by what_Truth? 50 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome WT
Enjoyed reading your "life experience".
To answer your question, I felt much like a woman who was betrayed by an unfaithful husband. (I know how that feels because that happened to me too)
I was raised as a JW...and thought it was the "truth"....
Being committed and trying to be "spiritual" according to the WTBS rules and only to find out they betrayed my trust was indeed like finding out I was married to an unfaithful man....It will take years for me to heal.
CodeBlue
I think I have gone through a very slow evolveing process of feelings as I realized it was a lie.. I needed to fully grasp what it all meant and in many ways it has taken a year to realize.. there is of course a range of emotions.. hurt, disapointment, disolutionment, anger, fear..
and in the end, happiness to finally know the truth..
I felt the anger, bitterness, resentment, etc as everyone else....
but I also felt relief.
Relieved because for years I knew I wasn't living up to everything that was expected of me.
Relieved because that some of the things that I had been doing and feeling guilty for weren't so wrong after all.
Relieved because I kept having doubts, and we all know that in the Watchtower World, doubts are sins, so I was relieved when I realized that my doubts weren't because I was bad but because there was something wrong, something to give me doubts.
Relieved because I hated field service and know I don't have to feel guilty about not sharing in it.
Relieved because I'm not dying at Armageddon.
I finally realized that ........There are no bigger fools than those who fool themselves"
Then I left and never looked back!
Someone said "validated." I felt validated in that all the little doubts I had for all those years were well-founded. But it was not a good feeling. Like when you finally figure out you're never going to be an astronaut or a ballerina.
I felt really hurt, and then really empty...
relieved, vindicated, liberated!!!!rocky220
Yup, 'bout sums it up!
Nagging doubts were in the back of my head about some things -and it felt good to have that cleared up. I didn't have to feel such anger at the local elders for the lack of love they displayed - they were just playing puppet to the WTS - so why should I expect them to act like Christ?
I was angry and still am after a year - I put my whole heart into this organization for 32 years - it was like waking up to find that all the dreams were wrong and empty - and now I had 32 less years to live. I still wish to be a Christian - but I cannot trust religion - the WT did that to me - so now the confusion of how to put life back together again. No friends - no career - no hobbies - and most my life behind me now -
As one xjw emailed me; thankfully your wife is with you on this - I thank God daily for that! Amen
Jeff
I am thankful for the "real" truths I learned and the skills I achieved via the Theocratic MS. Anyway, I had felt for years as though many of the WT teachings regarding Christian love, forgiveness and charity, etc. were in diasagreement with what I had observed. This puzzled me but I was not overly concerned until things happened that effected me personally. I was in denial that the WTS was not God's organization for a long time. Now that acceptance of the WTS' real nature has crystalized, I feel a bit smug. I am still in the Org. (officially) but my whole perspective has changed. Am I angry with the WTS? Yep, but I'm far angrier with myself for having been duped for so long.
Disbelief in the WTS is for me not disbelief in the God of the Bible. This means that I believe the WTS is now reaping what it has sewn. I look forward to seeing what the future has in store for them.
FM
Everything that all said and of course a LOOOOOOOOOOOT OF ANGER . But this post is what I really feel now:
I "knew" many things weren't "right". But I stuffed those things in the back of my mind with the hope that I'd "get it" later. I "got it", alright! I didn't like JWS being called a "cult". Now I realize, it's simply what they are. I am relieved and happy to be out.
Of course some days I feel angry again, because I have to be hypocrite with family and friends.
