For me, I already lived over half of my life for other people, the GB & WTS. I don't want to waste the last half of my life appeasing other people as well.
I agree w you, Paul, and this has been discussed in several good posts already.
Just to clarify: Fading can't be forever. There's a timeline attached to it, which differs with individual circumstances. In our case, we stopped going to meetings less than a year ago. We've had two visits from one elder (the second time he brought his wife), and we were friendly, gracious, and noncommital, blaming our absence on illness and a surgery or two. He seemed to be fishing for some sign that we were disgruntled, had been "stumbled," or were flirting with apostasy, but when we explained that we had been dealing with health issues and our inability to get out at night or sit for hours in a meeting was due to medications we were on he was actually relieved. "Oh, so you're alright, then?" was his reaction. Pretty funny, since I'd just suggested we were far from alright, health-wise.
Of course, I was "spinning" our health condition. There was an illness and some surgery which came along at an "opportune time, but we're all better now.
Meanwhile, over the months, we've opened up with our family members and taken steps to distance ourselves from JWs with whom we were entangled commercially. Slowly we've moved out of the JW orbit. No one calls or comes by. Virtually all of my family is now "out" of the organization and we are in a place emotionally where we would simply be honest if we were confronted, and say that we don't miss the meetings and are much happier since we left the grind.
That conversation will happen someday, I am certain, but we are not inviting anyone over to hear it. We have told all our fellow workers, relatives, and neighbors that we have divorced ourselves from the dubs. We are treating the elders, the Kingdom Hall, the witnesses, the whole process, as irrelevant to our lives. Like most people, we don't particularly relish confrontation, but if and when one occurs we are determined to handle it with grace.
