Is that what makes you feel good about yourself? Can you take criticism without taking it personal?
Do You Need Praise From Others To Feel Validated?
by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends
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DireStraitJacket
Generally if someone criticizes a point I make, I view it as an opportunity to either learn something I didn't know or to teach them something they didn't know, depending on who is right.
Of course having people agree with you does make one feel good... -
Special K
Do you need praise from others to feel validated?
Nope.
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Hey minimus..
Some of your questions are starting to sound like they are coming from a psychology workbook. Hmm?
Interesting.
SK
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StinkyPantz
Is that what makes you feel good about yourself?
There is a difference between feeling "validated" and a compliment making you "feel good about yourself". With me, I at times feel validated when someone whom I have respect for "praises" me. For example, if I am working on a project for work or school and my teacher or boss praises me, yes, I feel validated. I like to know someone appreciates my efforts. And of course it makes me feel good.. as opposed to what, feeling bad when someone praises me?
Can you take criticism without taking it personal?
Isn't criticism supposed to be personal? I don't take people seriously when it is a general criticism like: Black people are lazy. If though, a person remarks that Bridget is lazy, I should take it personally because it is a criticism of my person. Once again, it depends on the person. If it's someone I respect then it might affect me moreso than a stranger. Do I handle criticism well? Nope.
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minimus
Critical people are most sensitive.
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Country Girl
[removed]
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StinkyPantz
CG-
This thread is about your feelings about you and how you respond.. not for you to belittle another specific person. You could at least be more general. Your comment was very uncool .
Edited 'cause I can't spell
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Mac
Do You Need Praise From Others To Feel Validated?
Nope..and in my case that's a damned good thing!!
mac
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StinkyPantz
I U Mac
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CeriseRose
I would like to say no, that I'm well adjusted enough in my own skin and all my abilities that I don't. The reality is, however, that at certain times, around certain subjects and situations, that I do need that type of encouragement.
A case in point...I've always been an honours student in school, but after my JW experience had not been for 15 years. I started back at correspondence courses at the university level. I'm no different a student than before, but this time I felt so out of my depth that I needed my hand held and acknowledgement of even the smallest goals accomplished. I'm in second semester now and need much less in the way of "I knew you could do it, and great job" kinds of comments to feel like I have a grasp on things.
Although, thinking about the phrasing of Minimus' question, I think I need acknowledgement more than praise (although that could end up being the same thing). I think it depends on how vulnerable the circumstance makes me feel and how much of a stake I have it in. Low vulnerability + low risk = self-validation. High vulnerability + high risk = outside support.
Kinda makes sense. At least to me.
Edit: Forgot to answer part two. I can take constructive criticism, if it's delivered respectfully.