Did You Ever Attend A Meeting After You'd Left? (page 2)

qwerty

Thanks Angharad, how did nyou guess!?

Qwerty

LittleToe

Eman:
I've not attended one since the morning I left. I was remotely tempted to attend the Memorial, but decided that it wouldn't have served any purpose beyond offense.

Interesting experience, at Twickers...

dh

i've never been since i left. the only time i have been inside a dub hall since leaving was for a funeral once, and that was more like a meeting than anything else.

Sherri

Hi E-Man,

It's been ages since I posted -- really sorry to have missed the BBQ this year. Loved the photos. Maybe next year if I'm still invited??

Anyway, to answer your question, I left the organisation in Feb 87 and was disfellowshipped in May. I also left my husband at the same time. I didn't attend any meetings until the following year's Memorial. I didn't exactly expect to be welcomed with open arms, but some eye contact would have been nice. I was "greeted" by an elder (a wordless greeting) and escorted in my red dress (worn just for the occasion) to the flippin' FRONT ROW. Of course, I'd ditched my songbooks, etc., and someone was nice enough to lend me one. Couldn't sing, though, as my throat felt full of lead. My ex-husband didn't look at me, much less speak. My former best friend (we were so close that I was to be in the delivery room with her when she had her first child) glanced in my direction, then pursed her lips and looked away. Talk about 'turd in the swimming pool'.

When I left that night (still not having spoken to anyone), I knew I would never go back. Even to pass a KH now makes my stomach turn over. That powerful Christian love will get you every time.

Sunspot

NOPE!

I made my own "resolution" to never step into a KH ever again once I left! I have enough recurring nightmares about finding myself in them as it is.

Great post, Eman!

hugs,

Annie

Robdar

I went to the KH many times after I left because of my parents. To be honest, sometimes I missed the brothers and sisters too. Now, the only time I go is if Athanasius is visiting and we decide to go to the hall disguised as curious worldly people. We do that so as to witness to the witnesses. We count the time on our monthy reports also.

Sunnygal41

Like I told my mom, who is still in........"Been there, done that, and found that they don't have what I want". And, considering the extremely judgemental attitude and gossip and "gloating" I've heard about, I would not give them the honor of my presence. Why go into a poisonous, negative atmosphere if you don't have to? I will never give them my power ever again. They can all kiss my ass.

Terri

Evesapple

I went a few times for family sake....I couldn't stand it. The talks were so mundane, it was as if someone finally took the blinders off, and I could see everything just as it is. I remember one talk some visiting speaker gave a talk about sisters dress, and how they shouldn't wear short skirts or do anything to encourage the brothers since it's hard enough in the world as it is....I was appalled, and I told my mother, I think she had to agree he was a little over the top, but she had to find some justification for it. I couldn't wait to leave. That was the last time I set foot in any kingdom hall again.

I also attended a memorial with my boyfriend, we split a bottle of wine before going, that made it a little more bearable.

Sentinel

Once I made the decision, I never went back to any KH meetings, Assemblies, etc. I never had the desire and even though I was feeling emotionally unstable, I knew that I had to find my way on my own. In 2001 I was visiting my mom (who has since passed away), and she wrote me before my visit to "think" about attending the meetings with her while I was there. This was during a period of time where we were actually communicating with each other. Of course, out of respect, I never got into a religious discussion, because she would immediately put up that wall.

I gently exlplained in a letter back to her that I appreciated her invitation and would give it consideration. Many things went through my head as I thought it out. For instance, I thought "what the heck, if it will make her feel good to have me go with her, I could probably do that". On the other hand, I knew this would send a message to her that "I was still worth trying to save", and I didn't want that pressure or stress. Even though I wasn't df'd, I had certainly da'd myself in no uncertain terms. Once I arrived, I explained to her that I decided that it would serve no purpose for me to go with her. I explained that I certainly didn't want her to think that I had "changed my mind" in any way or that "suddenly I would decide to return to the fold".

