What I like with my best friend is that I'm sure he likes me, and whatever he does it will be to help me, even if it hurts ... It's very easy to communicate with ... he knows me and accept me the way I am ... that's a lot already ... I feel lucky here as I'm also his mother and that it mades lots of things very easier, smoother on the parenting side ...
friend
by teejay 42 Replies latest jw friends
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hemp lover
you know who your best friend is, when you think about who you would want to go through your things when you die.
I love this thread. What Mulan said made me tear up. My best friend and I have a pact like this. It's not so much sorting through all the things in our respective homes as it is spiriting away the naughty and/or too revealing bits that are hidden in the box on the top shelf of the closet.
Her birthday was this week and I made her a mix CD as a gift. It was a very emotional experience to go through ten years worth of songs, each one with its own story - our own story, and to have to narrow it down to 15.
Knowing her has made me a better person. She listened to me, really listened, and in so doing, taught me how to listen as well. We've fought hard, we've loved harder, we've betrayed each other, we've apologized again and again and again. We've been through birth, death, sex, marriage, divorce, sickness, depression, euphoria, apathy . . . and we're still together. That's a friend.
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StinkyPantz
Rhonda-
(((SP))) Come to Michigan - long lost auntie Rhonda's right here!
Be careful what you ask for ..
Teej-
I don't really need to say anything, do I SP?
Nope ..
can you establish a real, live friendship ONLINE?
I so badly want to say yes to this, but my experiences have been bad. I think that some people view online friends as totally disposable. It amazes me! I suppose it's because these people use the term so liberally that they don't honestly cherish you as a friend, instead they kinda like you right now, but maybe not later. I have three people online that I have never met, that I totally adore and trust. There are maybe a handful of others that I consider a friend in a loose sorta way. That sounds horrible doesn't it? I guess that's because while I really like them, I don't believe the feelings are reciprocated (like I mentioned before).
riz-
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I've always loved that! -
pettygrudger
I so badly want to say yes to this, but my experiences have been bad. I think that some people view online friends as totally disposable. It amazes me! I suppose it's because these people use the term so liberally that they don't honestly cherish you as a friend, instead they kinda like you right now, but maybe not later. I have three people online that I have never met, that I totally adore and trust. There are maybe a handful of others that I consider a friend in a loose sorta way. That sounds horrible doesn't it? I guess that's because while I really like them, I don't believe the feelings are reciprocated (like I mentioned before).
Very true, but, that's not much unlike real life - no? You meet people, perhaps even feel a *kinship* with for awhile, then the relationship cools. It doesn't negate all the wonderful positive things that you will take from that journey down a common path! And sometimes it ends badly, but even in that is a life lesson to be learned. I know I've learned a thing or 2 from my *relationships* on these boards - some of it has been down right childish, stupid, adolescent bull crappy. But, I've found a few gems too - and for these, the rest was well worth it!
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teejay
some people view online friends as totally disposable. It amazes me! I suppose it's because these people use the term so liberally that they don't honestly cherish you as a friend, instead they kinda like you right now, but maybe not later.
It's a shame, but I do believe you *have* made some unfortunate choices. If it's any comfort, I think your failed "friendships" says much more about them than about you. And hopefully you've been able to learn something that will serve you later on.
Personally, I believe that, in time, people's true identity can be seen online. I remember the Family Book saying that we can get to know a prospective mate by watching how they treat others they care about. It will be a clue to how they might later treat their mate. That technique can be used when picking friends. I believe that people who view online friends and friendships as disposable are probably the same in real life -- untrustworthy, unreliable. People you'd be better off avoiding.
Then again, maybe it's like you said... people throw around the word "friend" without proper care and consideration of what the word means or what it might mean to the person about whom it's directed. I view the word very seriously... always have. When I consider someone my friend (whether online or off), that's it. I have their back, PERIOD. We may not always see eye-to-eye or even get along 24/7, but I hold them very close to my heart. To me, the only difference ? the ONLY difference ? between an online friend and a r/l friend is the miles in between us. -
Mecurious?
I've put myself 'out there' with certain people. Purposely. Just to see if they were trustworthy. Given them my real name, my real phone number... where I live. My daughter's name.
So far, no injuries.
I've made friends online.TJ you have an PM.
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Sassy
Question: can you establish a real, live friendship ONLINE? With someone you've never laid eyes on? With someone who's so far away that they wouldn't be able to bail you out of jail? Or be the one who goes through your stuff when you die?
yes.. and I have.. (no not needed bail money.... but.. )
Typically eventually the closest of my internet friends I have met in person. Rare exceptions are those out of the country.. but usually domestically eventually I meet my closest online friends. And yes, there are friends I made through the internet that have gotten me out of a crisis.. been there for me whether it has been financially or emotionally.. and I have tried to be that kind of friend as well..
to me.. the internet is just another means of meeting people. You can meet people off the net, at parties, clubs, etc etc.. and in the end you do not really know how real they come off either.. Time shows you who they really are and how much you can trust them.
While it is true that there are people on the net who portray themselves to be something they are not.. over time that shows through.. but there are plenty enough of us who are for real.. and are just who you think we are..
and SP... hopefully one day we will get to meet and help you have a positive experience with online friendships that prove to be real.. trustworthy and there for you in the long run
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xenawarrior
*waves* at riz !! You were missed !! Good to see you !!
XW
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StinkyPantz
Rhonda-
Very true, but, that's not much unlike real life - no? You meet people, perhaps even feel a *kinship* with for awhile, then the relationship cools. It doesn't negate all the wonderful positive things that you will take from that journey down a common path! And sometimes it ends badly, but even in that is a life lesson to be learned. I know I've learned a thing or 2 from my *relationships* on these boards - some of it has been down right childish, stupid, adolescent bull crappy.
My luck seems to be worse online, but that's partially do to this medium. I honestly believe that it's near impossible to get close to someone via typewritten words, or the occasional phone conversation.
But, I've found a few gems too - and for these, the rest was well worth it!
Agreed, wholeheartedly.
Sassy-
and SP... hopefully one day we will get to meet and help you have a positive experience with online friendships that prove to be real.. trustworthy and there for you in the long run
I'll be in Cali in four years!!
Teejay-
maybe it's like you said... people throw around the word "friend" without proper care and consideration of what the word means or what it might mean to the person about whom it's directed.
Therein lies the rub. How a person defines friend is totally subjective. I once asked a person from this site how many friends he had made via JWD. He told me 'around 100'. I was shocked! Apparently he counted everyone he had spoken to on the phone as a friend. Which is fine, I just need something substantially deeper to label someone my friend. This way the person knows how special they are and not simply number 78 on my phone list.
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seeitallclearlynow
I believe that people who view online friends and friendships as disposable are probably the same in real life -- untrustworthy, unreliable. People you'd be better off avoiding.
We may not always see eye-to-eye or even get along 24/7, but I hold them very close to my heart. To me, the only difference ? the ONLY difference ? between an online friend and a r/l friend is the miles in between us.teejay, I'm with you on these two statements 100%.