Why my view of the witnesses changed

by nevergotwet 16 Replies latest jw experiences

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  nevergotwet

  As I explained in my first thread I left when I was 18, but first started doubting at the age of 11, after a specific incident. I'd like to tell that story now. Sorry if it seems long-winded, but I've only just been dealing with this one, and I've been carrying it round for 20 years. But here goes...

  Picture the scene: An April Saturday afternoon, just after the end of the special assembly day programme. My congregation was on the rota for assembly-hall cleaning and our car-group was driven by Brother Super-Elder, so we were all in for an extra hard dose of scrubbing. Great fun for the 11 year old nevergotwet!

  Before beginning my bout of cleaning, I needed to ?use the lovingly-provided facilities?. So I excused myself from the group and made my way to the men's room.

  As I was just finishing off, the door swung open, and in staggered a man, almost on the point of collapse, made it to the basin, where he was taken extremely ill. This man was clearly in need of medical help, and I did not know what to do. My first thought was find someone who does. So being one of ?Jehovah's little helpers? I thought: ?I know, I'll go and tell an elder, he'll know what to do."

  I was panicked by this man's difficulties, but as I exit the men's room, I spot someone who took one of the assembly parts that afternoon. Knowing that he was more than likely an elder, I approached him.

  I said to him that there was a man in the toilet, that he was very ill and needed first aid.

  The ?loving shepherd? replies: ?can't you see I'm busy!?

  I cried with panic and worry and went to find my mum, who was tucked away in the depths of the hall. I never told her about this, I was too upset.

  I often think about that man and whether he got the help he needed ? and sometimes I think maybe I could have done more to aid him.

  After that experience, I never looked at elders in the same light again. I was scared of them after that (strangely, even after I left), but now I just feel contempt.

  Thanks for letting me vent.
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  seeitallclearlynow

  Hi nevergotwet, good story, and I'm sure many of us have similar accounts we could relate that reveal the insensitivity of various elders and other "Glorious Ones" as some of them love to call themselves every chance they get. Many elders are very caring just like many publishers and pioneers, but still, since they are our "leaders" and exemplars, we have a right to expect them all to be that way, at least in general if not at all times.

  Thanks for sharing that! Some people simply dismiss children anyway. They are contemptible.
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  JH

  Often, brothers and sisters are either sick or poor or very old, and they also need help, but the good witnesses are too busy going door to door, just so that their monthly report will look good.

  That elder's reaction shows that he fears the organization more than God.
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  kls

  Ahh the love and compassion of the JWS , It never fails to amaze me how uncaring this cult can be. I would never look at them the same either. You as a kid had the mind to do what you are told to do ,tell an adult and that is what you do.
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  little witch

  It is such accounts heard and witnessed that I knew something was terribly amiss at an early age. No compassion. Even a child see's it is so.

  Welcome to the board, and thanks for sharing your story for us...
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  nevergotwet

  seeitallclearlynow:

  Many elders are very caring just like many publishers and pioneers, but still, since they are our "leaders" and exemplars, we have a right to expect them all to be that way

  I agree. I freely admit that the incident has clouded my view of elders and I am sure there were some who genuinely cared. My memories of them always seem to be negative though.

  Some people simply dismiss children anyway. They are contemptible.

  I couldn't agree more. It is shameful to brush the concerns of children aside - no matter how trivial.
• 

  Terry

  The quality of personality or characteristic that bugged me the most was that of DEFLECTION.

  When you asked a question or made a statement that required an analytical response; the result was deflected. It wasn't dealt with. It was set off on a tangent and the issue was reframed.

  Once the subject was completely reframed, then and only then did the other person (JW) give you a response. Naturally that didn't do any good at all.

  I asked a brother the following question: "If the earth was created for man; why all those millions of dinosaurs eating each other?"

  I promise you I will not exaggerate the brother's response (he was an elder).

  "I've got a few million microscopic creatures living up my ass and I don't know why they are there either. It doesn't make any difference to my salvation,"

  Was I stunned? Did that end the conversation?

  Yes. And, Yes.

  Terry
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  shera

  I'm not surprized at all.I know there would have been elders that would have helped.To tell you what I think,the more loving and helpful elders,any JW's...all leave,or are considered weak.
• 

  Neo

  shera,

  the more loving and helpful elders,any JW's...all leave,or are considered weak.

  Bingo! Which one would last longer as an elder? The elder who is truly loving and concerned or the one who said ?can't you see I'm busy!??

  nevergotwet,

  Yes, a small incident like this one in your childhood can make a lot of difference. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  Terry,

  DEFLECTION is the perfect word to describe what we've seen in our experiences as JWs. You just can't make a conversation move forward when you bring a doctrinal point. If you insist upon a subject, guess what will happen?

  Neo
• 

  codeblue

  love, yes the love........that identifies JW's as having the true religion........right???????????

  It is suppose to, but unfortunately they fall very short in that department.

  I have had quite a few disappointments with my moves.....it is an international problem: They don't show love.

  Take care,

  Codeblue