by avishai 12 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
oh yeah.. I remember it well. One of my sisters best friends got married and she was already pregnant.. there was nothing publicly done to them. Daddy was an elder and evidentally just getting married was enough..
I dont' think she had even graduated from high school yet and he was my age, which would have make him about 6 years older then she was.
To tell the truth (I know some of you will scream booldy murder about how cruel DFing is and how jws DF everyone unilaterally for every thing) JWs are very promiscuous and don't seem to have any regular "morals". For example if a catholic commits a sin they have offended god so even if they are forgiven God still cares about the sin (I hope I am not explaining this wrong). JWs are different the sin is getting publically embarassed upon an elder reading a letter. I know if several JWs that fornicate in monogamous relationships and then marry( just like wordly people), as long as nobody complains, or the elders can't locate the person (JWs have a uncanny knack of disappering off the face of the earth if they intend on engaging in carnal pleasures) nobody cares! I have seen person after person disappear for a year and return with spouse and baby, just spouse,(if they return single the elders seem to try to have a meeting with them just incase even with out rumors) or just baby. Nothing ever happens!
It seems that for the last 10 years the elders only care about "playboys" (as the bethelites call them). In other words people with a "normal" modern sex life. If you ever step up into the big leagues and enter these complexe clandestine eloping relationships that cross state lines, and where people play chess with the elder body odds are they will do nothing or just privately reprove you.
THe reason I am saying this so shurely is I have seen this happen too much. I have never seen a disfellowshiped pregnant women (ive only seen 2 teens and those bordered on statutory rape) ever. What I see is many single or married women coming to the halls with infants. Now to have an infant you had to have sex, if you fornicate you should be dfed (this is not the real rule, but it is the one the wts uses to scare teenagers), if you can freely talk to a person at the hall they are not dfed. I have never been told not to talk with the woman with the baby infact everyone seems to fawn over the new baby. There is always a weird dont ask dont tell gap of time with these new mothers. You know they dissappeared 6 months ago you know they just had a baby you have no idea if they got married or are just a baby's moma.
How come if you bring the proof you had sex with someone to the meetings nobody cares, but if you go on a date alone you can get dfed even if you did not have sex? Also there is a weird phrase (i cant remember) at wedding talks like "they have kept an honerable courtship in the eyes of jehovah" basically an offical teminate gossip command from the elder body. Which make you wonder why they say this if the two people had sex they should have dfed them or at least not had the wedding at the hall.
It seems that the "real" morals of jws are on parity of the world. The only difference is JWs don't seem to mind if you don't make them look bad. Out of sight out of mind rules. Much like sex in the middle east Also and you dont bring reproach on the name of jehovah by being a active low ranking JW and a fonicator its okay if you keep it hidden until marriage, break up, or baby, if you have a rank it is better to run to the elders first and throw your self on the mercy of the court, and then aux pioneer afterward.
Personally it sux when all your jw friends had all this sex and you were so holy that you actually thought God cared even if the elders did not. now they have gone about their lives meanwhile you are getting older and fatter and lonelier. And while I am not making light of divorce at least these people had something, imagine all the jws that litterally wait 40 years before they get married in constant fear of dieing alone, yet they cant commit to one of the sub-standard jw partners in their area, because they want to marry "only in the lord".
Kwin and I were 18 & 16 when I got pregnant, both baptized. We went to the elders and told them because obviously, they would find out anyway! We had already decided we wanted to get married, even before I was pregnant (we were very serious and "mature" for our age), but the elders thought it was a bad idea because we were so young (which I completely understand), and wouldn't marry us because of the image it would give to others. We were going to be privately reproved but at the last minute the elders told us they were going to publicy reprove us, at the same meeting. No one looked down on us, actually I got a lot of support from sisters, one in particular who taught me how to sew and helped me make some clothes I could wear while my tummy grew, and others who just sent me cards or little gifts, or in other ways let me know they were thinking of me, and wanted me to be happy.
My parents consented to us getting married and we got married by a Justice of the Peace at the courthouse when I was 7 1/2 months along (we were now 17 & 19 years old), 2 JW friends as witnesses, and everyone in the congregation threw a party for us afterwards at our new apartment, and gave us a ton of stuff to get us started. No one ever looked down on us for fornicating or getting married so young (not that we noticed anyway). The congregation also threw a baby shower for me after our daughter was born.
Fortunetly, despite our young ages when we married, we still have a great relationship after almost 7 years of being married (9 years together!). There have been rough patches of course, but leaving the WT together has brought us very close again, probably closer than we have been in a long time.
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