SHOW DOWN TODAY

by Corvin 47 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Special K

  Hi Corvin

  ((Corvin and family))

  I wish you and your daughters the very best.

  Special K
• 

  avishai

  OK, dudes, play nice. I don't think LT was out to getchacorvin, And, LT, dude, I don't think he was verbally abusing you, or had the intent of doing so. If I'm wrong, go ahead and go for it.

  (Corvin, think about getting a therapist, you need one inspite of yourself

  Like, whoa!! This is totally uncool. Since when does a dude need, like, a threapist for totally saving his awsome little grommies from a gnarly, grody, psycho beeyotch and that lame-o church? Duhh. Yeah, he's like, wicked pissed. Just 'cuz a dude needs to leak a lil' anger to his bro's does'nt mean he's gonna bum out everyones trip and go, like, totally Tony Montana on everbody. Cool?

  I get the same thing. When I'm angry, i verbalize it. Instead of stewing until I flip out and REALLY cause problems, I'll vent to someone, or tell who I'm mad at "I'm really angry with you right now, and don't want to be around you." Usually calmly. But people always say I'm being a dick, etc., I must be a violent person, blah, blah, blah. I know my limits. I 've worked as a bouncer, as a counselor in group homes, some with 6'4" mentally handicapped psychotics that threw me around like a rag doll and have taken literally hundreds of punches, kicks, bites, been spit on, had feces and or vomit thrown in my face, and never once retaliated. And yet there are still people who think I'm a hair trigger nut job strictly because of the way I'm honest about my feelings . Don't tell someone they're off the hook, too angry, etc., unless you really know the situation and the person.. Something is wrong with the world lately, when even righteous anger is criticized, and it often is. All this mellwo, kissy kissy, don't get mad, let things slide, etc., etc. attitude is also what let's kids get molested. It lets people get hurt.

  "Turn the other cheek" sounds great in principle, but Jesus did'nt have kids. I will kill or die for my children Period, I will do whatever it takes. I know Corvin has the same attitude and deserves respect, not snorts of derision and wussy platitudes.
• 

  GentlyFeral

  Mary said:

  "were you taping the conversation, just in case you need to show furthur evidence that she's a manipulative liar??

  Excellent idea: especially if you - as required by law - begin by saying, "I'm taping this conversation, because I don't want to misrepresent anything you say."

  GentlyFeral
• 

  outoftheorg

  HELLO GF. THAT LAW VARIES FROM STATE TO STATE.

  FOR EXAMPLE IN IDAHO WE HAVE A SINGLE PARTY PERMISSION LAW.

  SO A PERSON CAN RECORD ON HIS OWN TELEPHONE ANY CONVERSATIONS THAT OCCUR.WITHOUT NOTICE OF OR PERMISSION FROM THE OTHER PARTY.

  I HAVE NO INFORMATION AS TO THE LAWS IN CORVINS STATE.

  Outoftheorg
• 

  BrendaCloutier

  Like, whoa!! This is totally uncool. Since when does a dude need, like, a threapist for totally saving his awsome little grommies from a gnarly, grody, psycho beeyotch and that lame-o church? Duhh. Yeah, he's like, wicked pissed. Just 'cuz a dude needs to leak a lil' anger to his bro's does'nt mean he's gonna bum out everyones trip and go, like, totally Tony Montana on everbody. Cool?

  Corvin admitted a need to vent in this forum. That's kewl. But when there is as much psychological warfare and BS going on in Corvin's world, to have a trained head to bounce off of, especially someone who is skilled in cult recovery, doesn't hurt. It's a JW (and many born-againers) thing to be against professional help. And as exJW's we all need a little guidance and balance now and then

  To have a professional doesn't mean that a person is f'reek'n nutz, just that they are wise enough to seek professional counsel. What's so uncool about seek out professional counsel? Anger and rage are sometimes difficult to get past when there is a desprite need to act logically. It's not uncommon to lash out at someone trying to help when enraged. I know, I've been there myself with JW parents. And Covin is very angry right now. Rightfully so, but right don't cut it if you loose, and he needs his head about him.
• 

  Corvin

  I have no desire to be further verbally abused by someone who doesn't give a shyte (or maybe isn't equiped to discern) when people are showing concern.

  LOL, LT, you call that abuse? Geez, it must be nice living in your twelve-step program. Give a shyte? NOt equipped to discern? I appreciated your concern, but let me tell you something, when someone who is telling you that your concern is not needed, you should probably go the rout of trust and acceptance instead of being offended.

  (Corvin, think about getting a therapist, you need one inspite of yourself)

  Brenda, I can?t believe you actually wrote that.

  To have a professional doesn't mean that a person is f'reek'n nutz, just that they are wise enough to seek professional counsel. What's so uncool about seek out professional counsel? Anger and rage are sometimes difficult to get past when there is a desprite need to act logically. It's not uncommon to lash out at someone trying to help when enraged. I know, I've been there myself with JW parents. And Covin is very angry right now. Rightfully so, but right don't cut it if you loose, and he needs his head about him.

