Dating a JW when you are not (page 6)

Lady Lee

I don't know if you are still here and reading but if so you might want to check out this link

XQsThaiPoes

*** w02 5/1 p. 17 Jehovah Hates the Course of Treachery ***.

Still, if the unbeliever stays in his or her unbelief, what will happen to that one when God shortly brings this system to an end?

This is a fallacy of presumption. The watchtower teaches that at the end everyone alive will believe in Jehovah's Soverignty. So they can't stay with their unbelief. They also teach at the end of the system everyone will be judged by how they treated christ brothers (the anointed JWs).

This is the problem the watchtower they will try to shape your belief by askng leading questions even if they are previously provided an answer.

Black Sheep

I must say that much of what Leolaia describes about her childhood fits my childhood, even though both of my parents were JWs.

After getting out nearly 30 years ago, I still have problems that stem back to that upbringing, and I wouldn't wish that on any child.

redhat7

dont feel like you must do something, there is no hurry. somtimes the best thing to do is be patient and wait. it will all become clear to you sooner or later. even if you have to wait for years to make the right decision, its better than making the wrong decision in relationships.

Abaddon

Would you be involved with a Mormon, a Moonie, a follower of David Koresh, a beliver in that weird-ass UFO suicide cult?

Those are all cults and so are JW's. You could take the nicest man in the world, sick him in one of those, and UNLESS you were also a member of the same cult you would have a recepie for unlimited grief.

With your boyfriend you have the added complexity of him deciding what he gets to obey and not obey (of the JW rules). This year attending birthdays is a no-no, last year it was okay. But getting involved with a non-WItness always seems to be okay for him. Although technically speaking, he is doing wrong (according to JW beliefs) and he knows it.

Why?

If he gets involved with a JW girl he has less hassle in his life. As he isn't perfect (who is?) and he uses this is an excuse for not being a proper Witness, anything he can do to make himself conform more would be a help, but no, he has to, for the second time actively seek a relationship with a worldly woman. Oh, that's you by-the-way. You are labelled by any Witness as that even if it is not to your face.

Why?

Well, he obviously doesn't fit into the cult (I can sympathise with that as when I left it was for similar feelings of inadequacy) but he equally obviously doesn't know enough about them to detremine it is a cult, and that it is all made-up and he will not die in Armagedon if he leaves.

That's why he is staying close enough so he thinks he can get back in properly if Armagedon came (with or without you), and far enough out to make him feel like he's living an ordinary life (whilst ripping yours apart). He also obviously doesn't have the strength to leave. It took me years. It is difficult.

But right now he is playing what he believes to be god for a fool (by pretending to be a Witness when it is convenient and easy... but not enough to refuse to be intimate with you (like he should under their rules). Does he think (don't worry, I don't believe, this is a viewpoint question for him) like god won't see it?

He can only change his pattern of living if he realises it is not true. Then he can live life like a normal human being, not like a cat that has pissed on the floor and is waiting nervously for it's owner to shout at it. That's his life at the moment; he know's he is weak and he can't live life Jehovah's way, he tries to form normal relationships but stays close enough to the Witnesses so (he probably argues to himself) "When things get really bad just before the end I can sort my act out in time".

That 'sorting out' would be with or without you. He's stayed near that damn cult his entire life 'cause he thinks it's true, if he thought Armagedon was coming next week you would be history unless you were with him on his knees in the Kingdom Hall.

You are partially you to him, but you are also a 'worldly woman' and a way of him making himself feel normal.

You can change the pattern and save the man by helping him see it is a cult.

If he refuses to see it, you're better of without him for he will hurt you.

If he sees it you get you man and save his life at the same time.

Good luck, and remember yourself.

Country_Woman

I was involved (babtised) for 5 years in total - I was never sucked in that deep, that I was not thinking for myself.

But during that time I learnt a lot re the organisation, and it was not positive at all.

Do you realise that your husband is the head of the family ? and being a JW he is believing that.

that means that he is obliged to bring his children in "The Truth" you can try to learn them otherwise, but he will take them to the meetings - and I am afraid they will be brainwashed before you are able to let them see the other side of the medal.

Every marriage will have times of difficulties, but JW & not JW is asking for troubles.

Dating a JW when you are not