Fran:
I'm a little tired, so please forgive my wording.
Thank-you for your explanation and in a way I am in the same place as you are now. I no longer feel the need to belong to an organization and certainly would never be involved with the WTBTS (or similar) as I used to be. My involvement now, is by way of helping those fading away to have me as a friend and support if needs be.
The feeling I had last year especially was fantastic and the synchronicity I felt, awesome. I realize that I am not alone with these feelings and just before my own experiences began, I started to associate with a small group who were open minded about faith and beliefs (aside from the one guy who wants to be a JW again - another long story!) and these people helped me exorcize various demons of the mind.
I am at the moment trying to level myself out belief wise and gambol through different theories searching, endlessly searching - yet retaining an openness that was formerly held down by dogmatic patterns of thought.
It was this openness and partially an acceptance of the reality of life and death (my death) that lead to a deeper sense of connectivity with the world around me and also far more compassion towards others.
When I say 'my death' - I mean in the sense of extracting myself from the fantasy world of the JWs ... where my former hope of 'life everlasting' on the earth was pretty much the only reason I sought God. I believe I had to die internally speaking in order to return back to a state of near-normality - I hope that makes some kind of sense, I am tired
I have gone through intense periods of depression and despair, yet feel this a necessary part of rebuilding my personality and also at these times, staying in touch with the greater reality (that I subjectively believe in - 70% of the time ).
.... that is where I'll leave my monologue for tonight and believe me, if I learn anything else about Nigel & Mary, I'll post it somewhere. I know Nigel relatively well and believe me, the man is full of himself ! Let us assume for a moment that demons/evil spirits are real and are involved ... well, I would say that they may be having a bit of fun with the guys ego. As for Mary, I can only feel sorry for her from afar.