friend getting DFed tonight and my upcoming meeting....

by red so deep 23 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  gumby

  but i'm not exactly sure how to go about it....

  Well....I hope it isn't too late as you were suppose to meet last night.

  Fading is just what it sounds like......you slowly fade from your life as a witness. Slowly stop attending meetings, service, etc. You tell them nothing as far as your current opinions go. Many use depression as an excuse, health, time, or anything that works as to why they are slacking off. After and attempt or two to revive you......they will then leave you alone.

  Standing up for yourself and telling them how you feel might give you some temporary satisfaction.....but you must weight this against all the other effects this will bring if your DFed/DAed.

  Gumby
• 

  LittleToe

  As someone who DA'ed in a very public manner, I have to advise against it, except in exceptional circumstances.
  If you can stomach staying under the radar, go for it.
  The alternative is huge consequences with your JW relationships, which may include your friend in the future, if she's bent on re-instatement.

  OutnFree gave some good advice as to how to deal with your meeting.
  Good luck!
• 

  Elsewhere

  as for my meeting, well, i'd like to be kinda vague about everything, but i feel like i should give some explanation for why i haven't been out in service or at the meetings...and i'd really like to come forward with my problems with the org. sooner or later. if it comes to that point though, i would much rather DA myself then get DF'ed for my doubts. but i still have alot to think about, and i guess we'll just see how things end up.

  Why would you intentionally give them anything to use against you? Don't you know that anything you say that is contrary to the teachings of the WTS is grounds for being DFed for apostasy?

  If they ask questions, just tell them that you are not comfortable talking about what is asked.

  You cannot be DFed for keeping your mouth shut.
• 

  red so deep

  "Don't you know that anything you say that is contrary to the teachings of the WTS is grounds for being DFed for apostasy?"

  to be honest, i've heard that, but i was never really aware as to how strictly they held to it. i suppose it never hurts to keep it on the safe side though....

  i was actually supposed to have that meeting tonight, but i postponed it so we wouldn't have to have it at the KH...

  and i guess, good news about my friend! um, at her mothers strong advice, she put in an appeal letter...so hopefully the other 3 elders that the appeal committee is comprised of will realize the first 3's mistake. this is all so asanine. i've really had it with the whole disfellowshipping debacle and all the unnecessary stress and crap that comes from it....