JW SINGLES site shut down due to GUILT! (page 5)

RunningMan

I happen to know both the "M" and the "P" in MP Technologies. "P" was my roommate many years ago. According to him (directly from his mouth), the local elders told "M" that he would not be able to remain as a Ministerial Servant if he did not shut down the site. So, down the site went.

Rabbit

JWS...for crying out loud...do ya' just HAVE to stir up suspicion ?? Come on -- be nice, please...?

She's told us enough -- that she's comfortable with. I certainly did and still do hold back. I don't know that much about you, but, I assume you probably 'reserve' that right, too.

She had another alias -- that doesn't work -- she got another -- so what ?

There are times... when I wish I could 're-invent' myself on this board (if that is what you are trying to hint about her) because of how much pain and agony I was in when I first got here. I may have said more -- too much, about my life at that time.

Please chill out and give 'er a chance...she sounds pretty frustrated right now...if she needs encouragement...fine. Most of the people here are here to do just that.

Survivor2004, Welcome to this board.

There's a lot of good people here who've helped me tremendously. I even attended my first "ApostaFest" in Dallas earlier this year...it was my very first time to have EVER met an X-JW in the 8 long lonely years of being inactive, going thru an un-scriptural divorce w/my JW wife. Then a year ago after meeting a fantastic non-JW gal...I re-married and am happier than ever, even tho' I face "un-Official Shunning" from some of my own children and all my JW relatives, too. Why? Because ...I was only supposed to marry ..."...in the Lord." She is considered as "not Christian" and "an UN-CLEAN THING..." according to the WTS. grrrrrrrrrrrr....! I am not DA/DF !

So, please try and ignore or make friends with the few ole' knotheads we do have here, it's not necessarily their fault -- we are all as Ray Franz put it: "Victims of victims..." And we're all at different stages of pain and healing.

amac

This is a cop out. I and others have had corespodance with the watchtower. They only two sites they endorse are watchtower.org and jw-media.org. They (due to legal reasons) give no oppinion on sites not owned by them and tell you to use your discretion while surfing the internet. So the old men in brooklyn have nothing to do with it. Who ever this guy is he is probally in trouble with his locals.

That's funny, because at my District Convention last weekend, they said that JW internet dating sites are bad. The speaker even mocked it. At the time I thought it was odd, because I could have sworn that in the past the WT has encouraged courting through letters. This speaker criticized internet dating for the same reasons that the WT encouraged letter dating. I could be wrong as I'm going off an old memory and I haven't bothered researching it. Anyone else remember?

minimus

The Society never tries to influence anyone to not go on internet sites.

Survivor2004

Thank you jgnat and Rabbit.

I appreciate your support!.

Yes every forum has good and bad,judgemental,kind,argumentive,funny,serious,nosy,bullying,happy,helpful,etc,.All kinds of personalities. I have been on forums for three years and EXPERIENCE tells me to IGNORE the stressful posters and just mingle with the others.I have enough stress in my life ,the GOOD thing is I have CHOICE as to how much stress I want to put up with adspecially on forums.So now I just ignore what I dont want to read.

Simple. :)

By the way the emoticons dont work for me,I dont know why.

Ann

Survivor2004

I remember going to different halls to WIDEN OUT and meet others adspecially single ones.

I told a sister once and she got a inquisitive,uncertain,pity pot look on her face and said I could not jump from hall to hall looking for a mate,I dont know I think thats kind of you know,DESPERATE.

I said to her but singles here ARE in a desperate state! There are NONE!

I said what the heck is wrong by looking in JEHOVAHS ORGANIZATION for a mate? If you cant find anyone there,eventually you are going to look ELSEWHERE!(The world) Well she didnt say a word.

The GUILT for wanting to find someone you CONNECT with was overwhelming.

Your not allowed to hall hop,that makes you look DESPERATE,ON THE MAKE,ROFL!!!,Your not allowed to use Internet dating,you,ll be mocked and ACCUSED of STUMBLING others.(since when is wanting a mate in the organization stumbling others?????????????) You only have TWO days to meet singles at conventions,so what do you do????Adspecially if your a sister(suppose to wait for the man to make the first move)Are you suppose to walk up to someone,start a conversation and say hey Im single too,want to go for coffee?Get togethers at the hall were ALWAYS full of married couples and families,and one time (oh this had me red)a publication came out on HOW TO MEET OTHERS ON THE CONGREGATION,well it basically said that many singles have shown much conncern at the lack of available mates in certain areas, and they gave some tips(theocratic style) on how to meet others.Their advice just did not work in the REAL WORLD!! lol,and I have seen situations where folks DID meet but because one or both were LABELLED "spiritually weak" they were counceled,the elders interfered and it went no where cause of all the constant interference and stress.(they were both babtized and old enought to marry,about 25)So if your weak or inactive they dont have to marry you right?And,,,they CANT get married in the world,LOL,They COULD go to a JP and get married and keep it non religious but then they would probably be shunned.

If your single in the org expect lots of frustration,heartache and loneliness.

Boy it sure FEELS good to air all this out after lurking for two years!!!LOL Like a burden being lifted(im not one to talk about my problems but keep them to myself)

I dont know whats gotten into me. :)

Ann

jws

She had another alias -- that doesn't work -- she got another -- so what ? There are times... when I wish I could 're-invent' myself on this board (if that is what you are trying to hint about her) because of how much pain and agony I was in when I first got here. I may have said more -- too much, about my life at that time.

I don't really care that she has a new alias and that is not the issue. She said she was new here in one post, but earlier said she was lurking here for 2 years and that only the alias is new. It has a bearing. Because she was not new, I was assuming she was somewhat anti-JW, as most are on this board. If so, I was wondering why an anti-JW person would want to go on a JW singles board to meet other JWs. If she were completely new, I wouldn't have any hints as to what her feelings towards JWs were.

Other than questioning what seemed like a conflict on her part, the rest of the post wasn't meant to talk about her directly or to criticize people who use dating services. I was merely trying to point out why the JWs might have problems with it. I'm not saying I have problems with dating services. I think dating services can be great. I've used them when I was single. I think relationships need compatible personalities to work. You don't always find that by hooking up with somebody at a bar. And on the surface, even a JW dating service would have sounded great to me, if they had them when I was one.

I do think for a loyal JW who wants to stay loyal, there is a risk of using such a service. For some JWs the tendencies to misbehave are there, but they aren't free enough to let anything happen or are too scared to try anything. When you provide them with privacy, anonymity and opportunity, those tendencies to misbehave can surface.

I've also had long-distance relationships. Sometimes there's a lot more sexual tension than when the person is somebody living nearby. And people can be a lot bolder in e-mail than they are in person. I can see how things can escalate.

All I'm saying is I can see both sides of the issue. The site sounds like it could have been very helpful. There aren't a lot of choices for JWs looking for a mate. A lot of JWs it seems, have a slim variety to pick from and try to do the best they can and settle for what they get. But on the other hand, I can see how such a service can have its risks for a JW wanting to stay a JW and why the JW power elite might frown on it.

blondie

g99 1/22 p. 15 How Can I Carry On a Long-Distance Courtship?

Whether courting face-to-face or by phone and letter, avoid being hasty in your decisions.

SYN

bible studies over the phone

God help us! This kind of stuff is the reason why I get down on my knees every day and thank gHod I'm not in that dumb religion anymore. And I'm an athiest!

SYN

Hey Survivor, goodtameetchya,

Yep, I agree with your points. There is only one solution, and it's both terribly simple and terribly hard: GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BORG!

I'm not someone who splits hairs

JW SINGLES site shut down due to GUILT!

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