTBS believes all Interent sites to be apostate but their "official site".
I feel bad for the active Jw's that want to date but can never have the opportunity to date a JW because of their locality or because someone has labeled them as "spiritually weak"....
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frenchbabyface
CodeBlue : or because someone has labeled them as "spiritually weak"....
Yeah that's also kind of crapy sneaky control !
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Nosferatu
I figured this was a great opportunity for a witness, so I fired off the following email:
Hello, I'm not a subscriber nor a member, but I heard your site was being shut down. You have done a great service to lonely people all over the world, and have brought happiness to others which is very rewarding in itself. Even though I'm an ex-JW and I don't agree with many of the Watchtower Society's rules, I think you've done a wonderful thing for JWs everywhere. You've displayed the true spirit of giving without expecting anything in return, much like Jesus did.
I wish you well, and hope you continue making others happy.
Now, I normally don't mention Jesus except when I'm pissed off, but this was an exception. Hopefully it makes him think. I meant everything I said in this email. The poor guy is a slave to an evil organization.
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Country Girl
It's not any different than putting a personal ad in a lonely hearts club magazine, of which I am sure that many have done cuz I have seen them.
Country Girl
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jgnat
Nosferatu, that is EXACTLY the kind of message I would like this poor guy bombarded with. Make him feel really guilty for bowing to the tower.
XQTHAIPOES, you are in error, unless convention speeches have nothing to do with Watchtower policy. I quote ezekiel's excellent study notes, here, and I serve as a second witness, because I heard the same speech:
Walk with God 2004 DC SATURDAY AFTERNOON
2:35 Keep Your Senses Completely Internet dating sites a danger to JWs. May claim to be JW but actually not. Meet in groups. Internet deprives one of personal meeting. Avoid using internet dating sites or personal ads (the audience laughed at that one). Avoid kinesiology, aura healings. Isa 1:13 ?uncanny power? = anything eerie, weird, or mysterious. Warning on business ventures, get-rich-quick schemes, borrowing money from fellow JWs.
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Survivor2004
Hi folks.
Freewillly I got your e-mail,Im looking for what you asked ,(Im very busy building my business,I was always an AMBITIOUS female,the JW,s did not like that)Nosferatu that was very nice of you to send Brian that e-mail for all the good it will do though.
For the person(forget which one) who said that Brian is using The Society as a cop out,I THINK what he REALLY means is the stuffy,nose in the air attitude that he is getting from the brothers and sisters in the congregation.They found out what he was doing and we ALL KNOW how much JW,s love to butt in other people,s business.They are making him feel GUILTY.Its 100% pure garbage!!
The really laughable part is MOST of the stuck up guilt mongers are HAPPILY MARRIED JW,S!!!! They dont give a hoot about any single persons happiness.
When I think that I gave up TWO not one chance at happiness because of the org I can scream. I had two worldy options for marriage when I was a JW(no one asked me out in 7 years,not even a date)The one guy I knew many years back when I worked in his dads factory.He was together mentally ,emotionally ,physically and financially.A real catch.He was not CONTROLLING like so many of the men at the congregation and he appreciated my strong mind and independent spirit.He is now married to someone else.After two years he gave up.Then I met another wonderful man years later.I too brushed him off cause I was SCARED of being SHUNNED. I cant go back and undo the damage.It really hurts sometimes.
Yep single JW,s are up against a real wall. They could actually learn from other churches that have SINGLE DANCES and SINGLE PICNICS and SINGLE PARENTS DAYS and LONEY WIDOW AND WIDOWER brunches like my old Catholic church does.(I was raised Catholic) and let me tell you there are more kind,loving people there than in the stuffy JW congregations where I come from.They all have their own little clicks.Single men did not even want to give me a ride to the hall when My car was down(a single struggling sister) for FEAR something immoral might happen yet men from other churches say HEY! This sister needs a ride to Gods house! I will go and pick her up! What a difference between JW,s and others.
Thats been my experience anyway for many years.
Im also seen as spiritually weak,I was disfellowshipped before,went back,I also have disfellowshipped relatives.I dont stand a chance at ever meeting someone there. :( Im a UNWORTHY piece of garbage as far as their concerned.
Ann
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Neo
Randy, from Free Minds, recently wrote a piece on this subject:
http://www.freeminds.org/dating_and_singles.htm
The Watchtower Society, through personal e-mailing and sometimes by the elders, gives "loving counsel" to brothers who create sites such as this one (which have JW-related content) to shut them down. This is true since the early beginnings of Internet.
Neo
( my introductory thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/76140/1.ashx )
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jws
I certainly would have liked to have the internet and such sites when I was a JW. I know about the cliques and just plain differences in personalities.
While I think a lot of people benefitted in a JW wholesome sort of way, I can certainly see why the site would raise objections from the JW point of view.
First off, look at Survivor2004. She's been inactive as a JW for 5 years, but was on this site for the last 2. So, this site has non-JWs or ex-JWs on it posing as active JWs. I can see why the JW leadership would be concerned. If I were a JW on the site looking for another JW, it would concern me that other people weren't being honest. Honesty should be the first part of a healthy relationship.
Exactly what was Survivor2004 there for? Is it a JW you want to settle down with? One who will scorn you for your rejection of the religion? Or, were you hoping to pull him out? Why not start with somebody who's not a JW? Much easier. Or are you hoping she'll help motivate you to go back? Religion is personal. You shouldn't join or quit just to date/marry somebody. And if you're here, why would you want to go back? Maybe you were on there just for curiosity. I can understand that.
Secondly, from a JW perspective, this sort of thing lacks congregational control. You meet somebody online, it's sort of private. People around you (especially elders) may not even know about it. You can meet online in private, start private e-mails and phone calls, and even meet in some remote location where nobody knows what each of you up to (because they don't even know you're dating). When given the chance to communicate freely, I think JWs might start to get on a path to activities that JWs don't approve of. Contrast this to your typical JW meeting where you meet in public (at a hall,convention,hall building, or an organized JW activity) and the person is probably local. People see you making that connection and take notice. They gossip, they watch you to see how things are going. Makes it harder to get away with things. Under watchful eyes, you don't express yourself openly either. You are forced to be chaperoned. I think the whole secretive and long-distance aspect of internet dating can lead to problems in JW-land.
I'm not saying that secrecy can't be done in old-fashioned methods. The internet just makes it easier. And, in my opinion, joining a "dating service" sort of announces "I need help finding a date". That may be something that people don't want to announce. So, maybe you're not telling people about the person you've met. Throw in the JW stigma about the internet and that's further reason to keep it private. If you're keeping a relationship secret, it gives you the opportunity to get away with more. I think a lot of JWs would give into temptation, given the chance to keep it secret.
I don't mean to sound critical of this whole thing, from my own viewpoint. But I can see how a JW would see it and why they wouldn't like it.