Why, oh why, didn't I take the blue pill....

by mkr32208 44 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Sunnygal41

  As a JW child I tried everything to make "spiritual paradise" real to me. No go. The fact is everyone is acting, assuming that their fellow JWs are "spiritual" - so they must be too.

  When I read this phrase, I thought of the comment I once heard while attending a twelve step meeting............one of the women in the group was talking about her family and how dysfunctional her life had been and how "everyone knew there was an elephant in the middle of the living room, but pretended hard not to notice it." This is what being a dub is like........you feel in your gut that things are terribly askew, but, since no one else is saying anything, mum's the word for you too. I'm sooooo glad I broke free 6 years ago, and am now happier than I ever was. Not being burdened with "saving the whole world" sure as hell lightens the load.

  Terri
• 

  Black Sheep

  I can go back to a KH for a wedding or a funeral, but that's it.

  I drop my wife off there sometimes, but the carpark is about as close as I want to get.

  Stepping into any church for neither of the above reasons would be very hard for me.

  Chris
• 

  LittleToe

  Chris:

  Stepping into any church for neither of the above reasons would be very hard for me.

  Have you examined why you feel that way?
  Ultimately it's just a building, like any other.

  I often recommend that folks try visiting a church merely to exorcise that particular demon/fear that the WTS implanted. It's very liberating!
• 

  confusedjw

  Are you kidding me. It's like missing a good hockey/baseball game to go to a bad local play.

  Week after week after week after week
• 

  lonelysheep

  My blue pill would be to forget I'd ever known the watchtower and never had any brainwashing effect my life. So in my case, I'd take it!

  I've used the matrix analogy, too.
• 

  undercover

  I often recommend that folks try visiting a church merely to exorcise that particular demon/fear that the WTS implanted. It's very liberating!

  I love going into old churchs to see the architecture, especially in Europe and the UK. I did it as a JW, though it was frowned on by some and I felt a little guilty about it. I justified it by thinking that they wouldn't be around to visit after J destroyed them. Now, I know better and it's even more fun to visit them.
• 

  Sassy

  sometimes I wish I could be hypnotized and have all memory erased from my mind ever having been a JW..

  but it isn't like we can have it replaced with normal people memories....

  I know sometimes my bf doesn't understand why I can't just get over it too.. although the more he spends time with me and exdub friends, he is learning a new respect for our needs..
• 

  what_Truth?

  I'd be somewhat wary about going to a different church right after you've left the JW's though. Keep in mind that if you've already fallen for one cult your ripe and prime to fall for another. For some it can be like a recovered alcoholic waltzing into a crack house for the first time. before you go do some homework. Go to www.rickross.com to see if the church may be a cult or a dangerous organization. It's also good to take a rank and file member out for coffee (not a pastor though since their charisma can be dangerous) and ask them a ton of questions about their beleifs, church teachings, etc. If they suggest that you attend a bible study tell them you will consider it and ask more questions. Afterwards, go home and think about it hard. Ignore the fact the other parishoners "seem like nice, happy people" (so did the all the JW's you met, at first.) Ignore the fact that the pastor preaches a message of peace, hope, and loving thy neighbors (many churches, including the JW's also do this.) REALLY ask yourself if you want to live the life that the rank and file member you talked to does. Ask yourself if you can swallow the spiritual philosophies they've left you with. Ask yourself, "if a soldier put a gun to my head and told me to renounce my faith could I refuse, take a bullet, and die knowing I'd made the right decision?" All this may seem a little dramatic, but then choosing a new life long spiritual path is a very dramatic step in anyone's life. Avoid any church that tries to tell you otherwise.
• 

  Winston Smith :>D

  I would NEVER go back, it's not an option. Not a thought on the radar, not even a blip.

  To thyself thou must be true.

  I sat myself down, once, and seriously thought about it. Then got up a wiser man...

  LT

  ...and that's exactly why.

  Find your True Self. Rid yourself of the WTS phobias and see what the workd has to offer.

  BTW, I like the idea of walking into a church to rid yourself of those particular WTS phobias.
• 

  LittleToe

  What_Truth:Just to qualify what I wrote, incase there's any confusion: I wasn't advocating joining a religion, just exorcising a few ghosts.

  I'm of the type to confront fears, especially since someone once fed me the adage "fear only fear itself"...

  Of course that doesn't mean that I'm getting the spider out fo the bath - get it yourself!!!
  ~run away~

  Oh, btw, talking of adages, I hate the one that goes "what doesn't kill ya will only make ya stronger"!
  I can't explain why, it just bugs the crap out of me (even if I do occasionally have to begrudgingly accept that it's true)...