Sisters and brothers asking the same questions about my health every time they see me - they don't care, they don't bother, it's all just superfluous talk, no depth. A pioneer who has the same illness but to a lesser degree, is talked about a lot, poor guy, this and that, have to recommend him some medicine etc. - me? no one bothers. Just a former elder who resigned in protest. Cannot be trusted. Has ideas of his own.
Friends? Thought I had some. Realize I never had. And do not have now. We live alone, and we die alone. I have followed my dogs to the vet, have been there when they got their final injection, have lied to them - "hsh, nothing to worry about, just an injection, just lie quiet, soon you'll feel no pain, it's all to be just fine, soon you'll be roaming in huge spaces, in never-ending fields", and then I have patted and caressed them and told them "thank you for the long and nice walks we have had together in the forests" and have left their bodies on the table of death. They were all closer friends of mine than people were. I still remember each of their particularities, I miss them more that I miss most people. I dread the moment my horses must be followed.
Friends? Only four-legged ones.