Will the shunning began?

by Mystery 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  gdt

  Hi there 'mystery'...noted your thoughts, and I must say Australians (or for that matter any nationality)are no more open-minded and caring, or narrow and extreme, than any others. There are those here who are very hard, taking 'suggestions' from the Society, as rules of God himself. So don't feel Aussies are a bunch of 'goodies'.....ask Aussiepost!!

  However, 'one man eats meat, another eats vegetables'. I have concluded that any black and white unquestioned law of God should be followed as best as a human can, and interpretation is just that....the scriptures themselves do not have a clause saying 'but with immediate families this has a different meaning'. So I feel that if an instruction has qualifications and needs to be applied, then it is possible that application may well be wrong. (hence the Society has never said to ignore human kindness to one's immediate family...it can't ever do that....as an example the Bible simply says of some former believers that we should 'not eat with such a man'.........but the Society has applied that to mean 'does not refer to one's immediate family', hence df'd wives or husbands must still be treated by the believer in all the ways required by Christ Jesus, including 'eating with'....so there are many instructions from God but we need discernment to apply them.

  I would suggest that you ask the family members in the truth who are shunning you (??) to show you exactly where the Society has specifically said to shun their flesh and blood, or in fact humans in general. This is a totally different matter than subjecting onesself to purposeful and hurtful anti-god, anti-christ ideas which some have, so I would not accept the need to have a former relative who was in the truth allowed to push his ideas on me, but I would do everything possible to show human kindness which does not include shunning.

  Or better still, 'mediator', check yourself on the CD rom etc the latest information on how to treat dfd or dassoc. relatives spiritually and as fellow humans....there is a major difference between 'shunning (never want to see you or help you), and 'shunning (don't want to share your wicked thinking).

  Have I made any sense? As I said to Gary on your post (sorry if that is really wrong) none of us bring the sun up, and we have to 'love our enemies', not just our friends or relatives.

  Cheers, and we Aussies are not any better or worse than you guys, believe me. We have travelled a lot in the past and enjoyed all nationalities in or out of the truth. Stop worrying!! ok? just be nice.

  bye, geoff.
• 

  Mystery

  Geoff -

  Goodnight.

  A servant of Jehovah needs to be a good listener. This is one of the qualities, IMHO, that you need to practice on.

  I will not acknowlege any more of your comments.

  May you have peace and security,
• 

  gdt

  True, God gave us 2 ears, only one mouth, I'll try hard to do as you say, in the meantime, I am sure you will take special care of yourself and your kids/grandkids. All the best, geoff.
• 

  Ghosthunter

  Mystery -

  I was in the exact same situation almost 3 years ago. My 16 year old son got his 15 year girlfriend pregnant. Lots and lots of drama for both families. Fast forward more than two years later.....I have a beautiful grand-daughter that will be two years old the end of this month. She not only has two parents, but she has two sets of grand parents that have been deeply involved in her upbringing. Not to say it hasn't been a bumpy road, but I honestly think our family has gotten closer because of it.

  Telling my JW mother? OMG! I was PETRIFIED! Every time one of my boys did something wrong, she would lay this guilt trip all over my head that they wouldn't have been "so bad" if they had been raised JW. (Actually, mom, they probably would have been WORSE because they would just do this stuff behind my back.) Basically, I took the chicken's way out. Since she lives 5 hours from me, I easily hid the pregnancy. Besides, there was a possibility she was going to give the baby up for adoption, so we didn't tell a whole lot of people.

  A week after my grand-daughter was born, I told my mom. Her birth gave me the strength I needed to face her and by that time I was IN LOVE with my grand-daughter and didn't care who knew. Or what my mother thought. Her reaction was surprising. She said to me "you mean I'm a great grandmother now? Why didn't you tell me before?" She was very understanding and non judgemental. She sent a gift right away and is constantly asking for pictures.

  Things seem bad now, but, trust me, they will get better. Just make sure you drill into your son's head that it WILL be a long time before he has another one!

  GH
• 

  jgnat

  Ghosthunter, that is awesome advice!

  When my daughter got pregnant, my in-laws freaked (no JW's in my family, so this is real-life drama stuff just). They told my daughter her life was over.

  I told her, "Your life is not over, you just got a twenty-year sentence." I didn't gloss over how much work it would be, but I didn't freak either. During those early months when the family was adjusting to the news, my daughter gave me some of the best advice I have ever heard. She says she can't remember saying it, but it is burned in to my memory. "Mom, there are going to be lots of people telling me I am making a huge mistake. Why don't you do what you do best, and encourage me?"

  Oh, alright. I can do that. I am GOOD at encouraging. I had a new role, and I embraced it.

  I call myself a "funky grandma", and I have lots of energy to do fun things. I make sure my granddaughter is totally and utterly convinced that I have the funnest place to visit in the universe. ...and I get great shock value when I meet new people. One of the first things I tell them is that I am a grandma and I haul out the pictures. They exclaim, "You look too young to be a grandmother!", and I preen.

  Yup, lots of advantages to being a young grandma.
• 

  BluesBrother

  Will the shunning began?

  After 20 years and your moving out of the area , what could the congo do? they will have no records from 20 years ago, most of the elders probably do not know you.Anyway, your son was never baptised so they have no interest in him . His becoming a father cannot be blamed on you.. So the congregation will not be able to take action (or wish to get involved)

  That leaves your family, In every case that I have known people go through the shock/horror stage and end up being supportive. If they dont, and wish to be cool towards you and you son - well so be it ! It would only prove their Christianity to be a thin as the veneer on this cheap table on which I rest my keyboard
• 

  Ghosthunter

  jgnat -

  I HEAR YOU! I absolutely love it when people say to me that I look to young to be a grandma! I just smile and don't tell them my secrets!

  You're not going to believe what me and Grandpa did last weekend to make OUR house the funnest place for my grand-daughter! We acquired two kittens and named them Nemo and Dory. She's so excited! In fact, when she went home, she named two of her stuffed toy kitties Nemo and Dory! As I'm typing this, she's decided to put Nemo in the VCR case!

  Fun stuff!

  GH