JW's and interracial marriage?

by c.dawn 32 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Sassy

  are you calling me a chocolate lover??

  oh yeah I am!

  and no.. no one said anything about it, although I called off the engagements for good reasons (none having to do with race!)

  as far as predjudice.. even though it is less so than in other groups.. there is still some. I had people question why I would marry outside my race.. or harass me about the 'zebra' thing..

  and I attended a hall back in the 80s in Indianapolis where purposely (not because of seat assignment) most of the blacks sat in the back of the hall and whites in the front. My ex husband and I sat where ever... we got to know everyone. When we mentioned someone from say the back of the hall we met to someone, they said they didn't know who they were..........then said.. Oh, they must sit in the back of the hall! We were flabergasted that they didn't mix..
• 

  XQsThaiPoes

  My mom grew up in the south were segregation was law. The JW there were not allowed to have integrated halls. According to her they would have a brother watch for the police and if the cops came up he would signal the every one to make sure the blacks and whites were pooperly divided. It was like musical chairs according to her. I dont know if they were ever fined for being integrated. They were segregated according to her to keep the police from beating up the black brothers. Not because the JWs white were racist. Most halls were glad to get rid of segregation. Back then the racial tension mixed with being a small eccentric upstart religion really brought the heat on it was almost like the situation in russia. So the brothers she claimed had all kinds of schemes to appear more segregated than they were.

  And to tell the truth the JW marriage situation is so desprate because there are less JW men than women. If you are a man it is prefered you marry someone from your own hall and you can marry who ever you want as long as she is not the "new sister". The next criteria if you marry outside your hall is some one your own race, area, and age (hispanic does not count as a "race" here because many almost 50% of californias are hispanic). The reason is it is seen as depriving the sisters of your race, area, and age of a 'elligible' marriage mate. Of coarse none of this matters on how people think of your realationship it just keep you out of gossip like...

  "Did you hear Brother Local Blackman married Sister Young Asian from the Other Circuit?"

  "Really I thought he was going to marry Sister african Queen they have been close friends for years."

  "Yeah so did Sister African Queen. You know they dated? I heard Sister Young Asian just got baptize last assembly, and she is like 10 years younger than him too"

  "Figures.I wonder what the elders thought about that?"

  "He told the elders he was never formaly engaged sister African Queen."
• 

  Gerard

  I don't know where they stand today but take a look at their historical racial attitudes:

  http://quotes.watchtower.ca/race.htm
• 

  Gretchen956

  My only experience has been in the NW US, and I have not encountered racism at ALL. In fact from the time I was small our congregation and others I went to stated many times from the platform that the unity between the races was one of the ways you could tell it was the "truth". In the early 70s I had a dear dear friend who was a black man. My parents thought we were dating and sat me down and gave me the talk about how I should expect not everyone would be as liberal to accept that type of thing and I should really be aware of what I was getting into in that regard but that the decision was entirely up to me. I assured them that Charles and I were just good friends but that if it were a black person that I fell in love with it would have no bearing on my decision. I was surprised to even have the congregation but didn't really view it as them discouraging me so much as them trying to alert me to a potential problem (which I didn't agree was a problem, but thats beside the point).

  But having said that, we had a black sister in our congregation in the 60s in Montana, she was VERY well loved by everyone. She adopted my oldest brother and myself as her "kids." She ended up fading, and my brother and I left too, so after being shunned by our "real" mother, Thelma became our REAL mother. She never let a day go by but what she told us how wonderful we were and how much she loved us, and she really taught us both the real meaning of unconditional love. She was biracial too, half Jewish German and half black, let me tell you that woman could mix her attitude and lay it on you with a heavy load of guilt if she thought you needed a "talking to." I lost her at age 86 two years ago and I miss her every day.

  So no, this has not been my experience at all and I'm really surprised. I have heard a lot of things about the witnesses but this one does surprise me.

  Sherry
• 

  Gretchen956

  I just thought of something else. I can't remember the exact year, but it was back when we stayed at private homes during the district conventions. At any rate we went to one in Pasedena and were staying with a black family in Watts during the time of all the unrest, must have been right before or right after the riots. I remember going to the gas station on the way out, all these black folk staring at us like we were nuts because we stopped in to get gas, they waited on us, it wouldn't have even occurred to us to think that they might discriminate against us because we had always had so many good good friends, etc that were black and that sort of thinking didn't even occur to us. Also its not like now when you're overloaded with current events. We were pretty insulated in Libby Montana and didn't get to the big city much.

  Sherry
• 

  lisavegas420

  I can't think of any black and white issues with any of the Kingdom Halls I've ever attended. But my dad made it quite clear that a mixed relationship in his family would not be accepted.

  Also, I remember a black brother kept asking my sister out. She kept saying no, because he was a strange man. He went to the elders and complained that she wouldn't date him because he was black. THey asked my sister about it. She told the elders she was not interested in dating him, and it had nothing to do with his color. The issue was dropped.

  Lisa
• 

  Maverick

  I became a Nit-Witness in Florida in the 70's, the single thing I found most appealing was the lack of racism. I moved to So Cal in the 80's and saw a lot of mixed marriages. They had some of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. My current girlfriend is black and I must admit I do find black women very attractive, and the darker they are the better! Maverick, a little old short white guy.
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  RR

  A friend of my wife, who is black married a white bethelite. The brother had high hopes, when he was engaged, governing body member George Gangas told him "don't marry her, you'll be committing suicide." he married her anyway, and to this day, they're doing menial task at bethel, so much fo his aspirations of being a CO/DO.

  RR
• 

  Insomniac

  Having lived in a bunch of different areas in the US, I have encountered just as many viewpoints about the race issue:

  In Hertford, NC, I was told that the halls were segregated into the '60s, not because the witnesses wanted it that way, but because of the law, and for safety reasons. When the congs integrated, some locals supposedly burned a cross on the lawn of the hall- don't know if this was true, or just an embellishment. In that hall, while I saw no overt hostility, there was also no mixing: there was a white get-together, and a black get-together, held on the same day, and it was just something nobody talked about. For the record, I hung with the blacks, because my two best friends were black girls I went to school with, and as soon as this became apparent, I stopped getting invited to join the white social group. Their loss, I say. My crowd was way more fun.

  In Austin, Bastrop, and Smithville Texas, we had a lot of different races/nationalities, and no one seemed to care. I dated a terrific Mexican brother for a while, and my brother married a Central American sister. I got twitted about the 20-year age gap, but the race thing was a non-issue.

  In Maine, there are very few people of color. A white sister I knew (she's no longer a witness) was corresponding with a black brother, and there were a lot of raised eyebrows and comments to the effect that apparently, it was the best she could do. I don't know how it ended, but I hope they married and are happy.

  In my last cong, a very beautiful and gracious lady from Africa (sorry, not sure which country) was engaged to marry my white cousin, who had just been appointed elder, right about the time I left. I did not socialize much with witnesses at that point, so I'm not sure how people felt about the couple. I do know that my cousin and his bride would not have cared what anyone thought, they were so in love they glowed.

  I guess witnesses are like any group of humans as far as that stuff goes- products of their culture, upbringing, and personal experiences.
• 

  mordenukboy

  you mean they let people get married where you live ?

  wow ill have to move , they put us under sex arrest down here and the cop shop gets the reports.