After leaving the "truth", I learned that most of my friendships in the congregation were just a sham. Nobody was there for me when my life fell apart. All they could see was that I wasn't attending meetings, and therefore I wasn't good enough to associate with. I was, however, a good topic for gossip in the congregation. I have heard so many outrageous rumors that my so-called friends have beein passing around. I also realized that being a witness seriously handicapped me when it came time to make friends in the real world. All through school I avoided friendships with worldly people because..."BAD ASSOCIATIONS SPOIL USEFUL HABITS"!! (Who among us has not had that drilled into their brains?) Even if I could be friends with them at school, my parents most certainly would not allow me to have them over or talk to them on the phone. So, when I left, I felt like this huge dysfunctional mess that could not carry on a normal conversation with a regular person. I feel that growing up as a witness seriously screwed me over as far as making friendships and maintaining them. Okay, I'm done ranting now. Thanks for listening. Hang in there everyone!!
How a JW treats a friend
by Sirius Dogma 12 Replies latest jw friends
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Fire Dragon
Do or did JW teachings bastardize friendships and make them less of value for you?
Absolutely!
I always tried to go out of my way for my friends. I opened my home to them, gave them food/money when they needed it, would be there for them at any time day or night. But let them get df'd and suddenly it couldn't be the same. I always felt bad about it. I always felt that it wasn't right...but you couldn't ever tell anyone you felt that way or thus be shunned and called before the police...er, elders. If the person was still coming to meetings and trying to come back then I would put my hand on their shoulder as they walked by. I'd look to make sure no one was looking and then I'd smile at them or pat them on the back. I wanted them to know they were still loved even though I couldn't talk to them. One of the girls confessed to me later that it had gotten so bad for her that the day they reinstated her she had tried to kill herself!
Since being df'd myself, I have been able to exercise what I believe is the true meaning of friend. I've even experienced it from a couple of folks in the old cong that still talked to me after I was ousted. Those are the ones that I consider friends.
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cyber-sista
glenmore and nb-dfd......welcome....glad you found your way out and landed on this board. lots of good support here. looking forward to hearing more from you....Love, cybs