A religion with nothing to Celebrate (page 3)

kwintestal

A religion with nothing to Celebrate

Of course, that's not what you hear when you are studying! You hear how much fun Witnesses have without celebrating holidays - there are gifts throughout the year, "get-togethers", weddings, etc. No need for holidays here! GAG! In the past 8 years of being a Witness I was invited to a whopping 3 weddings, and can count the number of times we were invited to someone else's place for dinner/a get together on one hand!! My "wordly" family has more get-togethers than that each year, not including the holidays! And the friends we have made in the last year or so have been so much more hospitable and giving than any Witness I have met, inviting us over for supper and housewarming parties, or to the movies, or just to hang out, etc. Even my kids have only been invited to one or two "witness" parties in their lives (6 and 4 years old) - and no one with kids really got together that much. Of course, when I first started studying I was 15/16 and didn't care too much for Christmas and my birthday at the time simply because I don't like to be the centre of attention; so I didn't miss it too much except those are the only times when I get to see relatives that live further away. Now that I have kids, I want to do those things for them, my interest has changed. Birthdays are in, we are going to do something for the coming holidays (not sure what though), and the kids are so excited. The ties holidays have with family are so important to me and Mr. Kwin that we feel they rightly deserve to be celebrated. Life needs to be celebrated!

Mrs. Kwin (on an emotional "high" after bringing the kids home from one of their first birthday parties!!)

JH

There musn't be much written on a JW calendar. No birthdays to celebrate, no feasts, no office parties, just hours done in the service.

wednesday

Even now , as my hubby has not attended in years and is agreeing with me on a lot of thigns, he still cannot sing "happy birthday" to his grandchildren. It is pathetic and sad .

Mary

There musn't be much written on a JW calendar.

Actually, there's a wide variety of things written on a JW calendar:

Magazine Day

Special Magazine Day

A Very Special Magazine Day

The Most Special Magazine Day of the Year

Another god-damn Special Magazine Day

Special Magazine Day My Ass

Take this Special Magazine Day and Stick It Where the Sun Don't Shine

See? There's lot's written on a JW calendar!

Preston

Mary, too funny...

It never ceases to amaze me how an organization that can be so financially successful do everything in its power to make the flock feel so miserable. They will throw them a "bone" here and there with an article like "you are precious in Jehovah's eyes" or some "special" arrangement that makes people feel more loved and cared for but I think the main reason why holidays and "special days" are renounced is because it creates a delusion of time, much in the same way that casinos do not have clocks on the walls. The longer they remove any special personal benchmarks in people lives it becomes more and more difficult for people to remember and distinguish from one year to the next, and thus harder for people to leave. They certainly can't use the district conventions and special assembly days because they're all the same, and hard to distinguish frome ach other despite whatever book or brochure they come out with. Of course its difficult for people to leave, they're not even allowed to acknowledge the date of their own existence.

eyeslice

That the JWs are basically dead in their souls is shown by how most JWs sing today at their meetings -- no soul, no life, just a deadpan mouthing of the written words accompanied by uninspiring music. I went to an evangelical church some months ago, and the enthusiasm with which they sang their songs to Jesus was such a contrast with the soullessness of the JWs.

AlanF - couldn't agree more. I sometimes have a little dig at my wife (still attends) about the singing compared to the obvious joy and enthusiasm of gospel music. When in and an elder myself, I often thought that I would take my guitar along one Sunday and open with a bit of live music (rather than the pre-record paino boring stuff).

I think the main reason why holidays and "special days" are renounced is because it creates a delusion of time, much in the same way that casinos do not have clocks on the walls.

Preston - very interesting - I'd never thought about it that way but an excellent thought.

evergreen

I for the first time in 12 years decided it was time to celebrate a birthday.My child recently turned 2 and i bought her a present.We also made a day of it by going to sea world. Every year on her birthday reminds me of what a special day it was.

We are also attending a childrens xmas party which we have been invited to by a very worthwhile charity as my child has a certain condition she was born with .I managed to get my wife to go and she is looking forward to it.(also first time in 12 years)

ps true what you are saying about the singing .totally lacks soul! Half hearted

Scully

Preston,

That's an excellent point about the removal of celebrations - it takes away reference points in peoples' lives. I always hear stories from non-JW friends about things that happen to them, and it's so true that they use holidays and birthdays and other celebrations as reference points. I can remember 3 or 4 Christmases as a child and a couple of birthdays, but everything after my parents became JWs just blends into one homogenized gray area with very few exceptions.

Celebrations are also tangible ways of showing appreciation for the people in your life - and when you take that away, the tendency is to become hap-hazard about doing that. A side effect of that is that a person's self esteem is slowly chipped away by the lack of recognition and appreciation. When I was a JW, it had been years that I felt like I could just *poof* disappear and nobody would even notice. And when we stopped going to meetings and nobody bothered to find out why (it took 8 years for the elders to make a shepherding call), that feeling was confirmed and reinforced. It was like I was a disposable friend - and I had outlived my usefulness.

Love, Scully

Balsam

Having celebrated 20 years of holidays and birthdays I loved it. Then I went on to spend the next 30 years as a witness and it aways felt so desolate and empty of life markers. I still look back on my years growing up with fond memories of Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays with my family and friends. But I always felt bad for my sons growing up with out these special times. I would try to inject some way to recognize them on their birthdays, but it took some thinking to do that. And I missed Christmas, the sense of family and unity. Here we were going out in the door to door on Thanksgiving and Christmas instead of enjoying family and friends ourself. My ex would say oh this is how we unite our family serving JW by going out in his work on worldly holidays. It always made my heart sink. Later on I began to refuse to go out on holidays, it just felt so wrong.

Rutherford is one that really increased the hatred for anything and everything, increasing the fear of the witnesses that everything was demonic and evil. So sad that his legacy still continues in the JW religion long after his death.

At least I can celebrate Christmas with my sons now and they with me. Their Dad is left out, but that is by his still feeling it all satanic. Fear is a powerful control of people.

As Golf said, governments, and religions have been instilling fear and control in people since man kinds finally walking upright, perhaps before then. LOL

Balsam

Preston

Thanks Scully,

From someone who shares the same birthday as I do (and Gillian Anderson) your comments were appreciated. Your life really ends when you become a Jehovah's Witness, much in the same way that employees become dehumanized working for a business environment that doesn't provide them with a nurturing sense of self worth. It was only when I left when I really started living my life and now Bruce and I can look back on our marriage day (bad in the JW's eyes for its controversial nature), our 2 Christmases, and our two Thanksgivings and see how far we've come. There's more depth and appreciation of the knowledge of our time together on those days, than on any ASSembly day that featured a few bad talks in the morning and several in the afternoon with a lunch in between. The only day I remember from being a JW was the day I was baptized (October 15th) but then again...its not every day people put your head underwater...

A religion with nothing to Celebrate

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