What if potential convert sat in back of K.H. and talked w/ shunned j.w.'s? (page 2)

hubert

Thanks for the great responses, friends.

I can never understand how (supposedly) loving people can treat other people, especially relatives, this way, ff. That must have really hit a nerve.

No Apologies

One other thing I noticed is that anytime an individual who Disfellowshipped (an ousting punishment given to baptised persons) or Disassociated (an ousting punishment given to unbaptised persons) came to a meeting (with permission from the elders), it was usually made known to the congregants that this person was attending and would be segregated.
When a person (whether baptised or not) who was under Public Reproof it was announced to the congregants.

Unbaptised persons are not Disassociated. The only "punishment" they can receive is that they might be announced as no longer being an "Unbaptised Publisher", assuming they even were a publisher. Likewise, they cannot be Public Reproved, probably not privately either.

I have never heard of an announcement being made that someone DF'd would be attending, or that they needed permission from the elders first.

No Apologies

Purza

When I was DF'd I WANTED to sit in the back of the hall. I wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible. My mother used to save me a seat in the back. Then the elders told her not to do that because she was "enabling" me *roll eyes here* and she no longer saved me a seat. So I would come in during the song or right after the meeting started and would be seated wherever there was an empty seat -- one time that was closer to the front. I was mortified -- but I am also stubborn so I made it through to reinstatement. Looking back. . . . the whole thing was such a farce.

Purza

Happy Guy :)

Unbaptised persons are not Disassociated. The only "punishment" they can receive is that they might be announced as no longer being an "Unbaptised Publisher", assuming they even were a publisher. Likewise, they cannot be Public Reproved, probably not privately either.

I have never heard of an announcement being made that someone DF'd would be attending, or that they needed permission from the elders first.

Thank you for your comments. It looks as though things may be a little different in the U.S. as compared with this part of Canada. I assure you my ex was unbaptised and was in fact Privately Reproved. I also was in attendance at a few meetings at one particular congregation where a Disfellowshipped person was attending. Not only was an announcement made that they were attending but it was made known that this person had to be given permission by the elders.

justhuman

They will have to reinstate the shunned!!!

joenobody

I remember attending a couple of meetings when first DFed. Coming in just as the meeting started and having the elders reserve a segregated chair at the back was meant to be humiliating. I went to a meeting or two and complied, then immediately stopped going. The shunning like that actually shocked me to my senses as to how silly it was that one was treated like a leper. It was obscene and I decided I wouldn't subject myself to that. I continued praying and studying the Bible only for months on end asking God to set me straight. I was surprised at the answers and conclusions I came to (no apostate material involved to influence the decision).

Years later I went to my brothers wedding. I think there might've been some concern about me sitting at the front of the hall. As if I wasn't going to sit with my family? I didn't walk in late. I mingled around the hall a long-time beforehand. It was a little weird, but overall not too bad. If I were ever to attend a meeting in the future (not likely, but maybe to audit it for some reason, or to go see my brother give a public talk) I would not sit at the back nor would I wait until just before the meeting started to enter the Hall. Why act the part of pariah to suit them? I wouldn't be disrespectful or disruptive and I wouldn't make it a point to avoid eye contact with anyone or anything like that. It's all rather sad. Imagine what Bible studies etc would think seeing the shunning - it should mandatory for them to see it to know what they were getting into.

Mulan

I have never heard of an announcement being made that someone DF'd would be attending, or that they needed permission from the elders first.

Neither have I.

I assure you my ex was unbaptised and was in fact Privately Reproved

I remember a time when they did that, before the mid 80's. I knew of a 12 year old 40 years ago, who was disfellowshipped and he was never baptized. Times and policies change.

They are a weird bunch, mean spirited and judgmental. I decided not to go there anymore.

JT

I assure you my ex was unbaptised and was in fact Privately Reproved

I remember a time when they did that, before the mid 80's. I knew of a 12 year old 40 years ago, who was disfellowshipped and he was never baptized. Times and policies change.

They are a weird bunch, mean spirited and judgmental. I decided not to go there anymore

########

you are correct, years ago unbaptized persons were handled in judical cases and read off and treated just like a df person- my sister got pregnant and was read off and till this day many jw see her and will never speak

the problem form what i understand is that - the society got into legal problems by handling persons who are unbaptized from what i understand- so if you look back in the 80s the wt make a straticgic move to no longer handle judical cases for nonbaptized person

some of you may recall the wt has such wonderful classifcations as "Approved assoicates" - the wt of 1981 sept 15 and sept 1 on dfing dealt with that issue of how do we view such unbaptized persons

they are to be treated as simply a man of the nations who is bad association, this protects the wt from law suits from person who are mentally abused by elders and they are not even jw-

undercover

I have an experienced of a an "interested one" conversing with a DFd person at the hall:

Before I faded away and still went to a few meetings a month we took a friend who was researching different religions to a Sunday meeting(not to convert him, but for him to see how dull it really was). A DFd person that I had grown up with was there also. By coincidence, my interested friend knew my DFd friend. Not knowing the WTS policy on DFing and shunning, he went right up to the DFd person and started talking. I was mildly shocked at first and then thought, well, he's not a JW, he can talk to whoever he wants.
The DFd person was very ill at ease and didn't even get up to shake the other guys hand or carry on much of a conversation. The intersted guy was confused as to why he received what he perceived as a cold shoulder from him. We tried to explain the situation but he didn't understand and I was embarrassed that he was embarrassed and that my DFd friend was embarrassed.
I talked to my DFd friend a few days later(yea, I know, for shame, for shame) and he expressed regret in how he snubbed the other guy who had no idea about the shunning policy. He asked me to apologize for him and said if he had it to do over again he would behave as if they were out in public somewhere and ran into each other.

That was another little light bulb going off in my brain. Another "something ain't right about this" that pushed me further out the door.

joenobody

Undercover, that last experience you gave shows the absolute absudity of the policy and the social paralysis they attempt to impose on their membership.

What if potential convert sat in back of K.H. and talked w/ shunned j.w.'s?

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