I need some help

New Castles

I have been reading and posting (sometimes) for about 7 months and am very grateful to have found a community that understand what I have been going through. I have been fading for a little over a year now, and have a sudden urge to speak out about how I feel and what WTS is doing. I have tried this in the past with some family, including my wife, who is no longer with me, for the same reason....I have also spoken to my brother and mother. I need help or advice on how to go about with this new urge to speak the real truth. "The best of" forum has helped with providing some info, but I'd like to know what would be the best way to approach the subject, especially with my folks, that I am no longer a JW (I dont consider myself one anymore)....

Any ideas would surely be appreciated..

Thanks

Netty

I will be eagerly waiting to hear responses on this, (sure you will get great ones). I have been thinking of doing the same thing, although I have been faded, forever. I want to share with my parents especially how I feel about the whole JW thing, but everytime I think about how I would approach it, and what ALL there would be to say, I get so overwhelmed, I just say forget it.

Mysterious

The problem is that unless the person has doubts themselves the dub training just causes their minds to shut down when faced with serious questions. If you bring up issues like that it might also cause then to feel they need to shun you to protect their spiritual health.

confusedjw

Are you DF'd or have reason not to be? You *might* just want to supress the urge until a time when you know someone has doubts and they come to you. Just a thought. If you do want to say something: "I wonder why only JW's teach that Jerusalem was destroyed in 607 and all of the rest of the world teaches 587 with over 10,000 pieces of history to back it up?"

BluesBrother

It sounds odd to have to ask this kind of question, but i know what New Castles means. The fact is that dubs rarely talk about their faith ,out of study and service time, so it is left to the likes of us to raise the subject. Short of going in cold, like :- "Are you still waiting for Armageddon then? , it is kind of difficult and opportunities are few.

Country Girl

Hi New Castles:

There's so many different reactions you could get. Anger, sadness, shunning.. etc. It's hard to predict for someone that doesn't know your family. Only you can reasonably predict how they will act, adn then maybe not. I would just let them bring the subject up with *you*, and then politely tell them that you have doubts about the veracity of the whole thing, and that while you respect their choices, they should respect your need for time to work out the whole thing in your own mind. You might also want to add that you'd not care to discuss religious things while you are with them, that you want to focus on your relationship with them. Assure them of your complete love and devotion, and let them know that when the time is right, you will let them know how you feel.

I do understand your need to get the truth out about the truth, but like Mysterious brought up, they are programmed to just "shut down" when faced with issues that would cause cognitive dissonance in a reasonable thinking individual that is not brainwashed. You will rarely get anywhere with anyone when they are taught to automatically discard any information presented to them which does not fit into the pre-programmed mold. You may want to think about how to plant a seed in a gentle and subtle way without raising alarm bells.

Good luck.

Country Girl

indoubt

New Castles,

You might want to grab a copy of a book entitled "Releasing the bonds - Empowering people to think for themselves", by Steve Hassan (http://www.freedomofmind.com/).

From the website: Steven Alan Hassan, cult counselor and mind control expert is a Nationally Certified Counselor and licensed Mental Health Counselor and has developed a breakthrough approach to help loved ones rescue cult mind control victims. He is a former member of the Moon cult.

Nearly half of the book discusses a technique called the "Strategic Interaction Approach" to help cult members . This strategy shows how one can help friends or family members by first trying to find common grounds (is it just me, or did I see a similar strategy in my latest kingdom ministry?)

Seriously, I found this book extremely informative. I am in a simlar situation (faded, but my wife still going strong), and was able to apply the strategy when discussing with my wife. She is not out yet, but has growing doubts and starts realizing what the "love" in the congregation really is.

One comment: I noticed that it is very easy to get in heated arguments when discussing about doctrines and beliefs. And when this happens, it leads to nowhere except frustration. In my opinion, you will have much better results by not attacking their beliefs directly, but by asking them questions that will (hopefully) give a jump-start to their thinking abilities (as in confusedjw's example).

Good luck!
indoubt

New Castles

Thanks everyone,

I know I should suppress the urge, but its just there all the time. I have just recently found out about the 607 date being false and I thought of using that with them. Isn't a shame that this religion makes families go through this??

Im excited about everything that is happening and yet not able to share with any of my family.

ApagaLaLuz

Hiya Castles! I can relate to what you're feeling. I had already left and been out for a while when I found this place. And I continued on my quest for information on the JW organization. After many falsehoods being exposed I felt I HAD to share it with my family. I wrote them a long letter telling them about everything from 607, to Silent Lambs, to the association with the UN, policies where they had flip flopped on. I'm the type of person who only says things one time, in serious situations. I gave my aprents my letter. We still continued to have a relationship. From time to time my mom will freak out about something she "hears through the JW grapevine" and confront me on my "apostasy", to which I always respond 'why does that surprise you, I already told you how I feel in my letter'. My situation is a bit different. But it felt so good to finally come right out and tell them what I thought was wrong. And for me it was enough. I dont need to go out on the mountain tops, or conventions and hold up signs. I respect their beliefs. I dont agree with them at all, but they are still my parents so I hold a measure of respect for them, even if I dont always get it back from them. Just know that there probably wont be any convincing them otherwise, and depending on your situation there may be hard consequences to endure. But in order to move on it feels great. I dont know if I can offer you the right advice, I'm just sharing what happened with me. But I hope everything works out in your best interest whatever you decide to do. *muah*

shamus

Why bother?

Most are blinded willfully. Your family can use common sense tools available to every human being if they wish to question. If you bring these things to light, they will hate you and the ball will get in motion, if you get my drift. By saving them you are probably not going to save them at all.

It's sad, and an awful thing to say, but it's true.

I need some help

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