You guys are forgetting one thing, JEHOVAH IS THE CREATOR OF ALL THINGS! He has a manufacturing plant in heaven where he makes plastic chairs, tupperware containers, and cock rings.
Studying the new "Keep on the Watch!" brochure - Contradictions on page 18?
by ozziepost 29 Replies latest watchtower bible
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Corvin
the plastic chairs could have survived the big A if they had been in the KH during the calamities. and now that they've made it thru...these chairs will last forever - no need to reproduce.
Yes, yes! It has to be true. Why, I have carried the same set of plastic chairs with me for 37 years, and I inherited them from my mother who inherited them from her mother. So you see, plastic chairs are WTBTS approved for use in the new system of things. Ozzie, you shouldn't be so critical of those working so hard to further kingdom interests. If the FDS says there will be plastic chairs in the New Order, then there will be plastic chairs!
He has a manufacturing plant in heaven where he makes plastic chairs, tupperware containers, and cock rings.
Their won't however, be any milk. How do I know this? Because the Bible talks about bringing about udder destruction. So you see, no cows, no milk. But this is all a moo point anyway, isn't it? And OMG! No more leather studded cockrings? I don't wanna live forever in paradise on earth if there are no leather studded cockrings.
Corvin
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gumby
Corvin....what the hell you doin up at 2:51 am? It's dark and cold out there and you needs ta be countin sheep
Guminsomniactonight
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Wallflower
Anything you think of- Jehovah can make it possible. He's the Willy Wonka of the universe.
After the big A, there will be no need to produce all the magazines, books etc, so the all the Bethel plants will be altered to produce plastic chairs, microphone stands, rostrums and that crappy boring carpet you always find at Kingdum Halls. It will give all the Theocratic Umpa Lumpas a purpose.
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ozziepost
Shotgun:
Come on Ozzie, there must be more than a plastic chair problem in this new brochure.
You betcha. Stay tuned. Cheers, Ozzie
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MerryMagdalene
Oh, wow...everything is starting to make sense!!!
Willie Wonka is God. Charlie is Christ. The Chocolate Factory is the WTB&TS and all those candies are the publications. The Oompa Loompas are the faithful JWs at Bethel (remember that lovely "spiritual" paradise inside the factory where they get to work on in endless joy!). The naughty children are those who will be destroyed at Armageddon. I'm not sure about Grandpa Joe, though. Maybe he represents the folks who get "grandfathered" in by means of the resurrection. So get on down to your local candy-store/ congregation. Sit in plastic chairs for hours on end (so as not to get too off-topic). Buy, sell, and eat lots of Wonka Bars and you, too, can be saved! Thanks everybody for showing me the way. I have a new Bible now.
And remember: "The Candy Man Can!"
--Merry
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ozziepost
Merry:
It makes more sense than the publication!
Stay tuned.
Ozzie
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MerryMagdalene
Staying tuned, Ozzie...
Have a fantastic day/night/whatever!
--Merry
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ellderwho
Under74:
Oh man! Me too! Gene Wilder=Jehover and his wacky Brooklyn factory with his umpa-lites.Anything you think of- Jehovah can make it possible. He's the Willy Wonka of the universe.
ROFLMAO. You really cracked me up with that one, dude! -
jgnat
bttt
Here it is, boys and girls. The "Keep on the Watch" is the brochure under study for the next four weeks. To mark the occassion, I will be bringing forward various sections of Ozzie's insightful commentary. This week, I believe, is pages 1 to 10. In summary, the world is going down the tubes,
"Look beyond the single news items. Are they isolated events? Or are they part of a global pattern that has real significance?" p 4. Do you not agree that we are living in "critical times hard to deal with?" p. 6.
This week's study ends with some insightful questions on what is really important in life. Hint: don't pick "materialism".