Toppled Tower (page 2)

patio34

Skimmer,

Bravo! Bravo! I loved your imaginative news articles.

Pat

Great post Skimmer! Sounds as if you touched a sensitive nerve with YK, but you had me laughing through all of it. But before I buy in, I’d like some biblical support for your 2029 chronology. I’m sure if you look hard enough you can find some, LOL

Skimmer

Hello Copernicus and thank you (and everyone else) for the thoughtful comments.

I'll have you know that my 2029 chronology is every bit as good (if not better) than any date prophecy output by the WTBTS.

Seriously, I hope that a few more posters might offer their own 2029 news clipping of what their reaction will be in that year upon hearing the news of the toppled tower.

Cygnus

So let me get this straight. The great tribulation is going to last at least 2 1/2 years. Middle East nations will engage in war with nations capable of a nuclear strike (Russia? Israel?) and will be completely destroyed. The government has suspended free markets and the media is all but shut down. Gorbachez becomes chairman of the North American Federation and his primary concern is with jailing, reconverting, or killing Jehovah's Witnesses (MILLIONS of them)?

Gotta give you credit for creativity, Bob.

ofcmad

AP - October 21, 2029

UNOFFICAL REPORT CLAIM INDICTMENTS FOR THE WBTS

Unoffical reports released today by anonymous sources state that there are multiple indictments pending for the board members of the religious organization commonly known as the "Jehovah's Witnesses".

According to these sources, it is alleged that some of the board members have been laundering tax-exempt monies obtained by donations of the parisheners and were funneling it to a variety of bank accounts, pyramid schemes, private real-estate deals, bonds and stocks.

An attempt has been made to contact Chief Ofcmad, of NYC Police Department, to confirm these rumors. Unfortunately she was not available for comment.

AP- October 25, 2029

CHIEF OF NYC POLICE DEPARTMENT RESIGNS

An offical statement issued by the office of the Chief of the NYC Police Department states that Chief Ofc Mad will be resigning from her post after 10 years of service.

The statement issued stated the resignation will go into effect on November 30, 2029. When asked the reason for the resignation, no comment could be obtained. Sources close to Chief Mad alledge that it is closely tied into the recent indictments of the board of members of the religious organization known as the "Jehovah's Witnesses". According to the sources, Chief Mad alledgely stated the following, " 'I made a promise to God that as long as ...[the board members of the Jehovah's Witnesses].. were around to cheat, steal, and molest the innocent, I would actively serve my country to protect these victims. Now my work is done. And I'm ...(edited for media release)happy.'".

A farewell-benefit for Chief Mad will be announced at a later date. The dinner will benefit the WVF, Watchtower-Victim Fund.

"Noah was a drunk and look what he accomplished." The Metatron/Dogma

You Know

So let me get this straight. The great tribulation is going to last at least 2 1/2 years.

At least.

Middle East nations will engage in war with nations capable of a nuclear strike (Russia? Israel?)

Sure. That's already happening in Israel. A regional war is pretty much inevitable.

The government has suspended free markets and the media is all but shut down.

Yes. Of course. Obviously the ponzi pyramids known as the free markets would be the first thing to go in a crash.

Gorbachez becomes chairman of the North American Federation and his primary concern is with jailing, reconverting, or killing Jehovah's Witnesses (MILLIONS of them)?

Well, the Gorby thing might not come about. He's just the most recognized connection between the old Soviet era and the New World Order. As far as genocide, sure, it happens all the time. It's happening now in various places in Africa.

Gotta give you credit for creativity, Bob.

Thanks. It's not uncommon for ficticious scenarios to actually become reality. / You Know

68storm

AP- Octber 21, 2029

HIGH RANKING AGENTS PERFORM STRIP SEARCH

It has been reported today, that top agents from the North American Federation, have lined up approx. 100 men known among the Jehovahs Witness cult, as of "The Anointed Class" in order to prove or disprove a long standing belief that these particular species of the human race have no testicles. ( For over 100 years, adherents of this cult, could never figure out how they knew that they were of "The Anointed") It can now be announced, without doubt that , out of the 100 men that were inspected, they could not find one testicle among them.

In a related incident, in the former USSR, they performed the same test on 100 women adherents, and they were able to count 37 testicles.

To YK

If you profess to be of this class, please post clear pictures for all of us to see.

68Storm

ofcmad

68storm--
LMAOROFL!!!!!!
You made my day with this post..lol..

"Noah was a drunk and look what he accomplished." The Metatron/Dogma

Copernicus

AP- October 21, 2029

New York

In a long awaited move, agents of the federally mandated “Religious Fraud and Anti-Cult” task force raided offices of the Watch Tower Bible & Tract Society today. This action, which was heralded by the Societies many opponents, marked the closing of one of the last functioning cults left in the continental USA, and ended the dubious, 140 history of a group who proclaimed themselves to be “God’s channel of communication on earth.”

No word from God as yet on this event.

Handcuffed, and led by agents from the Society’s Brooklyn headquarters was Robert King (AKA: YouKnow), the last “professed” member of the “anointed remnant” who held the position of corporate president (North America operations) and who was the leader of the cult’s “Governing Body” at the time of his arrest.

Mr. King was heckled by “great crowds” of people as he was escorted to an armored vehicle in preparation for his transport to a facility especially designed to house current and former cult members convicted of various crimes. Many in the crowd shouted obscenities at King, while waving multi-paged print outs of his many failed prophetic speculations that had been widely published on the group’s Internet home page.

This group, long known (and much hated) in the past for its annoying door to door proselytizing activities, had in the past 10 years, been confined by law to utilizing only non-personal conventional media outlets.

Upon questioning, sources close to the investigation (know only as AF, Norm, Maximus, and Farkle) claimed that the continued failure of a single one of the Society’s predictions marking the arrival of Armageddon (an obscure biblical term) drove Mr. King and his cronies to near desperation, as they watched the cults membership dwindle to less then 100 thousand. Down from the millions enjoyed in the heydays of the last decade of the 20th century.

Enforcement arms of the Security and Exchange Commission jointly spearheaded the investigation. It had been observed that Mr. King had been attempting to utilize his group’s few remaining financial assets in a desperate, hopeless attempt to bring about his perpetually predicted collapse of the world’s economic systems.

Mr. King is expected to plead guilty to stock fraud, in addition to having been charged with a multitude of other recently enacted anti-cult law violations. These charges could bring about a life sentence – as Mr. King expects to live forever, this could mean a very long prison stay indeed.

While being led away, in alternating fits of weeping and frothing at the mouth, Mr. King could be heard to mutter numerous out of context bible verses, and was heard saying soon, soon, soon, over and over again. His claim that someone named “Jehovah,” would send fire from the sky to effect his rescue and ascension to heaven, have as yet gone unrealized. Federal authorities are not taking this “threat” seriously at this time.

A panel of leading physiatrists will have to certify Mr. King as sane and fit to stand trial (very doubtful under the circumstances), before the case can progress to trial.

Your reporter on the scene. . .

Copernicus

logical

YOU KNOW

FUCK OFF FALSE PROPHET SCUM

Toppled Tower

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