Does Being Around "Gay" People "Bother" You??

by minimus 170 Replies latest members adult

  • dh
    dh
    I like your analogy.. if you liken the above with not wanting to hang out with a gay person, it shows how petty is really is..

    obviously i don't have friends that i don't get along with, otherwise they wouldn't be friends, and there are some things i find unattractive about a persons character, no matter how good everything else is, and that will put me off them altogether, likewise some things about me will put people off me altogether, and i accept that. it may be petty, but that is the nature of people, or maybe it's the nurture. not everyone will admit it, but birds of a feather do flock together, just there are lots of different feathers.

    for example: to look at me (but don't touch my ass) i am a white guy with a tan, raised in the uk, raised a jw, but i struggle to mingle with white british people, my brother is the total opposite (he has gay friends and his friends are mostly white socialite drinking, pubs etc), i just don't like being around the people he does, for me it's like culture shock, i don't drink or smoke cigarettes (though valis knows i will smoke other things, haha), and i am pretty reseved around english people i don't know, i find very little in common in the things that we do or have done in life, not always, but generally our nature is different, thought processes, and as such i don't have any white christian friends in my real life at all, not because of prejudice, just because that's the nurture of my life.

    explanation: in school i was a jw, i didn't go into assembly, the muslim kids didn't go into assembly, i didn't do xmas, they didn't do xmas, my life was strict, theirs was strict, they didn't come back to school on monday at the age of 14 talking about how they'd got drunk at the weekend, neither did i, so my friendships developed with people who were getting the same deal as me, from childhood to adulthood, when the shit hit the fan in school, i saw at a young age who would run and who would stand, so i stood with those who stood and they stood with me, and though it was rockey and i have been through shit because of it, even prejudiced against by white racist people because i would stand by a non white friend over a person of the same skin colour as me, came to blows many times and worse, i can say that i have people around me, even when i am 10,000 miles away that i can trust implicity, with money, life, well being, and they trust me with the same, with their children and family, they are a different religion to me, they are a different culture, different colour, different everything, but we have that thing inside us, that even if you can't win, you still stand up, it might not look nice all the time or be perfect, but it's a sort of integrity.

    in later life: the character traits of the people i became friends with were predominantly the same nationalities/religions as the ones i shared with the guys i went to school with, i never agreed with the religion, but that didn't matter because there was more to it, it's funny, for me walking into a room full of people like that, their culture, religion, everything, though i am totally the odd one out in their eyes, i am actually more comfortable there than among a group of white people in a pub. this is the a little like a black kid being raised by white parents and being more comfortable around white people. but it's only in a social environment that i feel like this, in business it makes no difference at all because that is just straight talk.

    a note to add to this: is that through MY life experience i have seen that the person who accepts everything and has an 'anything goes' attitude (like generally p/c people) will get eaten alive when the shit really hits the fan, away from the safety of the western societies, such people (the ones i have seen) have no integrity when it comes to real pressure, or even just standing up and saying what you think in a room full of people who think the opposite, taking a beating, not ratting out, etc etc, but then most people will never get into those situations in life, because it's the whole deal of what we have been through, lifestyle, childhood, everything that makes us who we are, and you cannot undo that, and who would want to? we are who we are and we are all different.

    -

    but also as i said before, i do think the basic first contact is down to preference and if you don't have the desire to seek out gay friends, or black ones, you won't, and more importantly, you don't need to, i of all people know this, because though i am sure i will make new friends in life, of different nationalities, skin colours etc, i know that i do not need to, it is just something that will happen in due course if it is meant to.

    ..speaking of pettiness, capitalize you "I's"!!

    i like my lower case 'i' becuase i am a low key kinda guy.

