How to Deal with Shunners Part I. It Is They Who are Afraid

by jst2laws 49 Replies latest jw experiences

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    As it has partly been said, most of those who practise shunning are not afraid of displeasing Jehovah...they fear man which includes elders and all congregation members who are obligated to rat them out.

    I was called before the elders three times while in my early twenties...on all three occasions the elders were acting on complaints from congregation members who felt it neccessary to keep the org clean...once for holding the baby of a disfellowshipped couple who were friends at an assembly, the other two times for being drunk in public...something the P.O at the time did at lots of get togethers.

    Winston..your a busy boy

    While outside, we ran into more JW?s! These JW?s were pretty cool and ended up inviting us to a bar afterwards, which we took up. Spent the rest of the night talking to them at a nice bar downtown, and ran into MORE JW?s at the bar, one whom is DF?d and a really good friend of mine.

    Stop hanging around with all those JW's..the bad association will spoil your useful habits, it's aready got you wearing pastel coloured t-shirts.
  • "Heathen" Biker Babe
    "Heathen" Biker Babe

    I recently experienced my first shunning. In six years I had not run into anyone from the kingdom hall. Then one day I was visiting a friend at the hospital and this woman was heading my way. I recognized her as she approached me but could not remember her name. I was looking at her face but she was staring straight ahead as if she had blinders on. I asked myself "Was I just shunned"? Well, maybe she didn't recognize me. We did go on that cruise together once. She had to know me. I still wasn't sure I was shunned. However, a few weeks ago I saw the same sister in the grocery store. After passing me in the aisle twice I knew I was officially being shunned. I had a big smile on my face as she passed me both times.

    Being shunned felt really weird to me. I am not df'd or da'd. I have just been inactive for 6 years. Maybe the word got out that holiday decorations have been seen at my home. How do they know it isn't my worldly husband putting up the decorations? Isn't it wrong to assume wrongdoing on someone's part? I feel sorry for her. She never really got to know me until the cruise. She was surprised at how funny I was and friendly too. Her shunning me felt no different that it did going to the Kingdom Hall each week. I was widowed and did not have any association except for the old maid pioneer that no one else liked. It's amazing. I have loving, "worldly" friends galore. Birds of a feather smell alike. I guess I didn't smell right.

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Stop hanging around with all those JW's..the bad association will spoil your useful habits, it's aready got you wearing pastel coloured t-shirts.

    Shitgun

    Sorry. You know better than anyone that my shirts have to match my panties

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    Humph

    You know better than anyone that my shirts have to match my panties

    I'd hardly call white briefs with skid marks in the back panties...you dirty little apostate.

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront
    I'd hardly call white briefs with skid marks in the back panties...you dirty little apostate.

    ROFL....

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I live in a seniors aptments -There are 30 of us here- They all know I have an exJW support group. They have watched me on Sally Jessie R. Also Shirley show- also Roughcuts- also CBC,,,,But there are two JWs ( married) that are here also- They have not spoken to me- But two weeks ago the JWS called on my grand-daughter by marriage----( she used to be one) & she expressed how awful it is the way they shun me-They said "OH no we dont shun anymore" WELL!!! I have been very ill of late- & I was shocked as I was walking out a week ago. & lo & Behold, Trudy( the JW) smiled & asked how I was. chatted about her hubby having the same thing -told me he is her second hubby- first died.... Well I was surprised!!!

    Then the Next day!!!! Her hubby was entering the apartments I was leaving- he went one way I went the same way- So we both laughed -I said shall we dance???? He laughed & said YES!!!!

    Blondie???? there new light on speaking to apostates????

  • detective
    detective

    Winston:

    Another recent experience was when I went to the Pixies concert a few days ago

    You just cut through my soul. Jealous. Deeply, jealous. Come home, Pixies, come home!

    Isn't the language the Pixies use in their songs, say, a little "blue" for good Jehovah's Witnesses?