I told her that it wasn't like visiting a "regular religious group" where people weren't judged for coming and going, but welcomed anyway. After all, she had no doubt clued everyone in to the fact that I was truly lost and doomed to destruction--so they wouldn't be able to speak to me. Why would I open myself up to being rejected by a group of people who had already judged me. I explained that it wasn't a matter of my weakness or sinfulness; it was a matter of my no longer believing what they taught as "truth". I explained how important it was for me to be true to my own "self". I know it hurt her to hear that from me; but she said she understood, and in fact, she didn't go to one meeting the entire seven days I stayed with her. I thought that was odd.

/<

Balsam

Well let me share my interesting visits to the KH after I was disfellowshipped for running off with a Lost Love from my teen years. I had been married for 30 years to a JW ministerial servant, when I up and left him. Well I moved across the country from North Carolina to Washington State. Well I was still ate up, to some degree, with the teachings of the JW's. And I actually thought someday I would go back because I still believed in it. Well when I got to Washington, Howard my beloved was very supportive and loving and said he would go with me to the KH if I wanted to go. He had actually found out where it was at and the times. Well we go and honest, truthful person I was, I go in with him and proceed to announce to some who greet us, "Hi This is Howard and I hope you will make him welcome, I'm Ruth but I'm disfellowshipped." Well the first time that happen a chick in her 20's starting screaming. Which totally freaked me and Howard out. We went to about say 4 meetings in a period of 2 1/2 months. The world spread that I was disfellowshipped there, but some did honestly try to be friendly to Howard. Of course Howard thought it was bizarre how they treated me sitting right next to him. He thought it was all just rude, and no matter how I explained it to him he remained unconvienced.

Then we moved to North Carolina 55 miles from my orginal congregation which disfellowshipped me. Well it just so happen that there was people there who knew me for many years. One Elder's wife I had pioneered with, came up and hugged me because she had heard of my son Dak dying. Well I told her I was disfellowshipped and wanted her to make Howard welcome. Well she glared at him as though he was some aweful vermon who had crept in. She never spoke to me again, but her husband did. She would make eye contact with me though and smile. They did make sure I got the current magazines and literature. Anyway we went to say 3 sunday meetings there, until one day they were having a WT study on Jesus. The incredible mercy he had on the people who suffered. One was about the woman who had the 20 year blood flow, was considered unclean, not allowed into public, and how she touched Jesus garment hem and was healed. The kindness Jesus showed her. Well my beloved Howard turned and said to me so why are JW treating you so vilely when they should be reaching out to you and helping you? After all you lost a child due to their blood policy. Well his thinking of this got me to thinking. I had always accepted my disfellowshipping as entirely just, shunning I just accepted as part of it. But then I realized how they did nothing to help those who had slid through the cracks. They did not rescue the lost sheep. I went to one Memorial after that a year later, and went to a congregation where no one knew me. We sat on the front row and no one knew I was disfellowshipped. Oddly enough no one even came up to us and was friendly. But I did pass the emblems, but only because they did not know. By then I had come to understand that the teachings concerning the anointed was incorrect. The Memorial and all of the teachings of JW were by then meaningless. I had gone only because my youngest son felt I should go. He at the time was still active in the JW's. Now he is out and he and his brother did attend the Memorial this last year at their Dad and New Step-Mom urging. Now my oldest son is disfellowshipped as of a month ago.

I've never been to another meeting in over a year. No reason to go. My dear Lost Love husband and I was joined in marriage by a very nice preacher we had met from a Christian church nearly 2 years ago. The church folks celebrated our marriage with us. It was nice, and no one shunned us there. I no longer attend churches though, can't say I feel a need for them anymore.

Anyway the gal screaming in Washingtron was really weird. It was like we had walked in with the plague and she was going to die from speaking to us. Really showed the fear that JW are plagued with when it comes to their view point of disfellowshipped and disassociated folks.

Sometimes I get these weird urges to attend an assembly just to hear what they are feeding the poor flock. But I would not want to be around anyone I've known in the past. Don't think I could stand to sit through it anymore. No matter how entertaining it might would be. LOL

Ruth

Did You Ever Attend A Meeting After You'd Left?

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