OVER THE TOP!
Did anyone say anything unusual at the doors?
by badboy 23 Replies latest jw friends
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hillbilly
I dont recall 'saying' any thing unusual at any door..... but I did get a few 'reactions' in certain neigborhoods.
I guess I look like a cop... I am a stocky guy...... I have knocked on a few doors and had folks bail out side windows to get outta Dodge. It was like , knock knock knock "US MARSHALLS", lol.
Big guy, short haircut, cheap blue suit..... go figure. Maybe it was the RayBans?
----------Hill
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mkr32208
I had lots of weird stuff happen at doors but can't think of anything said...
Wait I take that back the very first door I went to with my own presentation the house holder started screaming (and I do mean screaming) that we were murderers for not taking blood... Not that I don't think (now) that the stand on blood was and is wrong but this was NOT the way to handle it! Screaming at a 10 year old kid! The guy later was convicted of raping a kid (well several actually) so in it's own way justice was served (yell at me again mother f*cker!)
Actually I guess he didn't know how much he really had in common with the witnesses!!! lol hahahaha
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mkr32208
Wait wait I forgot to tell you about some of the cool stuff that HAPPENED at doors!
Let me preface by saying that these experinces were when I lived in NY and was probrably... 13-18? Service in florida is so much less fun!
We went to a house out in rural territory and I happened to know the kids that lived there so I made some excuse to not go (looking back I was always ashamed to be a Witness) So two other bro's volunteered. Anyway this householder had a fence all the way around their property maybe 3 acers total. There was no gate there was a set of steps up, a platform, and steps down on the other side of the fence. These people had several huge (cujo style) dogs that were actually nice dogs but looked mean as all hell.
So the two pioneer dicks decide to go up to the door so they go over the fence and about halfway up the walk (150 ft or so) then cujo comes walking around the house (I knew they were good dogs but somehow had forgot to mention this fact...) and cujo is DRAGGING A DEER SKIN (this is a HUGE hunting area and the skins often go to the dogs to play with) but these two pioneers would never dare hold a gun much less shoot a deer. So the lead brother (bit braver) stops and just stands there the queer in the rear (not calling names just closets that were opened later) is already back at the car! Brother the 1st is slowly backing up asking for advice from brother the 2nd (who is already back at the car hahaha) finally brother the 1st tears his eyes away from certain death to turn around to ask for advice from his "friend" and comes to the dismal realization that his backup is in fact 150 ft away, over a fence and in a car...
So HE takes of running toward the car. The dog (being a dog) thinks, "well this is the most fun I've had in a coons age" and takes off running after him (not biting or barking just bouncing along smiling like crazy and shaking his deer skin like a rat) the brother hits the stairs at FULL throttle gets too the top loses his balance and ROLLS down the other side in an explosion of WTBS magazines and books and bibles! It was AWESOME!
Once I was at a "return visit" with this jackass elder (anyone who didn't chase him off with a shotgun was a return visit... I kid you not) and this elder (being as I said, a jackass) has one of those HUGE elder bags. You know, the one's made by Samsonite! This bag must have weighed 50lbs and was SOLID and he's talking to the house holder who is standing on a little porch about 2 feet above us. The door to the house is open and this little dog comes tearing out of the house I mean RIPPPPPPING along and this guy happens to set his bag up on the porch just as the dog is going under the house holders legs and the dog hits that back head first at easy 20 mph and IS KNOCKED COLD I mean LEGS IN THE AIR! LIKE A F*CKING CARTOON! This is where it gets surreal NEITHER OF THEM NOTICED! They were so caught up in their argument that they didn't NOTICE!
I was literaly trying not to laugh so hard I thought I was going to puke! I WAS crying, I almost pissed my pants it was one of the funniest things I have EVER seen! Easy in the top 5 funnier than most anything I have ever seen on TV it was just unreal!
Was out in "rural" territory once with this big guy who was WAY short of brains but he was a reg. pioneer at the time (faded now so he must not have been THAT dumb) So he had figured out that if he got some of the WAY out territories around Watkins Glen that he could drive for hours in the woods and never see a house.
So he had a 4 wheel drive subaru (great offroad car, seriously one of the best) and we would go up these roads that we KNEW no one lived up but it was lots of fun and you could count your time! So were out in BFE somewhere and we come to this puddle... well, pond... well maybe lake and on the far side you could see the road continued so L* says "we can make it, how deep could it be" so he guns it down this hill and under the lake we go!! The wave goes over the car (note-not "the splash", the "wave" there is a difference!!!) I looked out the side window and literaly saw fish! You've seen the pictures where the water hits the center of the canvas and above is birds and sky and trees and under is fish and seaweed and whales... I was LIVING that picture! somehow the car gets across the deepest spot and L* is nominated to get out and push the rest of the way the water is still up to his waist (and he was easy 6'6) and it's pretty easy to push the car because it was FLOATING! So we get out and wait about an hour dry everything out the car fires right up and off we go... unreal!
More later I have to do some work... ugg
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Preston
Well......
One time I was working a really, really upper-class neighborhood and as I left in my car for the day, some guy from, I don't know where, probably on the street I was witnessing on, followed me (in his hummer) all the way to where I was going and as I got out of my car to have lunch he starts screaming and yelling at me that I broke his gate and that he was going to sue my pants off. I didn't break his f*%^n' gate, but the thing that supirsed was the gall this guy had the follow me all the way to where I was going. I could of driven home and my parents would of called the cops. What a psycho!
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minimus
An elderly pioneer once threatened a few householders that if they did not acceept the truth "Jesus was going to turn them into a pig".
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undercover
I knew a brother who had a very dry sense of humor...he got a door one day and the householder said he wasn't interested, he was a Baptist. The brother looked at him with no expression on his face and deadpanned, "You can be forgiven for that".
It was funny as hell at the time, but now I save that line for anytime anyone says they are a JW.
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Stephanus
An elderly pioneer once threatened a few householders that if they did not acceept the truth "Jesus was going to turn them into a pig".
I'd have replied: "So THAT's what happened to you!"
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IT Support
Years ago I called on an old man who said he wasn't interested. I did my usual JW response: is JWs or the Bible you're not interested in?
JWs he replied. "I remember them saying Millions Now Living Will Never Die. It wasn't true. I've never listened to them since." I don't remember what I said.
Only now do I realise what a wise old man he was.
Regards,
Ken
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candidlynuts
when i was a kid there was a mexican family that moved into our area.. me and a sister that was like an over weight bea arthur went to the door.. the door opens.. and the room is FULL of mary's and jesus's and crosses and like a shrine or something on one wall ( sorry i'm not fluent in catholic stuff) and she comes to the door with a HUGE cross in her hands. ( huge then cuz i was a kid) i scream and tear off back to the car terrified satans gonna get me because CROSSES ARE BAD!!! ....... sister bea talks to the lady, comes back to the car.. smacks me upside the head in a joking way (its a southern thang) and says the lady wanted to know if i was a vampire child.. the entire car was laughing their butts off and i was still watching out the window waiting for satan! that was the last time i went out to learn from the old pioneer ladies without my mommy! lmao
(nothing unusual said at the door but it was an unusual experience)