Dating a JW info (page 11)

wtfjw?

the break up was a force, by the tone of her voice. she was scared to stick up for herself. her mother saw us kissing (just like a peck on the lips)/hugging. she started trippin on the way home in the car. she wouldn't allow her to defend me nor let her cry, she thought i was just in it for the sex and to show her off to people. if i was in it for the sex i wouldnt have wasted like 1½ years on her cuz i wont in it for that. she also said what's done is done, it wouldn't change anything.

the feeling is still there for me but i haven't talked or heard from her for 3 months til last week. she sent me a messages asking the end this bitterness in peace, and though we'd still be friends? should i still be her friend? the last thing she told me was "i gave you my life, i have to start a new one." shes lost. her parents are keeping her away from her away from me. when her mother caught us , they forbid her to have any contact w/ me. they even home schooled her just to make sure she doesn't. they don't want anyone tempting with her feelings. like some people said on here. we would hide so people wont see us, i couldn't even walk w/ her w/o a girl next to her. my school is full of jw's and when they see us together they had this suspicious look on their face. I saw that she was scared, she really didn't have a chose cuz her parents made the decision for her, esp. her father (an elder). we both knew the consequence if she ever got caught and i told her i'll support her no matter what they say or do to her but when she got caught she gave up and left me hanging there waiting her.

it felt like what we went though together doesnt meant anything. i didnt mind her being jw or doing her jw things. i told her "respect my beliefs and i'll respect yours." religion is not a problem for me, cuz my parents are buddist and they never pressured me with that stuff. she said to me my heart is telling me not to go, but my head is telling this is right thing to do. shes a smart girl, and i have high expectation for her to get into a good college and going futher, as you know they're not for education.

last Saturday we saw each other when we took the SAT, but we didn't say anything to each other, we saw each other eye to eye and that feeling just came right back for me. what should i do w/ this situation?

jgnat

If your heart still beats fast after a year and a half, perhaps you can be patient a little longer? Wait until she's living on her own. Perhaps you can tell her now what she needs to do if she really wants to be with you. I would also suggest that you tell her outright that "just friends" is not going to do it for you.

What I would suggest is that you plead that she reach for a little more independence. Go to college and live on her own. Then she can decide if she wants to start things up with you, when she doesn't have her Witness friends and family spying on her.

Do try and learn a bit about the religion's restrictions before you hook up with her over the long term. There are very strict rules on how children are raised, and potentially life-threatening rules about abstaining from blood. Could you for instance, respect her religious choice and allow her to bleed out from a hemorrage after delivering your baby? These things need to be discussed and worked out so that you avoid heartache.

wtfjw?

They won’t leave her alone. She’s w/ her parents like 24/7. It’s been like 3 months since the break up. She loves her parents, families and cong. She’ll probably live at home when she goes to college wherever she is going. I looked up this religion, I knew the stuff they believed in. when I got into this relationship w/ her. She didn’t mention anything aboutg her being JW til one time a holiday come up, I got her something and she told me “ its was sweet of you, but it wasn’t right” then I thought to myself at least appreciate what I got you. I keep thinking to myself “she’s gonna come back.” She doesn’t want to face her problems, the elder probably told her to cut all contacts w/ me cuz she said “I am not REALLY suppose to talk to you”