    My favorite amigo just got shunned last week. Without giving it away (and I would because the circumstance in which my friend and the shunners came into contact with each other was very public and would be easily identifiable to those there...wouldn't want to give any hints)...

    as I was saying, without giving it away... my boy did well. He handled it like a champ. Though the look of horror he had on his face when I offered to go over and have a word with that dismal looking couple- that was priceless! I'm such a scary she-beast, but he should know better to think I'd sink to that level of drama! Yawn. Shun this, you weenies!

    Uh, that said, I'm all better now. Can't mention Pixies and shunning in one post or my head explodes. In seriousness, the only real concerns my friend expressed from the Saturday Night Shun-off he was experiencing was the feeling that the news of the sighting would immediately get back to his family. But it was a good moment for him. One that, if his family were immediately told about it (seeing as word tends to spread fast, no?), they'd hear something about another one of his many accomplishments. So if he felt sad that he couldn't share it firsthand with his family, he'll still be okay. He's a winner like that.

  • jaredg
    jaredg

    great thread guys!!!

    i haven't had any shunning experiences...the only jws that i see are family and other that i knew in the congo but were weak. but i haven't talked to my sister in a few weeks so this thread reminded me that i need to call her.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    About a year ago we informally started the 'fade'. I have never been able to keep quiet about things that bother me, but in this instance I have not said much to anyone - due to the typical fear of being DF'd as an evil 'apostate'. As if reading my mind I began to hear comments from elders -that got back to me - that I was 'borderline apostate'. That rumor must have had legs, for the 'shunning' started immediately and has not stopped. I have never been approached by the elders - I think they don't want the showdown and know that I will have my pistols ready to fire - and yet I am usually treated as if invisible.

    This week I was in the local video store when a witness couple came in and tried to act like they did not see me for 10 minutes. I stood in the aisle I knew they were going to come down next and they 'bumped' into me. We did start talking, and Rob brought up an article in a wt about love (can't remember what prompted it) - I suggested he get several copies and distribute to all the elders who had gossipped about me and created a 'shunning without conviction' - his eyes widened as he tried to get a scripture pulled out of the back of his mind - he finally hit upon Hebrews 10:24,25, and stated that no matter what others had done this was a command from God - I agreed, but after quoting the scripture added - that there is no mention there of 5 meetings per week and assemblies too, and that was just a witness addition to a basic direction to encourage those who also serve Christ - he now recognized the danger-zone he was in - I was 'apostate' and poison was in the air. I think if I had turned into a giant rattlesnake he couldn't have gotten out the door any quicker. I later emailed him to let him know I hoped he was not too upset by my frank words - then slipped in a mention of the UN debacle (told him I had come across it in an internet search and found it amazing) - didn't tell him what I found- just thought he would enjoy the press release if he read it - I doubt he did.

    "There is no one more fearful of facts, than a man who cannot defend his faith". Someone said that I think - if not I will take the credit -

    Jeff

  • blondie
    blondie
    Blondie???? there new light on speaking to apostates????

    I'm not sure what light you mean, Grace. I double checked my post and never mentioned apostate once.

    Some of my family are so judgmental they shunned us when we we good, active JWs.

    I'm always as friendly as I can be to the witnesses I run into. Irrev does most of the shopping so he runs into most of them. They greet us but there is a wariness.

    Amazingly, the one that is the most standoffiish is the sister with no children "in the truth" and just married a non-JW man just out of prison and hasn't been D2D for several years. But she does attend a few meetings a month. I guess that makes her more "holy" than me.

    "Kill them with kindness."

    Don't let them dictate what kind of person you are.

    My husband and I are not labeled apostates, yet, just inactive. Unless not going to the meetings is now the definition of an apostate by the WTS. But not by my definition.

    Many JWs is this area don't have a problem with talking to inactive JWs, they think it will help. We never bring up any controversial topics. The wariness I brought is not due to our being apostates but that they don't want to offend us by saying the wrong thing. The sister I talked about treated us badly when my husband was an elder and I was going to all the meetings.

    I'm curious as to what new light you saw in my post above.

    Blondie

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