  • Gretchen956
    Gretchen956

    dh, you say you would not seek out gay friends. Well let me point out to you that not all gays belong to the stereotype of effeminate males or masculine females. I for one do not always get pegged by people's gaydar. I would imagine that you may have more gay acquaintances than you know about. Not all of us are out of the closet, in fact some quite rightly don't mention it at all. It's quite easy, in getting to know a person, to find out how they feel on a given subject. Afterwards it seems it would not be prudent not to bring that up about ourselves if a person was "uncomfortable" or even outspoken about gays we would just not mention it. After getting to know us, who we are, if you do find out that a friend or acquaintance is gay and you STILL react by cutting off the friendship, then it just goes to show the shallowness and fear of that type of thinking.

    We aren't a threat to you, and trust me, just because you are male a gay guy does NOT want to grab your ass. That type of thing has always blown me away. Why do people think (and I'm not saying you do, just wondering out loud) that because a person is gay they are automatically going to be attracted to EVERYone of the same gender. Give me a break. That is the most egocentric thing I have ever encountered.

    Sherry

  • dh
    dh
    I would imagine that you may have more gay acquaintances than you know about.

    i have none. (except those on jwd) to think otherwise would only be in imagination, yours or anyone elses.

    the comment about grabbing my ass was a joke.

    i do realise that not all gay men fit a stereotype, and not all lesbians look like bull dykes. i never said they did or were, my post was to explain some things about the nature of people and why we develop the way we do, why i have developed the way i have, and that just as you are comfortable with the way you are, and in dealing with the tests your life brings you, i am comfortable with the way i will handle the tests my life brings me.

    i said i would not seek out gay friends... so what? i wouldn't. i wouldn't seek out friends from all kinds of sections of society, so what? it's not a big deal, i just admit it. you wouldn't seek out the sort of friends i have either, it doesn't matter. what matters is that when i do come across these people, any people, in day to day life, i am civil.

    sorry, this is the second edit, i had to add. this notion that people who don't seek gay friends are afraid of homosexuals is absurd. please explain to me how the existence of homosexuals could possibly threaten me? or any straight person? we're just different. even if a gay guy did like my ass, so what?

    i said don't seek friends from loads of sections of society, not just homosexuals, it's preference, choice, all this i explained already, thinking it is out of fear is just something i hear gay people say, i've never met a straight person who was afraid of homosexuals? have you?

    edited to add stuff

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Sherry:Yeah, I'll vouch for that. I've been hitting on you for months, but thought you were just blowing me off because of my facial hair! It's the blonde thing, really, isn't it?

  • Xena
    Xena
    It's the blonde thing, really, isn't it?

    it's NOT BLONDE...it's RED (well ok strawberry blonde)

  • ohiobigboy
    ohiobigboy

    What wonderful posts (from those of you who aren't homophobic) to see since I am a gay Ex-JW!

    You guys and gals rock! It's great to feel the love

    Try growing up in the truth and knowing you are gay from the age of 7. I could write a book LOL

    Anyway we just want to be treated like every other human on this earth and be able to love who we love and have the same rights as heterosexuals. That's the bottom line.

    I hope in time there are more people like all of you in this world!

    One added thing to remember to those of you who say they don't seek out gay people to befriend...your best friend may be gay and you don't even know it! Please try and remember that sexual preference does not dictate what kind of person you are so you might be missing out on a wonderful friendship if being around gay people bothers you. People are people, sexual preference aside, good or bad. (I know some gay people I would never want to know for the simple reason they are bad people) So please don't use the equation GAY=BAD to generalize all of us. There are bad people in all walks of life.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    If your beard is really that colour I'm afraid I'm going to have to shun you. It's so passe...

  • Xena
    Xena

    don't be a hater LT

    This has been a really interesting thread, I'm enjoying the open dialog. I think it's good if people have issues, concerns or different viewpoints they feel comfortable airing them. That is how change is effected, in my opinion anyway.

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    It does not bother me at all. I have gay friends and their sexual orientation hardly ever crosses my mind. It's such a non issue.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Xena:
    Hater!!!!!
    You're only saying that because you reckon I've got a red beard, too!!!
    ~takes the huff~

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