Cosmos

Thanks guys. Well a lot has happened since my post. My BF got his privileges taken away so he is not allowed to do pioneer work anymore. Basically he does not feel that he has done anything wrong but because the elders told him it was wrong he is saying that he has done wrong. So I told him that its like the elders are saying he killed someone when he knows he has not but he is accepting it anyway. The elders talked to him and gave him some quotes from the bible to support what they were saying, needless to say that all three quotes had nothing to do with what had happened. I pointed this out to him and he just brushed it off saying that the elders sees what he has done as wrong so it is wrong. Well I told him we are going to talk about it so I'm gonna give him time to put his thoughts together. So at the moment I am gathering all the evidence I can doing lots of praying to prepare for the 'day of revelation' lol I'm thinking the fact that he has lost his privileges is a good thing because I feel that it is step but he is feeling so lost at the moment I don't know what to do. He feels that there is nothing left for him anymore and that the only thing good in his life is me. On top of everything he lost his job and at the moment can't find any(well he found one but he did not like the hours because it meant he could not go to services anymore) I have tried to convince him that there is life outside the congregation and I even got my friends to show him. We went out to have fun. I have got him to question some things and at the moment he is doing research about the congregation. Another thing is he does not seemed to be bothered if any of the members of his cong sees us together. However I think that it is just him retaliating, but I fear that all the work I have done so far to make him realize the truth will be wasted because he told me yesterday that he might be able to start pioneering again. It is all so annoying. I will post what happens when I confront him about his religion which should be somewhere in late January

jgnat

wtfjw: They won’t leave her alone. She’s w/ her parents like 24/7.

OK, she's an adult now, isn't she? She has some control over this situation. If she wants to break free, she can. Tell her so the next time you meet. The rest will be up to her.

It's not like you can take a step-ladder to her house and kidnap/elope, is it? You can't rescue her from a prison of her own making. She's young. She may not yet realize she is free. But she might figure it out in time, especially if you hint that freedom is possible.

jgnat

Cosmos: So at the moment I am gathering all the evidence I can doing lots of praying to prepare for the 'day of revelation' lol

A word of warning, shocking a Witness with loads of information at once is not a good approach. He may run back to his old beliefs on reflex.

I strongly encourage you to read Steve Hassan's works www.freedomofmind.com before you try and confront your BF with information.

A slow and careful revelation of what you have learned is much more effective. If I were you I'd pick JUST ONE issue that would be closest to his heart. If he gets defensive, back off. Let him think on it for a while.

On top of everything he lost his job and at the moment can't find any(well he found one but he did not like the hours because it meant he could not go to services anymore)

You might point out the logical fallacy in this. He's been removed from his priveleges to preach, so retail and after-hours jobs are now in his reach. As a double benefit, he won't feel so lost and at loose ends.

Cosmos

I absolutely agree with you about the too much info at once thing jgnat, that is why I am going to take my time to show him things step by step. Erm could you give a website that explains the whole concept about the number of time God's name appears in the bible. I mean that the JW NWT has God's name in practically every sentence lol but I don't think that originally name it appears as many times as the NWT states. I hope I'm making sense. lol. Last thing can you tell me how to put paragraphs in my sentences lol. Thanks

jgnat

Here's an easy way to show that the Witnesses put in "Jehovah (YHWH)" where it never was. The oldest versions of the NT are written Aramaic or Greek. In those languages, God was written as "Lord" or Kurios. In Strong's this is G2962.

kurios koo'-ree-os
From kuros (supremacy); supreme in authority, that is, (as noun) controller; by implication Mr. (as a respectful title): - God, Lord, master, Sir

In order to bolster their particular doctrinal bent, the Witnesses in these cases replaced Kurios with Jehovah. They justify this if for instance, the scripture quoted was in Hebrew. There are other cases, however, where they just go ahead and put Jehovah in instead of Kurios. They even say in their "Studies in the Scriptures" book, that they used much later Hebrew translations of the greek text. Other than in the New Testament, the Watchtower Society translators tried to use the oldest source documents at the time for their translation.

You can see this yourself by looking up the source words (i.e. Strongs G2962) in an online tool like www.blueletterbible.org or by downloading www.e-sword.net

Why the difference? Because the oldest documents do not support their use of "Jehovah".

I still think you are going too strong on the doctrinal stuff, by the way. But maybe experience will help. As soon as a witness sniffs out "opposition" they stop listening.

Cosmos

Ok. What do you suggest I do then? I don't think there is any other way and you did not show me how to put paragraphs in my sentences when I post lol

sass_my_frass

I have been dating a JW for almost 2 months now and let me say that I think my story is quite different from everyone else.

Not really.

Dating a JW info

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