  Brenda, first of all, my comments in these posts might be direct and sharp, sarcastic and mordacious, but my anger is controlled. I am not lashing out at those trying to help, I am, however, getting annoyed that someone keeps telling me I am running too fast and too far, that they keep stating their concern for an aspect of this situation they don?t understand and simply cannot get their arms around, while I keep explaining why their concern is appreciated but a little inapplicable to the circumstances. I have been training for 8 years to deal with this, which includes counseling. I don?t think therapy is uncool, and I highly recommend it for those err too much on the side of caution when decisive action is needed instead. My daughter, Nancy does not consciously understand it, because she is suffering from something akin to Stockholm Syndrome. She needs traditional counseling geared toward cult deprogramming. That won't happen if I play all nice and kissy-face with those involved. Just fyi, her recovery includes dad getting involved in counseling.

  Again, I refer to the rabid dog analogy. The dog has to be put down pronto before it destroys you, then you can feel bad about having to do it. But if you focus on grief before you wack the mad dog over the head, it will be too late. People will get hurt and or die. There is no time to consider other peoples feelings or preferences. You just have to do what you have to do to get you and your loved ones to a safe place.

  I had the same concerns as LT, which is why I asked my question... but:

  Again, I have been trying to tell you that there is nothing to be concerned about. I think the backslappers must have kids because . . .

  Why would you have to be a parent to understand this? We were all children , therefore we all know how much we want to love and be loved by BOTH parents.

  Because being a parent is NOT THE SAME as being a child. Only a parent would understand that.
• 

  StinkyPantz

  being a parent is NOT THE SAME as being a child. Only a parent would understand that.

  Good thing that's not what I said . I said you don't need to be a parent to understand a child's feeling.. you need to have been a child, and since we were all children, we understand. Oh and parents aren't the only ones who know that being a child is not the same as being a parent.. in fact, I'd bet NO ONE thinks "child" and "parent" are synonymous.

  Corvin, I support you and your cause. I was raised in an emotionally abusive household, I hope you are able to save your kids from that.

  Count me in as a "backslapper", even though I have no children (which apparently means I don't understand parent/child relationships ).
• 

  BrendaCloutier

  Just fyi, her recovery includes dad getting involved in counseling.

  {{{ Corvin }}} I'm glad you're involved in counseling. Actually, I figured you probably were. After I posted, I realized I was probably a bit sharp. A reaction to the "dissagreement" between you and LT. No insult intended. I don't think anyone on this board harbors ill-will toward you, and only wants the best.

  Heck, I think most exJW's need therapy. Few of us know how to get along in the world unless we've been around the block a few times and have attempted to figure out how it really works. My spousal unit and I see a relationship therapist 2x a year for tuneups. I seek counseling from a friend/neighbor if I'm not sure what's appropriate. She happens to think I'm one of the more "normal" and "well balanced" people she knows. Maybe I should see someone else? But, then again, my psych nurse who I see for my anti-depressants thinks I'm pretty well balanced also, as long as I take my meds . Normal is just a setting on a washing machine.

  I am and have been concerned about your anger. If you have it controlled, GREAT! Anger is a by-product of fear. Once the adrenalin and other chemicals get flowing, they can be difficult to manage. I know, I've been there. I wanted to burn some a-h's house down because he caused an auto accident that got pinned on me. It took a lot of work to learn to be angry in a "appropriate" manner. Anger, and I'm sure you're aware, can be highly destructive. To the self and any and all surrounding the self.

  I want the best outcome for you and your family. I'd absolutely love it if the court ordered Sara into therapy, both for her own good, whether it will do any good or not, and for the conflict it will cause her Most of us know what JW's think about therapy.

  Hugs and only the best. You deserve it, and are overdue.

  Brenda

  PS how the heck do you change colours? I hit the colour key and everything changes to red and I didn't want to flame anyone.
• 

  BrendaCloutier

  That won't happen if I play all nice and kissy-face with those involved.

  I also see where you really did try this tactic and no way your #)$%* ex-wife was willing to compromise. I really do understand the insanity you're trying to protect your children from.

  -Bren
• 

  Navigator

  Good luck to you and yours! I sincerely hope that all of this works out the way you want it to. I hope the court appointed attorney will take the time to get familiar with all the aspects of your situation. At the risk of incurring your wrath again, I will suggest that you have a "operations plan" if things don't go completely in your favor. Judges sometimes do strange things and the court system can be far from just sometimes. Outcomes can sometimes be influenced by relationships between the judges and the attorneys involved. Judges sometimes get very upset if you display obvious anger in their presence and some won't hesitate to let you know that they are in control. Try not to make them uncomfortable. Expect the best, but prepare for the worst. I'm confident that everyone on this board will be praying for a favorable outcome for you and your children.